[live2ski66]

Suicide, by default, suicidal? Or can one think about suicide on a cerebral level without intending to act on the thoughts? As in, "boy it would be nice to no longer have to live with this pain" but you have no intentions to go down that path.
Do you think that crossing the line between thought and action is inevitable?

Just another curiosity question.

[Perna]

To me, suicidal is someone who has a plan to commit suicide. If you are just reading, writing, thinking about, etc. suicide that can sometimes be good I think.

Otherwise, people who think about how good looking someone else is when they're married would be considered as committing adultery?

[waggiedog]

[B][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Indigo"]Hi there. Speaking purely from my point of view ~ when I'm depressed and I can't find another way out, I talk of suicide in the absolute sense, I'm planning where and when and I'm going to do it. That's just my take on it. The only thing that stops me acting on my thoughts, is that suicide is the permanent answer to a possible tempery problem. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Grey Matter]

I was taught by therapists, and god only knows it may be wrong, that there is a difference between suicidal actions (planning, writing letters) and suicidal thoughts. But this is really just me tossing it what psychologists have said to me.

I think that those of us who think about it are at higher risk for crossing the line from thought to action, and I say this because it has always simmered on a burner somewhere in the back of my mind since early childhood.

When I was in my early 30's it jumped from the back of my mind to the front of my mind and I acted on it, but thankfully I survived the attempt. My therapist put me into the hospital for two weeks inpatient treatment and some intense outpatient treatment for several weeks thereafter.

The next time (a couple of years later) that it became so intense I thought I'd act on it, I checked my own self back in without my therapist having to intervene. That's been almost 20 years ago and so far so good. I agree with the other poster up there about it being a permanent solution to temporary problems.

I also refuse to give the bastards (my abusers) that! ... However, and with all that being said, I'd be foolish to think it will never happen again. When (and if) it does, I hope that I'll still have the fortitude to get my butt back into a safe place until the impulse/urge simmers back down again.

[cool09]

Most people in the World wonder what suicide would be like. It doesn't mean that they are entertaining the idea. Just as some people wonder about skydiving or bungee jumping. It doesn't mean that they want to take part in it. And all sorts of people weigh suicide when they run options thru their mind with respect to whatever situation (business, arts, love, hate, etc.) they happen to be in. Just another facet of being a human being.

[shabur]

I have been suicidal with a plan, the means to do so, intent and had written a letter to my siblings telling them I love them very much and explaining why I was taking this step. I was stopped and hospitalized for a little over 30 days.
Now every time I see my pdoc she asks if I am suicidal. I always answered "no" knowing that while I had no intent I still think about it.
One day, after answering that question again, I felt this guilt. I emailed my pdoc telling her that while I didn't have a plan to act on it, I think about suicide frequently.
Her response was that there is a difference between thinking and acting, and that I can feel safe in discussing it with her. And I am.
I hope this helps.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by live2ski66

Suicide, by default, suicidal? Or can one think about suicide on a cerebral level without intending to act on the thoughts? As in, "boy it would be nice to no longer have to live with this pain" but you have no intentions to go down that path.
Do you think that crossing the line between thought and action is inevitable?

Just another curiosity question.

I don't think thinking about suicide in general makes someone suicidal, I think even people who are mentally healthy might explore the thought in their mind from time to time. I think to be suicidal it means you have suicidal thoughts and you plan to act on them or are afraid you will act on them.

[live2ski66]

I've had my half-*** attempts, twice in my life. They were more a staged effort to scare those who had hurt me into giving me the attention I felt I deserved and they were not giving me. After each act, I changed my life in a different direction based on what I had learned, who was on my side, and who didn't give a damn about me.

Then the love of my life, the one person in the world who I thought understood what I struggled with every day because he had the same struggle killed himself. It was completely unexpected for his family, friends and me. In the back of my mind I thought I would do it before he would even think of it. His death, shook me to the core, even now, eight years later. I made a vow that I would never go down that path in his honor. Instead I would pursue happiness, not just spurts of happiness, but long term happiness.

A couple years after his death Bugsy, my emotional service animal adopted me. This solidified, if you will, my resolve not to kill myself. Now I am responsible for an innocent helpless life. I owe it to Bugsy to take care of him and be there for him since he does that for me every day from the moment he wakes me up with his purrs and pawing to the moment I say "sleepy bye" and he runs into the bedroom and jumps on his pillow. I can't kill myself, I don't want him to end up in a shelter or worse.

When I'm in the pit of the abyss, like I am now, it is always on my mind. The illusion that one action could make the pain and suffering go away is hypnotizing. But the reality is right there in front, next to the illusion.
It is just so difficult to keep that stiff upper lip day after day. It is so difficult not having anyone to tell how low I am, to tell them I'm low enough to think about ending it, and just talking.

Aside from the reasons I mentioned, the final reason I won't kill myself is because I can't come up with a foolproof way. They all have a real possibility of failure and living with the physical and psychological effects of a failed suicide attempt sounds even worse than anything I've experienced or can imagine experiencing.

My cats have been important that way too. Somebody you are responsible for.

I have heard more than 90% of people think seriously about killing somebody and don't act on it. I think we would be surprised and relieved to know what other people think. (But I WILL pass on the mind reading pill thanks )

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