[Grey Matter]

My therapist was an NP who worked in a practice run by an awful man. Three weeks ago, upon our session, I was called by the secretary not to come in. After asking "why?" I was informed they cut taking medicaid. Of course, the blow was horrid. She was the first therapist I've had that actually did their jobs, managed my meds with me rather than not taking my word into consideration. She understood grief, and also specialized in MDD and anxiety disorders.

I haven't had therapy in over a month.
My meds ran out the day before therapy, as that is where I was given refills.

My GP will not give me my anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication. She is against handing out psychiatric medication. Even though I have been on the same anti-depressant for over a year, with positive results.

I cannot find a psychiatrist in my area. I am running out of options. And my brain is paying for it.

In the past week, I haven't gotten out of bed. I haven't left the apartment. Showering became a challenge. I spent most days in horrid panic attacks, dealing with terrible thoughts, not sleeping, not eating. I am the living personification of "failure" at the moment. I am this horrid physical embodiment of everything evil and horrid. And I can't escape it.

My friend got me weed to help with anxiety. I haven't smoked in ages. And when I did, I just zoned out and felt too far out of myself. I have tried calming teas, meditation, my partner has given me massages that have ended in my own tears.

I was doing so, so well. I was improving so much. And now I am back where I started. Actually; I am farther back then where I started.

I have no idea what to do.

Can you get another GP or find a pdoc who will get you back on medications?

[Grey Matter]

None that take medicaid, no. I live in a small area. Where people are usually wealthy and/or well off, so no one helps the poor.

[shabur]

Can you talk to the NP directly and see if you can work out a reduced rate or at least get refills?

[Victoria'smom]

There is a customer care number on your card. If you call they can tell you who takes medicaid now.

[Grey Matter]

Thank you so much. I will call in the morning.

I don't know why doctors have difficulty giving out zoloft. It is not controlled. I am on the therapeutic dose for MDD. I just don't understand.

I don't know where you live, but I'm assuming it's a small town in a remote location. ?? My thought is that you need to go to an ER that is in a hospital in a metropolitan area. For example, if 911 is called where would you be taken? You are being denied access to medication that could save your life. That's unacceptable. You shouldn't have to wait any longer.

[Grey Matter]

I don't, shockingly (it really sounds that way, though). When you're poor living in a wealthy area, you may as well be secluded. I think tomorrow I am honestly just going to go to the ER and get an emergency amount of medication and honestly get myself checked out. This is horrid. I can't do anything without freezing in place and having all these horrid thoughts... It's crippling.

Yeah, you need to get meds before you're any worse off.

best of luck and let us know how you are doing. thinking of you x

[dmhobbit]

Originally Posted by Grey Matter

My therapist was an NP who worked in a practice run by an awful man. Three weeks ago, upon our session, I was called by the secretary not to come in. After asking "why?" I was informed they cut taking medicaid. Of course, the blow was horrid. She was the first therapist I've had that actually did their jobs, managed my meds with me rather than not taking my word into consideration. She understood grief, and also specialized in MDD and anxiety disorders.

I haven't had therapy in over a month.
My meds ran out the day before therapy, as that is where I was given refills.

My GP will not give me my anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication. She is against handing out psychiatric medication. Even though I have been on the same anti-depressant for over a year, with positive results.

I cannot find a psychiatrist in my area. I am running out of options. And my brain is paying for it.

In the past week, I haven't gotten out of bed. I haven't left the apartment. Showering became a challenge. I spent most days in horrid panic attacks, dealing with terrible thoughts, not sleeping, not eating. I am the living personification of "failure" at the moment. I am this horrid physical embodiment of everything evil and horrid. And I can't escape it.

My friend got me weed to help with anxiety. I haven't smoked in ages. And when I did, I just zoned out and felt too far out of myself. I have tried calming teas, meditation, my partner has given me massages that have ended in my own tears.

I was doing so, so well. I was improving so much. And now I am back where I started. Actually; I am farther back then where I started.

I have no idea what to do.

That's good you got ahold of some weed... it may help you to stay calm and relaxed. Only a small percentage of weed smokers experience *more* panic and anxiety. I'm the lucky one that has only positive results with it. I like to take some when I have some at night to sleep through the night it just causes me to not remember my dreams but most of my dreams are nightmares so would rather forget them upon waking up.

Have you checked your area for a "free mental health clinic" that might be able to dispense those meds you need to function. I know its no fun cause I've gone a whole week without meds and I was a total wreck, not taking care of myself and eating junk food and neglecting the cats sleeping mostly and not leaving the apartment due to my anxiety, but even with weed it wasn't as effective as my reliable xanax.

I'll keep you in my prayers you find a place for meds and treatment

[Nammu]

That is extremely unprofessional conduct on that office to drop you without notice and without a referral and leave you without a means of continuing on the medications they supplied. You are probably havering withdrawals from the Zoloft, it is a well known side effect. This is endangering your health and possibly making future stability harder. Call them and tell them they need to find you continuity of services and if they refuse call your local Disability Rights office and tell them you were dropped without notice and now have no way to get services or medications and are in withdrawal.

I get so sick of doctors who think nothing of ethics. Only their pockets. If they decide to drop an insurance they need to give people warnings and help with continuity of services.

Somebody mentioned in another thread having a doctor by phone. I had a pa who would talk over the phone when I couldn't get in. I'm sure you have to make the trek for the initial visit but maybe not. Since you are in a rural area perhaps there are doctors that visit sometimes. Just some ideas.

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[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Grey Matter

I don't, shockingly (it really sounds that way, though). When you're poor living in a wealthy area, you may as well be secluded. I think tomorrow I am honestly just going to go to the ER and get an emergency amount of medication and honestly get myself checked out. This is horrid. I can't do anything without freezing in place and having all these horrid thoughts... It's crippling.

That is probably the best option.

I'm a Kaiser member & Kaiser has a system where patients can email our doctors. It's an excellent system. I don't know if other health care providers use email, but certainly telephone connection can be helpful.