[Ryan358]

I've been telling my parents for a while how I suffer from horrible social anxiety, but lately they're convinced I'm autistic. I don't know what to do, because it's getting on my nerves. The way they're talking to me and everything as if I have aspergers.

And they made a new years resolution to stop eating gluten (so we don't have any more gluten food in the house)... I'm convinced it's because of me, because of the whole gluten and autism subject. I actually want to be gluten free, so I'm not opposed to it... but it's the idea of what might be behind the decision that makes me really mad.

I don't know what to do, and it's really making me suffer, because now I'm doubting myself with everything I do because I can't get the idea out of my head.

[kaliope]

so why dont you offer to go get evaluated? you seem to be having issues with social anxiety so it may be helpful for you to talk about that to somebody. then the issue would be settled once and for all.

[Ryan358]

Originally Posted by kaliope

so why dont you offer to go get evaluated? you seem to be having issues with social anxiety so it may be helpful for you to talk about that to somebody. then the issue would be settled once and for all.

Because now I'm very paranoid... what if I am? I wouldn't want my parents to know, because that would be really embarrassing and would mean that they won, and once they know for sure i am then they'll treat me even worse and stuff. I really don't think i am... but just the possibility scares me.

If there was a way of finding out first, without my parents knowing, that would be so much better. But I'm 17 and I still live with them.

Is there really no way to get diagnosed online? Any online psychiatrists or something?

[-jimi-]

I'm on the high end of the autism spectrum, and I've always been me, before and after diagnosis. Having this is not the end at all.

The problem is rather it seems your parents decided there is something wrong with you (they target you, scapegoating), and that is a horrific feeling which comes with fear and entrapment.

A possible diagnosis should not be used as a weapon against the child. That is so very wrong.

[emory_]

Originally Posted by Ryan358

Because now I'm very paranoid... what if I am? I wouldn't want my parents to know, because that would be really embarrassing and would mean that they won, and once they know for sure i am then they'll treat me even worse and stuff. I really don't think i am... but just the possibility scares me.

If there was a way of finding out first, without my parents knowing, that would be so much better. But I'm 17 and I still live with them.

Is there really no way to get diagnosed online? Any online psychiatrists or something?

There's a chance you can get a diagnosis without having to tell your parents, but that decision is unfortunately left up to your doctor after he meets you. He or she will decide after meeting and evaluating you whether or not telling your parents and including them in any treatment plan would be detrimental to your health or wellbeing. If they decide that telling your parents would be bad for you (if you explained why it would be bad to your doctor, he/she might see your point and decide that your parents don't need to be included in your treatment), they don't have to do so. If you feel as though you can't get evaluated without your parents because of cost, it might be harder to avoid what you don't want. In some circumstances, you may be able go to the doctor by yourself if you're really trying to make sure they don't know any possible diagnosis you could receive.

Have you tried to talk to your parents about the way their actions are making you feel? I can imagine that them trying to claim you have autism is frustrating, not because autism is inherently negative, but because your parents treating you differently than expected is maddening. Talking to parents is hard, but if you have reasonable parents who would possible listen to what you say, I would suggest trying it.

I hope things become easier for you soon, good luck with everything.

[Rose76]

Everyone and their brother is handing out psych diagnoses these days. It's gotten way out of hand, and your parents have jumped onto the bandwagon. I don't blame you being disgusted with their response. You kind of opened the door to this when you used the term "social anxiety." That, too, is a psych diagnosis.

It's best to leave the labels to the doctors, who are the only ones (IMHO) who have the training and experience to use them wisely. (I am also totally opposed to therapists coming up with diagnoses.) Just deal with the facts. You are feeling uncomfortable in situations where you have to interact with people whom you don't trust to accept you. If describing that to a parent doesn't bring a helpful response, then you may have to deal with this without much parental support. That's too bad.

Getting a diagnosis won't help the situation much either. Fight hard against the temptation to withdraw and avoid people. Force yourself to be brave and interact as much as you can with others. Join clubs, accept invitations . . . do whatever to come out of your shell. I believe that an awful lot of social anxiety is a combination of lack of experience with people and lack of having good people skills role-modeled for you by your parents.

Study your parents, and ask yourself how good are they socially? I'll bet they have some problems of their own. They may be more at the root of your problem than anything else. Obviously they follow pop fads, which is what this anti-gluten thing is all about. Humans evolved into wheat eaters many thousands of years ago. Some people have Celiac disease and truly can not eat wheat products containing gluten. Be very glad you don't have that disease and eat what you feel like eating.