[Nat92]

I kind of need some advice, if there is any. I just really need to vent this.

I live at home with my brother and both parents. My sister moved out when she was 18 to live with her boyfriend. I've planned to move out so many times, but something always get's in the way, be it helping my parents or other family members financially or illness within the family etc. Something always keeps me here. Anyway, my background is quite messy, bullying, and depression. I was always the sensitive one, the weak one, the easily persuaded one. I suffered because of how nice and kind and caring and giving I've been.

But I feel like I need to just stop it now. Both my parents are stressed to the bone, my brother is lazy, he doesn't help out at all, he complains when he does and throws a temper tantrum, he's 19, he get's money from the government, but spends it all before a week as passed after payday and comes begging for money. He smokes, it really pisses me off that he shows so little consideration for the loss of our grandparents, they both died from lung cancer due to smoking. My parents have given up, they cut him slack every time he's wronged them. My sister comes in, disrupts my parenting of him when I try to be the adult.

I try my best to ease the stress put on my parents, I try to keep it all together for them. I clean the house every day, do my part because heck, it makes sense? I live here, I use the dishes, I help out as much as possible. Yet, I feel like my efforts are wasted. My relationship with my sister is terrible, but we can talk civilized. She tries, but in the wrong way. She's very controlling, very demanding and extremely opinionated and got a streak of narcissism. She's allowed to yell when something concerns her, but tells others to hush when they got something to vent.

Just today my parents weren't supposed to drive, wasting gas on little trips downtown, but my brother decided he and his GF needed to go there and I then said that they should get home by themselves. Of course my sister barges in and says it's a waste of money for them, although my dad drives them quite often, picking up my brother at his GF etc. He doesn't pay for the gas, he doesn't pay for the food he eats, leaving nothing for the rest of us, he doesn't pay for the window he broke, which is still broken. He steals money, bottles for recycling. He lies to save his own *** and I'm pretty sure he isn't saving up for a drivers license.

I really don't know what to do. I feel so lost and I feel like this is an endless circle. I really feel like Cinderella before she met her prince.

I try so hard to make things work, to change things at home. I try to remind everyone that they play a part too, that the state of the house is up to them, that if we help each other, it wouldn't be such a burden.

I do want to move out, but I just can't right now. I don't have a dime to my name, I don't have the resources and it'd just be yet another problematic event for my parents. With my sister being pregnant and them thinking about moving yet again, I just think it's best to wait.

Sigh, well my rant is over.

Thank you for reading this far.

[CANDC]

I am not sure what kind of advice you are requesting, but I am impressed with how responsible you are. You are building a basis for managing your own life even if you are not ready to move out.

Defining a safe place where you can be and have your own space is important. Don't worry what other members do in your family, keep yourself out of the fray as much as possible.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Nat92]

Originally Posted by CANDC

I am not sure what kind of advice you are requesting, but I am impressed with how responsible you are. You are building a basis for managing your own life even if you are not ready to move out.

Defining a safe place where you can be and have your own space is important. Don't worry what other members do in your family, keep yourself out of the fray as much as possible.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

Not sure if this is an automated message, but if it's not, without sounding rude, I'd suggest reading my thread again.

[CANDC]

Not sure if this is an automated message, but if it's not, without sounding rude, I'd suggest reading my thread again.

No this is not an automated message. I am sorry if I missed the point of your post. There are times that I read a post and am not sure how to reply as a volunteer at Psych Central so I try my best. For more specific professional advice it would be wise to choose a therapist or psychiatrist who could guide you through the situation.