Holiday Blues??

What causes holiday blues?

Sadness is a truly personal feeling. What makes one person feel sad may not affect another person. Typical sources of holiday sadness include:
stress,
fatigue,
unrealistic expectations,
over-commercialization,
financial stress, and
the inability to be with one's family and friends.

Balancing the demands of shopping, parties, family obligations, and house guests may contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed and increased tension. People who do not view themselves as depressed may develop stress responses, such as:
headaches,
excessive drinking,
over-eating, and
insomnia.

Others may experience post-holiday sadness after New Year's/January 1st. This can result from built-up expectations, disappointments from the previous year, coupled with stress and fatigue.

Tomorrow... how to cope... 'cause I sure need it!!

Hi September Morn and Friends,

I have very little family left in this world, and they all live very far away.

The commercialization of Christmas is really getting annoying.

Money is something I used to have -- LOL.

Thankfully, I still believe in God, and trust Him, no matter how bleak things look some days.

EJ

It is as if we are never allowed to rest anymore!!! When did holidays turn into so much work???

I agree Tanya. I stay so exhausted because of the holiday season. Thanksgiving and Christmas is at my house every year. It takes alot of work and money to get through it all. Plus, I have two grandchildren that have birthdays that I have to worry about. One is on Thanksgiiving and the other is the week after.
I was thinking today after I went to the grocery store trying to get the groceries bought up, how expensive it is, plus, dealing with the pain is almost too much.
I hope everyone has a blessed holiday season.
Linda

Hi, all,
I truly do not buy into all the commercialism. I don't know when I actually stopped doing it, but I ignore much of that aspect of the holidays.
I've had debilitating holiday blues in the past, but not now. I just look forward to gathering with friends and family for Thanksgiving. For Christmas, I buy my daughter and the twins simple gifts, and try to maintain my balance.
I should also add, that after many years of intense grief during the holidays, I've developed a "tough skin" regarding it alll. I could just as well miss it, but that's part of my own survivial.
Love
Patty

I sometimes wonder if I'm not suffering from holiday blues. Lets say 20 or 30 years ago I loved christmas and the christmas spirit but it's true that nowadays it's all very commercial. Above all Christmas for me is to be with people I love and care for. Just being together is very important for me. I'm not sure I'm going to see my mother this Christmas. I only see her every two years as she lives on an Island near Greece which is rather far from where I live. We only get the chance to see each other every two years. I miss her sometimes even though we speak on the phone often. For me family is more important that anything. I'd rather have my family with me and in good health than a present bought in a shop.

I stopped buying into the commercialism while all my kids were still at home. The physical and monetary drain was too much! The rush that commercialism puts on Christmas angers me the older I get. I've always pretty much lived my life just for today. The stores won't allow you to do that!

There's one woman here in the park that puts out her Christmas decorations out right after Halloween. I asked her why the other day. She said that she wants to capture the goodwill and that spirit of the season as soon as she can and extend it for as long as she can. Maybe that's what I'm missing.

Thanksgiving, for me, has always been a main holiday. As I was growing up, it was the time for extended family to get together. It was that way when my kids were growing up. Now they've all chosen either to not celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional way or to celebrate it with the in-laws.

For years, I've been one, single person, but no one thinks of adding me to their group. I've mentioned it but no results. I don't know why. I'm not a drunk, I don't get belligerent, don't tell the daughters-in-law how to do their thing. I pretty much stay with the kids and turn into one of them. If I'm asked to help, I do what I can.

Christmas, my family; my husband, I and kids stayed at home. My mom was the only one that came over. Now, the only one that comes over is my oldest son... on Christmas afternoon, after everybody is burned out and the mood is over. This may sound *****y, but I've spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning alone. No excitement, no church service, no nothing. They come over still full from their Christmas lunch so I don't cook anymore. Just have a few of the baked goods that we used to have when the kids were growing up. If I'm lucky, Jerry has stayed in a stable mood... most likely NOT.

For the last couple of years, since I've had my power chair, I've wanted to go cruise the mall, see the decorations, etc. Nope! It's too much of a hassle to put the trailer on the back of the RV and load the power chair, find two parking spaces, (because he can't put a hitch on his chick car, a Miata!!) and then unload the chair. All he's got to do to load and unload is DRIVE the damn chair!

One year, I skipped Christmas here in town. I went to San Francisco to spend it with a good friend there. I would do it again, but he went and died on me!

I don't know... I've got to find SOMETHING different to do around the holidays. This depression STINKS!!

I would be depressed too!!! No one should be alone on Christmas!!! If it makes you feel any better, this year will be my first christmas away from home...

I'll be thinking of you when I sit in a bar crying over missing my family!!!!!! lol
It's so unfair that you have to be alone, and that no one realises how horrible it must be and not invite you!!!

(((((( Tomi ))))))))

I have no way to get to a bar... if I went to bars anymore. I'm too old!! LOL How about we have a glass of sparkling apple cider on Christmas Eve and we toast being friends?

Oh Tomi, I'm so sorry.

I've spent many Thanksgivings and Christmases all alone. It's miserable. I hope you do not have to spend the holiday season alone again.

Hugs,

Jan

The least I'm going to do is have some peace, Hon, but no doubt I'll be alone again. Like I said, I have to find something to do that I can make my very own tradition.

Tips for coping with holiday stress and depression:

Make realistic expectations for the holiday season.

Set realistic goals for yourself.

Pace yourself. Do not take on more responsibilities than you can handle.

Make a list and prioritize the important activities. This can help make holiday tasks more manageable.

Be realistic about what you can and cannot do.

Do not put all your energy into just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day, New Year's Eve). The holiday cheer can be spread from one holiday event to the next.

Live and enjoy the present.

Look to the future with optimism.

Don't set yourself up for disappointment and sadness by comparing today with the good old days of the past.

If you are lonely, try volunteering some time to help others.

Find holiday activities that are free, such as looking at holiday decorations; going window shopping without buying and watching the winter weather whether it's a snowflake, or a raindrop.

Limit your drinking, since excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression.

Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way.

Spend time with supportive and caring people.

Reach out and make new friends.

Make time to contact a long lost friend or relative and spread some holiday cheer.

Make time for yourself!

Let others share the responsibilities of holiday tasks.

Keep track of your holiday spending. Over-spending can lead to depression when the bills arrive after the holidays are over. Extra bills with little budget to pay them can lead to further stress and depression.

And from another website...

If you are experiencing holiday blues:

Establish realistic goals and expectations for the holiday season, and do not label the holiday season as a time to cure all past problems. The holidays do not prevent sadness or loneliness.

Do not feel obliged to feel festive. Accept your inner experience and do not force yourself to express specific feelings.

If you have recently experienced a tragedy, death, or romantic break-up, tell people about your needs.

Enjoy holiday activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations. Go window shopping without buying anything.

Express your feelings to those around you in a constructive, honest, and open way.

If you need to confront someone with a problem, begin your sentences with "I feel."

We must definately have that toast!!! (I can't really drink alcohol anyway.)