[live2ski66]

New one:
Went to return the car I rented, way over due, the battery in my car was dead. It was fairly cold so I was not going to jump the car this evening. Now this event cuts into Andy's birthday celebration. I wear my UGA shirt, ski the runs he loved and rememiss what would have been. Unfortunately he decided that he preferred a different plane to live in. Our birthdays were always a celebration. We start with his day and end with mine.

I can't remember who said you are only given what you can handle.... I think they forgot about me

1) mommy dearest blocks my access to my inheritance.
2) without money I slip into a major depression mixed in with some BPD when dealing with mommy dearest
3) difficulty getting money to pay rent, landlord was a ****, he could not fathom being a human being
4) my PDoc quits, moved to MT and is giving up her CO license
5) lost my dream job because I cannot focus on more than one chaos at a time. While I was trying to reason with mommy dearest and the landlord I was not able to give work the necessary attention. It won't look good on my CV loosing my teaching job at the Harvard of Ski Schools. I'm not even sure I'll be able to get a teaching job at a comparable school.
6) BPD kicks in, fight with landlord who ends up evicting me. Had to go in search of government assistance, referred to Catholic Charities, they could not help me financially but served as go between myself and the idiot landlord
7) found another place to live, movers screwed up the move, missed moving my entire kitchen. Had to move it at midnight in the dark or I would forfeit my fully stocked kitchen.
8) miscalculated the amount I needed to move in by $200. New landlady wants to evict me over $200. Finally got a loan from my ex-husband for the $200 but he has yet to deposit it to my account. He just told me it won't happen today. Good thing landlady is out of town
9) I forgot, my phone quit working properly, would not take incoming calls back in January. Ordered new phone from T-Mobile. Right after ordering noticed it was being sent to an address two homes in the past. The a-holes refused to cancel the order, phone ended up in limbo. They are being a-holes not wanting to fix problem. So much for being a 10+ year customer with them
10) I had applied for an IT job but didn't get it, most likely because I don't have a working phone
11) my aunt tries to convince me that I am in wrong, that mommy dearest loves me and is hurt because I have exposed her wrongdoings to the family. She (and the entire family) believe I must apologize and ask for forgiveness from mommy dearest and god. I told her with family like mine, who needs enemies!
12) I contacted my local T whom I left when I felt therapy was not going in the direction I believed it should and I felt comfortable, she rejected me.

I feel like the character Vinny in the movie "My Cousin Vinny" where he lists a series of "errors" his fiancé Mona Lisa Vito believes he's committed, at the end of the list, he crosses his arms, pouts and says "is there anything else we can pile on me, is there anything?!"

It is times like this that I realize my 20+ years of therapy, my meds and my service animal make a difference. I know for a fact I would not be here if one of the items in the troika was missing or out of balance.

But boy, I really would like to take a baseball bat to my mothers house and have batting practice with the Ming vase, all the Lladro porcelain, and all the crystal. Maybe even a swing or two at her head stopping a fraction of an inch from her head. Then progress to the rest of the family with my baseball bat. Maybe then and only then will they realize I do have a disease that if not controlled will make my life and those around me impossible to live.

My queendom for some normalcy.[/QUOTE]

[manwithnofriends]

there is something wrong with you. no sympathy

[live2ski66]

I think I'm up to 13
My new landlady made a mathematical error on how much I owed her to move in. Now it's my fault, she wants to evict me by March 4th.

I am beyond being able to cope with my life. I am at my wits end!