[Unsure16]

Hello. I am reaching out because I do not know where to start. My 16 year old daugher came to me last night asking if it would be ok to see a Therapist. I asked her for what reason... she looked at me and told me she's been having thoughts of hurting herself. I was stunned. I automatically asked if she was ok. What was wrong. Was anyone bothering her at school? Was she upset because we sometimes don't have money for things, etc... She said no nothing like that. She couldn't give me a specific reason but I told her yes, I will find someone she could talk to. I asked her if she was willing to open up and be honest with whatever the therapist would ask. She said yes.

We are an open family. We eat dinner together, watch tv together. She is boy band crazy, loves Pinterest, listening to music and being on her computer, and has a man crush on Tom Hiddleston. She does not have the best grades (but neither did I), she loves art - in fact, I noticed that she has been drawing on her wrists, inner arms and hands alot lately. When she was asking to see a Therapist, she showed me that she removed all marks and showed me that she hasn't done anything to herself; I am beside myself with worry for my child. I don't know where to go. I have been unemployed for almost a year now, however, I will be starting a new job in less than 2 weeks. I will have great insurance then but I need to know how to handle things in the meantime.

I would be most grateful for comments or suggestions. Thank you.

[ImNotHere]

First off you should be so proud that your child feels comfortable enough to come to you when she feels that she needs help. Some children can never do this and often their problems go unnoticed for years. If she says she has had thoughts of hurting herself then she definitely needs therapy and I am glad that you are looking for someone for her to speak to, don't be shocked though if the first therapist does not work out. It often takes several tries to find the right therapist or personality match, like the right person where your child feels comfortable talking with so it may take some time.

The most important thing you can do is keep the communication open and do not be judgmental, let her talk to you and be open with out fear. That is when teens start hiding things, when they get afraid. Have you noticed any depression, anxiety, serious change in behavior or eating habits? Have you looked in to art therapy? it can be helpful for some people.

I fully agree with everything ImNotHere posted. Best to you and your daughter. it sounds like you have raised a conscientious young woman.

[Nammu]

Kudus for listening to her and validating her feelings. Of course you are worried about this but don't expect her to have any clear cut reasons for these feelings and don't blame yourself for this. Kids who have great stress free lives also have these feelings so it's not necessarily due to the economic plight of the last year. It sounds as if you have a great relationship with her so in the next few weeks as you wait for the insurance ask her to promise she will come to you if the feeling or thoughts get too much to handle. If it becomes an emergency go to the ER. Just knowing that you will support her is the best medicine you can give her at this time, that's pure gold.

[shabur]

During this time, before your benefits are in place, I would suggest checking into what your community offers. These aren't always the best option, but it will fill in the gap and get her the help she needs now.
You're a great mom.