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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Foothills, where I belong
Posts: 14,593
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#1
I have noticed that I find it easier to be supportive of others, but not supportive of myself. It seems like a huge struggle to stay positive. Most days I feel like I am just going through the motions of life.
Anyone else feel like you can support and encourage someone else, but find it so difficult to do it for yourself. For the last couple of weeks, I have been fighting the urge to go to bed, and stay there to escape my "life". |
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bookmadness, henrydavidtherobot
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Magnate
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 2,804
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#2
Hi seekersinking, I guess "do what I say not what I do" applies to plenty of people
And we can sometimes give others positive feedback and encouragement (as well as understanding and empathy!!) but when it comes to ourselves.............. But maybe try to write down all the things you're feeling (leaving nothing out!) just for you. Then imagine that someone else (someone else entirely- even picture someone!!) has just come at you with this and what you'd really want to say to them, really feel the encouragement, support you'd be putting out there for them. Now write down your responses because you probably aren't going to be taking it all on board for yourself!! But if you can at least remember some key things (the most meaningful to you) in your responses and repeat, repeat, repeat.....them to yourself. If someone else deserved those responses why shouldn't you??!! And perhaps put a lot more focus on YOU, things/thoughts that are going to help YOU, remembering YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! But I'm guessing you aren't telling that many people all the things you could be telling them?? OK you aren't going to be telling everyone everything, obviously, but could you let a little more go to those around you? Afterall if they are getting your support don't you deserve just a little back??!!! And I could say maybe you're giving others a little too much support at your own expense??? Perhaps it's taking it out of you a bit, leaving you drained in terms of really focusing on yourself?? If so then maybe let other people turn to someone else at times, nothing wrong with gently taking yourself out of the situation for the time being. You have to come first!!! And everyone is going to need support from others, in whatever ways, at times so if you're finding it hard to be supportive to yourself, and there are gaps in what other people can offer you WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! Give yourself a break and let us try to help!!! Alison |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,169
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#3
seekersinking,
were you the caretaker in your family? It may be that you have learned to take care of others but there really was not someone to take care of you that gave you the kind of mentoring you needed to have to enable you to have better self esteem. |
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bookmadness
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