Like economic classes I am wondering if there is a MH class and having a disorder is the low class.

I saw the movie Gattaca on Saturday and it was like I was watching it for the first time. There you have a genetically in-superior lower class with no hope of doing anything more than washing floors. I wonder if we are so far away from that. I took a job at a place that is about as "normal" as you can get. I just want to work there for a year or two and make my escape but I wonder if I can even do that. I should have a better car but if left up to me I don't really care. Yet I feel like it is just another tell. I don't want to have a "normal" life but I just feel so depressed that I feel like such an outcast right now. I completely relate to how much the main character wanted to break every rule to do what he dreamed of and how some of that was the desire to escape.

I was at an event with one person I knew barely and two others I didn't know at all. The one I know may know there is something "wrong" with me. I left at intermission because she was sitting next to me but completely un-envolving me in the convo. She kept looking at the other people and ignoring me even though I was sitting in the middle. I tried to contribute and one of the others interrupted me. Maybe it is my hair which I have let go. (I know it is ridiculous but I feel embarrassed to go to the hairdresser.) I feel like they are so "normal" going out to music events and buying nice houses. I struggle to stay organized. I doubt I will ever be able to get a house like that. When I left there was a 420 concert outside and I liked the music so I bought a ticket and went in. I don't smoke and am older than most of the people but I felt more in place even though I was alone.

Do you think therapists have friends that have disorders? Normally I think I "look" like I fit in except for tell tale signs. I have a friend of a friend who is a T and I wonder if she kind of avoids me at events. Maybe it is my imagination. We both went (separately) to a Brenė Brown event except I went as a patient and she went as a professional. She belongs to some of the same orgs as my T. She had to have figured out I go to therapy. I also knew too much at DBT for somebody that isn't a professional. I didn't really try to hide that. Maybe I should have. Maybe it "labeled" me as somebody you want to avoid a friendship with. My friend doesn't normally include me in that group of friends except at holidays like thanksgiving. Last year I wasn't really "up" for going out but I wouldn't mind now.

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Oh my gosh...yes...I have known therapists personally who are mentally ill (to put it politely). I've never exactly "fit in"...always had a large group of dear friends (who are financially successful and all that) and they appear to be very normal - yet they certainly have their issues, mainly depression and anxiety. I have always felt very, very blessed to live in California where, in many ways, "not fitting in" IS fitting in. My social skills are very good, though. Hair? Ha! I have long, long dreadlocks. I was a SAHM when my children were growing up...I never could do the 9-5 thing. I loved being at home with my kids and they grew up to be wonderful people. I feel that being bipolar has robbed me of stamina that it seems like more normal people have. I think so MUCH energy goes into just coping, I have little energy left for doing fun things and such. I do work p/t and my work is physically demanding (I work in a wonderful, funky, old cafe). I feel VERY lucky because I am able to work the hours that are easiest for me (I work nights, after I've pretty much come out of the "med fog" of the day). I wouldn't be able to work mornings, or work f/t.

Hmm. I'm not at all sure that I've in any way answered your question. As for the woman who ignored you and spoke to others - I would tend to think she had some issue of her own going on - and that she was very rude to ignore you.

I know the therapists are individuals... Each with their own set of problems. I mean the ones that are generally healthy like my friends friend. I mean wouldn't it be a little hypocritical to avoid depressed people because they are depressed but otherwise a friendship "fit"? Or maybe I am reading too much into it because of that movie. The friend that wasn't there is a great friend. It's her friends that make me feel so unwelcome. These people are my age and single. I don't meet a lot of people in the same boat. When everyone around you has kids you tend to get left out but you learn to accept it. I think I'm a mixture of feeling like I have achieved what I could and disappointed that I wasn't treated a little better. One or the other wouldn't have convinced me to leave.

I would love to be on the "fringes" all the time (if not shopping at the mall is living in the fringes ). But I can't afford it yet. So I have to be somewhat corporate 40 hours a week and then you tend to make friends with the people you work with. I am putting up with it a couple years then moving on. Already tried doing stuff outside the corporate land but I still can't make enough just yet. It's just me paying the bills. I've pleaded with my cat to do her share but she believes her presence is more than enough. I have relied on some sort of retail all my working life. Full time when I was young. Part time when I need the income. 18 months is about all I can do in customer service and I'm done. My day job is analytical which I like. No OT anymore and 10 minutes away. I figure that is not a bad compromise.

I also have this theory that many women can't be in a friendship of three women. Witches of eastwick is a total lie or maybe not. They did kind of mess with each other didn't they. Maybe that's it.

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LOL, I know JUST how you feel - not ONE of my nine cats will agree to seek gainful employment!

I do think it would by hypocritical of a therapist to avoid people with mental illness. It frankly annoys me when people have that kind of attitude.

Women in friendships of 3...very interesting question to me, because I come from a family of three sisters (I am the youngest). I also have life-long girlfriends who are friends with (or know) each other. When I stop and really think about it, yes...oftentimes it does seem that three women together can cause a feeling of static. Seems like most times one of the three women feels less accepted in the group.

Seems like a pattern I have noticed since childhood and I don't think I am perfect by any means but I don't think I am always the "problem maker". So that's my theory. Geez that's a lot if cats! I have one. She likes being the only one so there won't be another.

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Yep...some of the cats were my childrens' then the kids left for college and Mom got the cats. But I love them all.

[onionknight]

If someone is ignoring you, they are being rude and probably reflects the fact that they need to exclude you to feel more in control/ dominant.

I've been ignored a lot of my life, like I don't exist. Sometimes I wonder if it is because people can tell I am different, or if I just don't always go out of my way to be a part of groups. It makes me somewhat sad that I don't make friends easily. I wish I was more at ease, but due to my history with trauma and other problems, I worry about boundaries, being turned down, letting people know me too well, being uninteresting.

Thank you for your support. I'm not sure leaving at intermission isn't rude either. Why couldn't I suck it up? The play was good. I was definitely dealing with my own regret that she has no responsibility for also. I know that I can't handle being as busy as other people and I am ok with that. The problem is getting them to understand that doesn't mean I want to hibernate all the time. Comes in waves.

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[PoorPrincess]

I just wanted to say a thank you to Sister Rags for saying
"I think it takes so MUCH energy goes into just coping.". Yes. This.

Thank you.

You're so welcome, PoorPrincess. The energy drain of mental illness is a sad, sad aspect of it.