[comeoneiline]

I am very curious about how old people are. I think about it literally for hours each day. However, it doesn't really hinder me in everyday life, but I'm still crazily obsessed with finding out people's ages. Is this a problem that I need to correct, or is it just a harmless, healthy quirk? Thanks in advance for your answers and support!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by comeoneiline

I think about it literally for hours each day.

That is a hindrance in your everyday life! You cannot think about two things at once; if you need to think about other people instead of your own life (your school or work work, for example) it is a distraction. What "should" you be thinking about that is too scary/upsetting that other people's ages is soothing or less frightening? You cannot "do" anything with other people's ages, it would be nice if you had some other interest that would help you or others?

[possum220]

Maybe at first it was something fun to do. Why did you start doing it? Then it became a habit. Why do you think you want to know their ages for? Something that takes up that much time must take your mind away from doing other pleasurable things. Sounds like it has become an obsession.

Do you want to stop it? Or are you happy with doing it is more the question.

[comeoneiline]

I want to thank both of you for answering! What I really want, and I know I won't find it, is other people who share my interest. It's like finding people who like a certain type of music, so we can talk about it together. Or maybe a better analogy is sports. I wish there were age guessing tournaments and competitive teams. But, of course, there aren't, and there probably never will be.

[healingme4me]

Never say never. I've been to fairs, etc, where there were people that could guess ages. It's a very small percentage, but it exists in this world.

[comeoneiline]

Thanks! It's cool to be among a minority... if I could only find someone like me!

[-jimi-]

If you actually like doing this I would say it's part of your cognitive style. Some people simply need a heck of a lot of order around them. If they overdo it so it really negative them or people around them, it could be seen as a personality disorder (OCPD not to confuse with OCD which is a completely different thing).

Even things that are done in our own way can get in our way. So it kind of doesn't hurt to try to be a little flexible. It's a balancing act really. Trying to bend a little but not try to violate who you really are.

[comeoneiline]

Thanks, Jimi! What's the difference between OCD and OCPD?

[-jimi-]

The main difference is that a personality disorder is a stable pattern of someone's thinking, acting etc... while OCD is a specific anxiety disorder that can occur in many personality types. Even if OCD can take over your life it is not part of who you are.

Oddly enough when someone who doesn't know about mental illness jokes about OCD, he means OCPD. The jokes go like "Oh you have a neat house, can't you clean my place." Or "I wish I had a little OCD now so I could organize my files". OCD creates chaos while OCDP at least is meant to create order.

Someone who has OCD has lost control to the illness, there is no "order" about that. The illness tells him what needs to be done, it's not things he want to be done really. If he lines up things it is because it gives him anxiety if he doesn't. If he doesn't count things it also gives him anxiety. The chaos can be so intense he loses most of his waking hours to the OCD monster. In a way it is a psychosis (in the very lose sense) of the feelings but not of the reasoning (even if rarer OCD with delusion does exist but I don't want to make it too complex).

The sufferer knows he doesn't need to wash his hands 40 times. But his feelings don't. His feelings still think he has to and feelings often are stronger than reasoning. So there is usually this inner battle in the OCD sufferer, reason saying it is fine to wash just once and himself trying to cling onto reason but feeling comes on strong and he might be too anxious not to do the compulsion. Some cases the person has stopped fighting compulsions but he still knows they are not normal. And he'd rather not have the obsessions. Because they really get in the way. I should say all OCD doesn't look the same but they have the same common features.

A person with OCPD might line up things because either it gives him pleasure to organize, or he feels that is how the items should be. The order he creates does not go against his wishes. He might feel bad if things are out of place, but not because an illness tells him what to do, but because he wants things his way. When he puts things back into their places he feels good. Someone with OCD carrying out a compulsion does not feel he is organizing something in a positive way, he just feels release from anxiety and is relieved it is over for now.

People with OCPD needs a lot of structure. They might make lists, always put things back in their places, organize a lot more than what is common and they want to do things to perfection. They are people "set in their ways". The issue they come across is not really within their own minds (the OCD sufferer might suffer alone or when around people) but in relation to other people. Other people might mess up their perfect world and other people might find them rigid and not very flexible. Sometimes the person with OCPD suffers on his own too though, when he does not manage the level of perfection he wanted for example. But he still does things in line with what he wants. When the person with OCPD does something, it is a free will thing, while the OCD sufferer is similar to someone who caught a flu, it is unwanted.

The reason because they even almost share a name is if you look at behaviors from outside, they might seem stereotypical. Digging a little deeper we see these are very different things. Someone with OCD can also have OCPD traits, actually it is quite common someone with OCD have at least one thing they do that is not anxiety based but still stereotypical. But most people with OCD are just everyday personalities, they can be really messy and unorganized even.

I notice a bit of a difference between the continents yet again. In Europe we keep the diagnosis of OCD quite narrow. In USA it seems like it is broader and also allows people with OCPD traits in, maybe because they don't have a complete PD. I think this is unlucky.

I have a friend who likes organizing things. It gives him pleasure. Yet he is diagnosed OCD and to me that is strange.

Anyway... I hope I didn't make things more confusing.

[wisedude]

Its a bit strange if you are continually preoccupied with such thoughts.

[wisedude]

I"m 38 though if it makes you happy to know