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BubonicPlague
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Chat Nov 09, 2014 at 10:41 AM
  #1
This is just something I've noticed amongst kids at my high school. I don't know if other people do this in the adult world, but it's something I've strongly noted in my "people"(damn, adolescents and teens can be such brats sometimes).

I would tell them that I am having a hard time doing something because of one of my mental health issues, and then they would say, "Oh, I have that too." or "Yeah, I've was like that before."

I'll give you a few examples:

One girl (a cheerleader that I knew about) who was in my biology class in sophomore year claimed she had ADHD. I saw her sitting perfectly still, wasn't fidgeting, staring straight at the projected screen while going over our lectures, and was raising her hand several times to get answers right.

Later she gets out of class and says, "I wasn't even paying attention."

Question: How were you not paying attention?

You were actively participating throughout our class, and you seemed quite focused when we were taking notes.

Second girl (actually I think she was a woman), very cheery for someone who told me that she goes through depression. Wha-, I mean, how? Do you even know what depression is?

I swear I've met several people already met who say that they have ADHD, depression, or some other disorder.

It's like they take it as a joke. In a way I understand that they are trying to show that they have been through the same thing (even though I'm pretty sure that they're just confused or ignorant), but it really disappoints me when I find out they have nothing in common with me.
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Default Nov 09, 2014 at 10:49 AM
  #2
My daughter is 21. When she was a teen I noticed her and her friends saying they were bi polar. "I swear I am bi polar." My daughter did have some very real problems with depression but she never said it in that context. I think they were trying to describe normal teenage moodiness. There is less stigma and it is talked about in schools now so it doesn't surprise me that more people use the terms.

I don't like how depression is way over diagnosed and way over prescribed. The term is used way to broadly I think. When I think of depression it is something very severe and serious. That is my experience with it though.

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Default Nov 09, 2014 at 11:00 AM
  #3
I work with adolescents. I've seen a trend to call typical changes in mood "bipolar." When I hear it it's usually used as an excuse to explain unacceptable behavior.

A couple of years ago there was a trend locally for teens to "diagnose" themselves with DID. They never saw a pdoc, just decided they had DID because of mood changes during the day.

In my experience it isn't just teens who do this. Parents of active young boys will decide the child has ADHD because he is a typical active little boy. I've been accused by co-workers of being OCD because I want my paperwork to be accurate. I'm not OCD. I just want my paperwork to be correct.
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Default Nov 09, 2014 at 11:22 AM
  #4
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Originally Posted by lizardlady View Post
I work with adolescents. I've seen a trend to call typical changes in mood "bipolar." When I hear it it's usually used as an excuse to explain unacceptable behavior.

A couple of years ago there was a trend locally for teens to "diagnose" themselves with DID. They never saw a pdoc, just decided they had DID because of mood changes during the day.

In my experience it isn't just teens who do this. Parents of active young boys will decide the child has ADHD because he is a typical active little boy. I've been accused by co-workers of being OCD because I want my paperwork to be accurate. I'm not OCD. I just want my paperwork to be correct.
For someone who has experienced OCD, I for one can tell you that OCD is not all about being organized or cleanly. Those things you are actually doing to prevent something bad from happening. I used to clap my hands and then rub them together whenever I had a bad flashback appear in my head, and that happened several times throughout the day. With meds I stopped doing that, and eventually I just got over it. I have even had racing thoughts in my head that prevented me from doing school work, and had worries about things that I couldn't control.

THAT is what OCD really is.
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Default Nov 09, 2014 at 12:14 PM
  #5
The good thing...people are starting to take notice of mental health struggles and being open about it - hopefully getting understanding and help to make life better.

The bad thing - being labeled with anything. It's one thing to talk about symptoms/behavior (and not everyone has the same symptoms) - but you are not the label. Individuals are being labeled way too much - and sometime the professional is wrong!

It's about how you learn to overcome your symptoms or how to make life more manageable. It can be an explaination for your behavior instead of an excuse - learning to change is the most important thing.

And yet - some will be open about discussing their "label" because they can identify with other's struggles - and want to be understanding or understood.

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Default Nov 10, 2014 at 01:11 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubonicPlague View Post
This is just something I've noticed amongst kids at my high school. I don't know if other people do this in the adult world, but it's something I've strongly noted in my "people"(damn, adolescents and teens can be such brats sometimes).

I would tell them that I am having a hard time doing something because of one of my mental health issues, and then they would say, "Oh, I have that too." or "Yeah, I've was like that before."

I'll give you a few examples:

One girl (a cheerleader that I knew about) who was in my biology class in sophomore year claimed she had ADHD. I saw her sitting perfectly still, wasn't fidgeting, staring straight at the projected screen while going over our lectures, and was raising her hand several times to get answers right.

Later she gets out of class and says, "I wasn't even paying attention."

Question: How were you not paying attention?

You were actively participating throughout our class, and you seemed quite focused when we were taking notes.

Second girl (actually I think she was a woman), very cheery for someone who told me that she goes through depression. Wha-, I mean, how? Do you even know what depression is?

I swear I've met several people already met who say that they have ADHD, depression, or some other disorder.

It's like they take it as a joke. In a way I understand that they are trying to show that they have been through the same thing (even though I'm pretty sure that they're just confused or ignorant), but it really disappoints me when I find out they have nothing in common with me.
not to discount your experience but I know some people who are ADHD and some dont are medicated so they are able to sit still, raise their hands and because they know the material (memorized at home with extra study time and tutoring by parents and other instructions) are able to sit in class quietly thinking about other things/not paying attention but still participate. Some ADHD 's that I know have whats called a photographic memory where even though their diagnosis is ADHD they can still participate in class, just like a normal person does. here in NY ADHD and ADD are called the "hidden problems" because they are not always textbook style. some people even reach college before they even get their diagnosis of ADHD because they have learned how to hide the problem areas really well.

also there are many types of depression, not all depression shows itself with extreme sadness all the time. theres SAD (seasonal Affective disorder which is a type of depression that only shows symptoms during that persons affected season ie some people have Seassonal affective disorder symptoms in winter others spring others summer....) theres also a type of depression called bipolar disorder where a person cycles through being manic, hypomanic, depression...this type of depression isnt the kind where the person is always sad and down in the dumps.

my point is looks can be deceiving. just because someone doesnt look or appear to have the mental disorder they claim to have does not mean they dont have it. it just means at that moment their symptoms are under control or being masked or they have learned how to adapt to appear as normal as possible.

An example of adapting would be me. I dont appear to have bipolar disorder, MS, Dissociative disorders, PTSD because I am on medications that keep my symptoms in control. The first sign that my meds are not working as they should I see my treatment providers. A co worker and I happened to run into each other at a support group not too long ago. she was absolutely floored when she saw me because she had no idea, in her words "but you look and act so normal?!"

Another example of adapting/not appearing to have a mental disorder is read the posts here on psych central everyone at one time or another has posted how someone they know found out they had a mental disorder and was shocked or didnt believe them because they seemed so normal on the outside.

short of being someones treatment provider there is no way to know whether someone is or isnt mental disorderd just based on how someone looks, behaves or talks. Here where I live and work we have a nami office that does many different community awareness workshops, seminars and groups to help educate the public on mental disorders and not continuing discrimination/stigmatizing or not believing someone who may or may not have a mental disorder based on how they look, behave or what they say. These events have really helped my family and friends in understanding I may look/appear normal but that doesnt mean sometimes Im not stuggling on the inside with my mental and physical illnesses and need their support/help at times.
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Default Nov 10, 2014 at 04:36 AM
  #7
Dear Bubonic,

The behaviour you have pointed out not only applies to mental illnesses / conditions but in my experience, people abuse the physical injuries and conditions as well. The motives are various and equally condemnable. Most of the times, it is an attempt to seek attention from others; At other times, it is a timid attempt at glory to prove that they achieved something despite the physical or mental challenge they had, so their accomplishments are bigger and better in that way. In other cases, people blame their conditions for not being able to do something, just to cover up their failures.

It is difficult to make such people realise what they are doing. At the end of the day, they do not get anything but they damage the trust and general courtesy amongst other people. They make others more sceptical and cautious whilst dealing with people who have physical or mental conditions and as a result, people who genuinely deserve a concession or more appreciation for failing or achieving something, do not get these or get these with a delay.
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Default Nov 10, 2014 at 05:04 AM
  #8
At university I hear things like, "I'm depressed" (said in a totally nonchalant way), "I'm so OCD", "If [something], I'm going to kill myself", jokes about being raped by an exam... that's kids for you. If I hear someone mention suicide, I take it seriously, and they nearly always say they're joking. And I'm sure I've come across people giving themselves the diagnosis of the day (bipolar, ADHD, OCD...). But there are people on campus with all of these conditions or traumatic experiences... how do they feel? I'm guessing most of them stay silent.
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Default Nov 10, 2014 at 07:24 AM
  #9
People like to pathologize ANY sort of behavior that is even a tiny bit off. Sadly, this doesn't happen just in the general public, but in the psych community as well. I have a friend who feels like he can't do anything in front of his treatment team because no matter what his behavior is, they will say it is a symptom of his disorder. He can't be angry because that is "proof" of his diagnosis (which he disputes). He can't get excited, he can't get sad. These are NORMAL human emotions but it seems like anything outside of "perfect" is considered to be a disorder. Its really sad that people don't understand that its not a disorder unless it interferes with normal human functioning. That is, normal people get sad, excited, etc. It does NOT mean you have a disorder!
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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 11:24 AM
  #10
All the time. And almost always in a derogatory sense...people aren't argumentative these days they're psychopaths, or they're not house proud they have OCD. Teenage mood swings have been replaced by bipolar disorder and a bad day is seen as a depressive episode. It's so wrong. Not only does it detract from the real cases of adult/teenage mental illness etc. but it just adds to the stigma in a more subversive way.

There seems to be a tendency to over-exaggerate these days anyway - be it on social media or in the school/working environment. Maybe this is just an extension of that. I'm sure there are people who would argue that to raise awareness there are usually unfortunate draw backs - people aren't afraid to use these words any more, there seems less overall shame but the correct use of these terms needs working on.
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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 11:53 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post

my point is looks can be deceiving. just because someone doesnt look or appear to have the mental disorder they claim to have does not mean they dont have it. it just means at that moment their symptoms are under control or being masked or they have learned how to adapt to appear as normal as possible.
Exactly. While I'm sure you do have a point with mental health terms being overused by people who don't actually have them, sometimes people are crying out for help but not being believed because they don't appear to have such and such an illness.

For example, I once told a registrar that I had been feeling very depressed again, her reply, " you don't look depressed" I mean how exactly does one look depressed anyway?

Another example, no one buy my therapist ever believed I had eating issues, simply because I wasn't "thin enough" so I didn't deserve help with the fact that I was starving myself constantly, because it didn't "look" like I was?

No one, outside my parents, even knows I have schizophrenia, and no one would ever guess, because as one psych said, I have a mild form and respond well to treatment. The one time I ever told someone, their reply was "no you don't" so yeah, I haven't told anyone since. What would be the point?

So yeah, I appreciate what you're saying, but things aren't always as rosy as they appear to be. I suffered with depression for years before anyone ever knew, when I told my mam she just laughed. The rest of my family only found out because I ended up in hospital, even while in there an ot said I put in this act of entertaining my visitors so they would think I was fine.

Some people find it easy to talk abut this kind of stuff, but some of us don't, especially when we try to and are just brushed off or made out as attention seeking.

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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 12:29 PM
  #12
Also, I was recently told that I always pretend things are worse than they are, which isn't true, I say things as they are, that's all. In fact I usually try to see the positive or funny side of things. This person had never actually met me, so how could she know how bad or good things in my life "really" are? I mean yes I'm a but if a drama queen, but this is the same person who also recently said that no one has suffered as much as she has. So obviously she's lived everyone else's life to be able to know that.

And you know, not everyone who is ill has a diagnosis, cos some people are too scared or ashamed to ask for help. I have diagnosis' but I still feel I'm wasting valuable medical time with my "problems" before I even saw this thread I was already wondering if I was just attention seeking when I asked for help. Which I only did because I'd been threatened to, but this isn't a thread about me so I'll say no more. Sorry to go on. I'm not arguing with anyone, I'm just pointing out the other possible side of it.

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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 12:36 PM
  #13
@the OP

It's just proof that only experienced MH professionals are qualified to diagnose someone. And even they are sometimes wrong.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing for people to self-diagnose. Some of them are probably just trying to be honest about problems they see in themselves.

One of my own T's would sometimes jokingly refer to his OCD or his ADHD, etc.

Last edited by shakespeare47; Nov 11, 2014 at 01:53 PM..
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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 02:28 PM
  #14
I suffer from depression. I have the whole works, sui thoughts, SH, negative thinking, my house is a pig sty as I can't motivate myself or have the energy to clean it, I also have anxiety, dissociate, come out of the supermarket and sit in my car and cry as it is so overwhelming for me, I struggle to maintain any social relationships. But I somehow manage to hide it from everyone - I have sat in the bathroom at work head in my hands trying to contain myself and focus on my work.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that I get that some people use these labels as a way of describing themselves in a light hearted way "I'm a little bipolar today" sort of comment and that may be demeaning to those who have that diagnosis - but for some just because they look OK doesn't mean that underneath everything is OK.

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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 02:40 PM
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@OP...You are correct that people use mental health terms indiscriminately. From teens to older adults, I have heard many, many people claim to have bipolar diagnoses and other disorders. I can usually tell if they truly have that and have been diagnosed or they are just trying to claim it as their problem. For the life of me I don't know why anyone would want to have that label put on themselves for any reason other than immaturity or just plain old ignorance.

Worse than that to me are people that label others as "bipolar" because the person may be difficult, confrontational or emotional in their eyes. That is clearly ignorant when most of them have no idea what the hell they are talking about! I have a long lost cousin I recently spoke to and she stated that this person and another were bipolar, manic and or psychotic. She just did not like them and could not get along with them so they are "bipolar". Most of these issues are just plain old ignorance based. Just my opinion.
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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by ForeverLonelyGirl View Post

Worse than that to me are people that label others as "bipolar" because the person may be difficult, confrontational or emotional in their eyes. That is clearly ignorant when most of them have no idea what the hell they are talking about! I have a long lost cousin I recently spoke to and she stated that this person and another were bipolar, manic and or psychotic. She just did not like them and could not get along with them so they are "bipolar". Most of these issues are just plain old ignorance based. Just my opinion.
I have a cousin who I have heard on a few occasions refer to people she doesn't like as "schizos" which is just lovely for me to hear considering I am actually diagnosed with schizophrenia. She even said it about someone who abused a child. Like that was nice to be compared to. I wish I was strong enough to "come out" and set her straight but I'm not. I don't trust her to keep it to herself and my family all think I'm weird enough as it is.

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Default Nov 11, 2014 at 08:19 PM
  #17
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Originally Posted by BubonicPlague View Post
This is just something I've noticed amongst kids at my high school. I don't know if other people do this in the adult world, but it's something I've strongly noted in my "people"(damn, adolescents and teens can be such brats sometimes).

I would tell them that I am having a hard time doing something because of one of my mental health issues, and then they would say, "Oh, I have that too." or "Yeah, I've was like that before."

I'll give you a few examples:

One girl (a cheerleader that I knew about) who was in my biology class in sophomore year claimed she had ADHD. I saw her sitting perfectly still, wasn't fidgeting, staring straight at the projected screen while going over our lectures, and was raising her hand several times to get answers right.

Later she gets out of class and says, "I wasn't even paying attention."

Question: How were you not paying attention?

You were actively participating throughout our class, and you seemed quite focused when we were taking notes.

Second girl (actually I think she was a woman), very cheery for someone who told me that she goes through depression. Wha-, I mean, how? Do you even know what depression is?

I swear I've met several people already met who say that they have ADHD, depression, or some other disorder.

It's like they take it as a joke. In a way I understand that they are trying to show that they have been through the same thing (even though I'm pretty sure that they're just confused or ignorant), but it really disappoints me when I find out they have nothing in common with me.
I am sure that some kids just use it as a bad adjective, but that doesn't mean they're faking.

ADHDers do not all fidget, if you are the primarily inattentive type. Its the quiet ADD kids that often don't get treated because they're spacey, but not getting on anyone's nerves.

And I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the kids with depression IS depressed. Being a teen is hard. Many of them have problems at home.

I think it is more worthwhile to take kids seriously and keep an open mind, at least at first. We all know the sinking feeling of someone who just throws around at you, "oh yeah, i have that too." Which is part of the reason people keep these things to themselves, generally.
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