[shbbybnny]

I am on a campaign to find help for my son and need some questions answered first. My son is 23 years old and recently on going through some old school papers of his, I came across a journal of drawings that he did in school. All the drawings are happy until one week he drew two pictures that were extremely disturbing. They were very violent and bloody. The first picture had a sentence under it that said "The bad man came into our house" and the second picture said "The boogey man crawled out from under my bed".
After that no more drawings like these, but in the past five years he has been displaying a lot of anger, emotional detachment, saying he doesn't remember any of his childhood and that he had a terrible childhood. He seems to be angry at everyone in the family, us as his parents, his sister, his grandparents, etc.
He has had problems with pornography since we first caught him at the age of 16. He also has extreme headaches and severe depression that seem to manifest themselves with an emotional detachment.
If something happened to him and he doesn't remember or chooses not to remember, and he won't go to a therapist, how can I help him? I have an idea according to the dates of when he made the drawings of some possibilities, but I have no way of proving it since he was 6 at the time of the drawings and it was so long ago. Please, any advice would be appreciated!!!!

[kaliope]

hi shbbybnny
well it certainly sounds like he could benefit from therapy. perhaps talking with him about your concerns and what you have found, what you suspect, how therapy could help him could convince him to go. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[shabur]

I would suggest talking to a therapist to see what options you have and how you might go about getting him the help he needs.

Also, it sounds like he is pretty angry. Has he threatened to harm anyone or himself? If so, you have the ability, and the obligation, to force treatment. He may hate you now, but if all goes well he will be grateful you stepped in to help him.

Good Luck!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by shbbybnny

I am on a campaign to find help for my son and need some questions answered first. My son is 23 years old and recently on going through some old school papers of his, I came across a journal of drawings that he did in school. All the drawings are happy until one week he drew two pictures that were extremely disturbing. They were very violent and bloody. The first picture had a sentence under it that said "The bad man came into our house" and the second picture said "The boogey man crawled out from under my bed".
After that no more drawings like these, but in the past five years he has been displaying a lot of anger, emotional detachment, saying he doesn't remember any of his childhood and that he had a terrible childhood. He seems to be angry at everyone in the family, us as his parents, his sister, his grandparents, etc.
He has had problems with pornography since we first caught him at the age of 16. He also has extreme headaches and severe depression that seem to manifest themselves with an emotional detachment.
If something happened to him and he doesn't remember or chooses not to remember, and he won't go to a therapist, how can I help him? I have an idea according to the dates of when he made the drawings of some possibilities, but I have no way of proving it since he was 6 at the time of the drawings and it was so long ago. Please, any advice would be appreciated!!!!

Unfortunately there isnt anything you can do. you said in your post he is 23, well legally that means he is the only one that can make decisions of what to do about his past, present and future life, his problems.

the only way a parent can do anything about what their over 18 year old children is if a court has granted you guardianship over him due to his being dangerous (suicidal, homicidal...) or it has otherwise been proven in a court of law that he is incapable of taking care of himself.

unless you have guardianship all you can do is wait for him to come to you and ask your help with his problems.

looking through his papers and finding some negatives in the midst of positive drawings /statements...we cant make a diagnosis but I can tell you for some people doing this is completely normal. example when I have a bad day I tend to write or paint gloomy monsters and such and when I have a great day my drawings reflect happy cheerful themes. when I shared this with my treatment providers they told me its not a mental disorder or sign of something happening to draw and write negative stuff in the midst of positive drawings/statements. Human beings have a brain that is capable of thinking drawing writing both fiction and non fiction and use their imaginations and emotions to draw/write /express their self. just because I draw a monster doesnt always mean Im drawing a problem or something from my childhood trauma's.

Today I was visiting an elementary School due to a report of abuse on a child. when I looked at the childs drawings well she didnt draw monsters or representations of her abuse/abusers. she drew a monster with large teeth because that was the assignment the teacher gave them...to draw a monster with large teeth.

I know someone who draws monsters as a career.nothing happened to him in his childhood. he had a very happy go lucky childhood. he was just messing around one day and discovered he could draw creatures that were unique.

my point is these pictures/writings you found could mean just about anything from normal to the abnormal, it could have been based on his feelings or a school assignment, or even just messing around.

if he cant or doesnt want to tell you why he drew those pictures the only thing you can do is treat it like a creative picture made by your son. theres nothing else to do about it since he isnt a child anymore.