[hartbroken]

I suffer from schizoaffective, and we all know this is a chronic suffering, filled with torment and confusion a lot of the time.

I came down with kidney problems from diabetes which was triggered by the meds I take for schizoaffective. All of a sudden people are worried about me, because they can identify with the kidney disease. But when it comes to the constant mental disorder I've dealt with all along, there's been little compassion, or desire to learn more about the disease so they can have empathy for what I always go thru.

So why do people gravitate towards one and not the other?

[atomicc]

I don't know if we'll ever be able to answer that. For some reason in our society today, an illness isn't real or worth any care or attention unless there is some tangible evidence of it. Unless they can look at a blood test and say "oh, that's what you have". We are thrown to the wolves because our sickness is in our mind where others can't see it.

[Open Eyes]

hartbroken, unfortunately the majority of people can only empathize when they experience something first hand.

I suffer from PTSD and the people I needed the most support from treated me the worst. And then if they take time to learn some things about it, they see the symptoms, and think they "know" what it means, but sometimes that can make it even worse. With this new found knowledge they still really don't know what it means and can often be very condescending and begin to do things they "think" are helpful which are not.

I have even been in scenarios where I will be interacting with someone and explain to that person, "I don't mind talking with you but ease up, I have PTSD", well it didn't make a difference and I found what can happen even is someone can keep pushing, which tends to not end well. To add insult to injury the one who gets blamed is the person with PTSD too. I have seen it happen to others who struggle with PTSD too, and I always felt bad for them because I know the challenge first hand.

PTSD presents symptoms that different people who have it experience that
can be very crippling. However, the "triggers" in each person who struggles can be different depending on what kind of trauma they experienced and their personal history. Things that bother me may not bother someone else that has PTSD and things that bother someone else
may not bother me.

[Open Eyes]

(((atomic))),

One of the difficult parts is that often others see your symptoms and just think you can stop it, it just isn't that easy as you know. What people fail to understand is that first the person struggling has to understand what their challenge means, then depending upon what the challenge is, it can be a long road to learn ways to overcome it or at least better manage it.

They may not know what to do. I took a weekend intensive last year. At the end we wrote and shared a letter that is intended to communication how it feel about the illness, what you it is like when you are down and how they can recognize it. What can they do that would be helpful (hold my hand, don't hold my hand, sit quietly, leave me alone). These are things that are going to be different from person to person so that's why you need to communicate. You also need to be prepared that mental illness is just too much for them.

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[Nammu]

Originally Posted by hartbroken

I suffer from schizoaffective, and we all know this is a chronic suffering, filled with torment and confusion a lot of the time.

I came down with kidney problems from diabetes which was triggered by the meds I take for schizoaffective. All of a sudden people are worried about me, because they can identify with the kidney disease. But when it comes to the constant mental disorder I've dealt with all along, there's been little compassion, or desire to learn more about the disease so they can have empathy for what I always go thru.

So why do people gravitate towards one and not the other?

In a word, FEAR. Most of what the public knows about MI is what they hear though the media. MI is surrounded my mystery and myth whereas the more common illnesses have been destigmatized. There were times in the past when people who had the symptoms of our commonly known illnesses and they were ostracized by others out of ignorance. Dementia symptoms for older women who lived alone often meant they were left alone and feared instead of helped is one example. People have heard of diabetes and the complications of kidney disease and are more comfortable around it.
I'm sorry you have had to go though so much with so little support.

Fear and ignorance. It's pathetic.

[shortandcute]

mental illness has always been hidden or put on the back burner, so to speak; mentally ill family members were hidden in the basements or attics, or left in some asylum somewhere where they could be hidden and forgotten about, so society as a whole just didn't realize that mentally ill people really existed

now, it's coming out more and more that mental illness DOES occur, and that those of us who have it are real people, and we're not just "bad seeds" or "black sheep,' or whatever--but I think the human race is still so used to believing that it all comes down to a morality issue that people freak out when faced with it in real life

[shortandcute]

p.s. I'm Sorry this is happening to you. I know that's frustrating and hurtful.

[justbeingme80]

I agree with a lot of what has been said. For me, I've had to deal with people who just simply afraid. Most of what people hear/know about MI is from the media, and they rarely say anything that doesn't involve someone--I don't know how to word this--but, most of their stories involve tragedies--shootings, murder-suicides. And that's pretty much all that people hear. Very few well known people have come out of the closet so to speak, and until everyone gets rid of the stigma, many people are just going to be afraid or just not understanding. I've had someone tell me "oh, I've been depressed, but I felt better a couple of days later" "you'll feel better in a couple of days". They just don't realize how debilitating MI can be, whether it's depression, bipolar, schizophrenia,etc.

I know this is off-topic, but somewhat related. Bullying has become a campaign now to stop it, but when I was younger all I heard was "just ignore it" or "kids being kids". Now that some kids have committed suicide over it, it's become more of an issue out in the open.

Similarly, MI needs to be portrayed as it really is--not just the stories about violence and the mentally ill.

[pj4101]

Fear and/or ignorance rules. Many people I have met think it's a choice, like what to wear each day. Until they or someone they love gets ill, then they may try to learn about it. Some people I tell, most I do not because then they look at you like you're the next serial murderer in disguise. As an introvert with PTSD I hate to think what opinions would
surface from some of my acquaintances. "Loners" get a bad rap and if they have MI it's
worse.

[Virgoevermixedup]

I agree with what is said, it is difficult for people to connect with what they do not have experience with, which falls back to fear. I feel like if more people could watch from the suffers point of view they could possibly understand. Racism is born of ignorance and intolerance, MI is much of the same. People avoid the MI like they will catch the illness, but will not recognize it is an illness

Seems odd but we see it throughout history

Be strong push forward and join the fight to educate