First off, back in my country it's somewhat common to see a lot of sick and mentally-disabled people (I don't want to mention). On my dad's side of my family (only up to grandparents), my grandmother had bad health. It's been passed on to my dad, and I don't know if anything has been passed on to me. I don't know much of my family's medical history.

I've read certain columns, including PS's, about autism and Asperger's syndrome. I don't believe I have Asperger's (or any) syndrome, but I do fit most of the symptoms that they mention (based off Psychcentral):

1.) One of my big problems: avoidance of eye-contact, even with friends (One time, a policeman was talking to me. Right in front of him, my eyes kept darting to his shoes and the tree behind him.)
2.) Speech problems, even though I talk fast, sometimes I accidentally slur my words, then I have to stop talking and recollect my thoughts.
3.) I lose interest in most things I used/was forced to enjoy.
4.) I don't display a lot of emotions. There were a couple of times when my friends said I am heartless because I don't react to some people's deaths, for ex.
5.) I do tend to be obsessive over specific things like music and pencils (I don't know why about pencils), but then, everyone does so this is not a problem.
6.) I always have a habit of shaking my right thigh a lot, usually when I'm nervous, too still, or in deep thought. I remember it being a bad habit in middle school and it was embarassing to be caught by friends. I still do it, and I always have to stop myself.
7.) I can't strike even a line of words with strangers that I don't approve of or that I can't find a good topic with. My parents think I'm always being stupid being mute almost everywhere I go, even at parties.
8.) When someone's telling me directions for an assignment and such, I have to concentrate twice as hard to understand them or I'll forget it in the next three hours.
9.) I feel stupid for not being able to do simple things, I know my inner self is screaming the right things at me but this outer shell is stuck in time or something. One time at a party, my friend's mom was asking me to get her bag for her. There was only one bag behind this chair, but I was stupid enough to say, "Is this it? Is this the bag you're looking for? Is this right?" I wanted to give it to her but I was just standing there.

I don't know if these symptoms are true. Do I have any mental disorder (besides depression and anxiety)? I'm not trying to attract attention, but I just want an honest opinion and tell me if I should be concerned or not worry about it.

[shezbut]

I believe that going in to see a pDoc would be most appropriate.

I'm sure that you know that we cannot diagnose anyone. We may have lots of experience with symptoms and various treatments, but that's not the same. Sorry!

Gentle hugs wished your way.

[wing]

You've written an excellent list covering the things that bother you. I'd print it and take it to the doctor with you.

[Rapunzel]

Hi Lucky. Nice to meet you!

You sound like a smart person, with good insight, and sincere about wanting to understand yourself better. I think that you deserve to have answers to your questions. While this isn't a place where you can get a diagnosis, you can see if you relate to others here and if some of your experiences are like some of ours. It can be a place to start. You mentioned that you have also done some reading, and I think that's a good thing too.

I do want to ask you why you want to know about what disorders you might have. I ask you that because people have different reasons. There are people who are just curious, or feel like it would be cool to have something like someone else does - maybe a celebrity or someone else who seems to have something going for them. A few people want an explanation or an excuse. Some want help. There are also people who don't want any kind of label at all, and some don't want to admit that they have any kind of issues. So, if you found out that you did have an autistic spectrum disorder, or anything else, what would that mean for you? What would you do with that information? Who would you tell? How would you want them to respond? Would you change any of the things that you do?

I'm also wondering what kind of support system you have. Do your parents support you in getting treatment or an assessment or help if you need it? Do you have other people in your life who are helpful or supportive? Are you interested in getting help?

So, you have asked about whether you might have some form of autism. Some of the things on your list do sound like they could be symptoms of autism, while others sound like something else most likely. In any case, for someone to give you a diagnosis they need to consider all of the possibilities and what alternative explanations might account for the symptoms you present. It is also important to remember that everybody is different, so it is never really going to match up perfectly. Diagnoses really only give us a shortcut way of describing what types of symptoms you have. First of all, you are you, not a diagnosis.

One more thing: autistic or asperger's traits tend to look different for girls than they do for boys. Here is a list of asperger's traits in girls, and one person's comments on how she relates to those things: Aspergers Traits In Girls | WillowHope - Aspergers Syndrome Blogger

I'll also tell you a little bit about me. I hope that helps. I have Asperger's Syndrome, as well as other things too like depression and anxiety (mostly social anxiety but also PTSD). Growing up, I always knew that I was different, but everybody expected me to be normal and I didn't see any other choice than to try my best to act normal. I wasn't quite good enough at it to make everyone happy, but I was too good at it for anyone to recognize that I needed help with some things. I do relate to a lot of the things on your list. I can make eye contact when I try to. If I'm not trying, it probably won't happen. The way that I communicate can be different, and I have a hard time getting people to understand what I'm trying to say sometimes. Communicating is much harder if I don't know the person or people I'm trying to interact with, or if the situation is out of my comfort zone. Especially in my other languages which I have studied pretty well, but trying to say something just makes my brain lock up sometimes. I can't remember directions for more than a couple of steps at a time without forgetting something or messing it up somehow. Lots of things seem like they should be really easy, but I worry about getting it right sometimes to the point that I just freeze (not sure if that is an autistic trait or just the result of never feeling like anyone thought that I was good enough). I don't show the extent of emotions that I feel. I pretty much always look calm, but inside I might be screaming or exploding or crying. But I feel emotions very strongly - I just don't usually show it.

Some of the things on your list might just as easily be depression, social phobia, or even just a normal part of human development. But that is true of just about anything. To a certain extent, it might be normal, developmental, or a different disorder.

Anyway, I was a good student and got good grades although I didn't always understand why I needed to turn in homework or even do assignments that seemed to me a waste of time. I still took honors classes and graduated in the top 10% of my high school class. I have been rejected from graduate school and jobs because my social skills didn't seem normal. But I eventually did earn a master's degree and I am a licensed therapist. I became a therapist before I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (just a couple of years ago). Before that, they just thought that I had social anxiety, depression, and maybe a personality disorder, etc. Asperger's makes the most sense to me though.

And a little bit about autism and Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's syndrome is basically a milder form of autism, but the only difference is that people with Asperger's begin talking around the normal time, while people with autism don't start talking until later. People with autism can have any level of intellectual functioning - low, average, high. Asperger's people generally have normal or high intelligence. This year the system that we use to identify mental health disorders is changing, and there will be no more Asperger's. People who have Asperger's syndrome now are grouped with autism - mild, moderate, or severe. There are a few other related disorders that have just some of the symptoms but not all of them.

Anyway, keep on reading to find out more about these disorders and see if you relate, if it seems to explain anything for you, etc. Pay attention to the success stories and what helped other people to do well with the disorders that they had, whether or not they knew it. And talk to your parents. Tell them what you are thinking and what you want to do about it. There is treatment and support if you do have a type of autism. I wish that I had known about it sooner than I did. But don't let it limit you. Knowing how your brain is wired means that you can find a way to make it work for you. It's not all bad. We have gifts and talents too.