[20oney]

I have a good life at the moment, I went through a tough few years a while ago, but life is good now.
But yet I feel down. I don't know why. I've never talked to anyone ever about anything that I have struggled with. I conceal it all, it's easier that way. Less judgment, less mess. Just sweep it under the rug.
I Donno. I kind of wish I had someone to stand with me through it all.
Is that all I need to pick me back up? Someone to talk to.
I struggle with confrontation. So finding someone and even bringing up a conversation, makes me anxious just thinking about it. And who would I even turn to.
Meh

[sideblinded]

((20oney))

I know how you feel. I sometimes wish I had someone in my life as well but sometimes and more so than other times I just as soon stay to myself. I am getting older and staying home isn't so bad. I get anxious, too. I find that being around others sometimes makes me more anxious but sometimes it quells my anxiety.

I am trying to get out more and meet new people. It isn't comfortable but I force myself and afterwards I feel much better. We are social beings and when we go against that I think our lives suffer.

I hope that you can try to talk to others and face the uneasiness. It will help you in the long run. Best wishes and Happy New Year

[avlady]

I also wish i had more friends, but with my mental illness, i try not to get close to anyone because of it. I am unreliable, sad, emotionally insecure and not stable enough to keep a good relationship going. Maybe i can go to a social club or something like that and you can too. Well good luck and happy new year.

[Ripose]

20oney, I have some of the same thoughts as you but with me I don't know if having friends would help me since I trust nobody. Far too often I have said something in confidence to another and very quickly it seems as if everyone knows my problem(s).
I have my wife but I can't even trust her since I know she tells her friends and family whatever is going on with me.
It is incredible that I can't find one person who will keep what I share with them private, it seems EVERYONE is a gossiper these days.
So like you I keep virtually everything to myself and at times that is very difficult to do. I feel that holding everything in is only making me more unstable. The only things I let show are on this website, PC has become my only friend.

[20oney]

I have got people, friends, family. I Donno. I just feel so isolated and alone. Like I have all these people, but I can't open up to them, I'm not comfortable to. I just wish I had someone to talk to. Someone to just sit with me, or ask the questions. I Donno.

[avlady]

I especially need someone up with me in the middle of the night, fat chance on that although, i cant even find a weekday friend besides my counselor