Getting back to normal: is there such a thing?

stuck1978 · Jan 18, 2015 at 06:50 PM

Hello,

I'm wondering if anyone can share their experiences and/or opinion on the subject of getting back to normal. What I mean is the way you used to be before you ran into mental problems.

Let's say that now you got your issues more or less under control. Life moves on. But you feel changed/different. You realize that there are issues that may be with you forever or for a long time. Things that used to work no longer do. Interests you had before no longer appeal to you, etc. Everyone around you and you yourself expect to get back to normal, to the way it used to be.

The question is whether it's better/wiser to accept your current state today and move on adapting your lifestyle, etc. or assume that the work isn't quite done and wait until you feel like wanting the things you used to want, etc.

Thanks
-stuck

gayleggg · Jan 18, 2015 at 07:34 PM

I have just accepted that things will never be like they used to be. Too many changes to accommodate my being bipolar. One thing I've learned is that life never remains the same. It is always changing sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. We just have to adjust and keep on moving forward.

BashfullOne · Jan 18, 2015 at 09:45 PM

I don't think I've ever been normal. I've always been abused for as long as I can remember. The sexual abuse started at age 5. I was always neglected, phycacilly and verbally abused.... I never feel safe, even around my husband. He's an Angel and has put up with a lot of my crap and insecurities. I had a major break down, tried taking my life, and I just keep on going. Always afraid. Always praying I won't wake up tomorrow. I'm also bi-polar II. I went wacky a month ago and lost a lot of face book friends. My true friends understood what was going on and stood by me. I apologized and we all started fresh. I have a mental breakdown.... Now am back to my normal bi-polar self. Still scared and insecure. For me that's normal....

magical loser · Jan 19, 2015 at 07:13 AM

i've often wondered that myself. i want to be back how i was a few years ago when i was a remotely functioning adult. i dont think i have ever been normal, theres always been something wrong with me but it was better than this (or not as bad) thats prob as normal as i can get so thats what i want but i sometimes wonder if its even possible?

avlady · Jan 19, 2015 at 07:51 AM

I'm happy to hear your real friends stuck with you when you had problems. I also wouldn't say you weren't normal, just ill a the time. i get sick when too many things are going on, i worry i won't be able to function if something bad should happen.i hope you feel ok for the rest of your life, just keep up the good work and do what the doc tells you, if he's a good one.

brainhi · Jan 19, 2015 at 09:40 AM

I think as we learn more about ourselves - some innocence is lost. As we evaluate the past and learn to live & take care of ourselves in the present.. life changes. It does not have to be a bad thing. The good parts of your character that makes you - you... may even get better if we take the time to notice it......

I have to add this - I did lose some friendships as I got better. There was a certain dynamic to some of my friendships and family. Some do not like you to change - it makes them uneasy and they are not certain what role to play in your life any longer. There will be those that are there and accepting no matter what - normal or not

stuck1978 · Jan 19, 2015 at 10:48 AM

brainhi,

I'm having similar issues with friends and family. For example, they say why don't you do this or that. You were really good at it. And I say I don't do that any more. And they say what happened? Like it's a bad thing, so then you start thinking it's bad thing and you should try to get back to doing what you used to.

Hellion · Jan 19, 2015 at 03:37 PM

I don't really remember a time of before struggling with mental issues, so haven't really been normal as far as mentally healthy I guess. But probably normal for a lot of people with similar experiences.

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magical loser Member Member Since Dec 2014 Location: uk Posts: 407 9	Jan 19, 2015 at 07:13 AM #4 i've often wondered that myself. i want to be back how i was a few years ago when i was a remotely functioning adult. i dont think i have ever been normal, theres always been something wrong with me but it was better than this (or not as bad) thats prob as normal as i can get so thats what i want but i sometimes wonder if its even possible?
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stuck1978 Member Member Since Jul 2014 Location: NY Posts: 66 9 11 hugs given	Jan 19, 2015 at 10:48 AM #7 brainhi, I'm having similar issues with friends and family. For example, they say why don't you do this or that. You were really good at it. And I say I don't do that any more. And they say what happened? Like it's a bad thing, so then you start thinking it's bad thing and you should try to get back to doing what you used to.
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Hellion Grand Magnate Member Since Apr 2010 Location: Colorado Posts: 3,794 14 6 hugs given	Jan 19, 2015 at 03:37 PM #8 I don't really remember a time of before struggling with mental issues, so haven't really been normal as far as mentally healthy I guess. But probably normal for a lot of people with similar experiences. __________________ Winter is coming.
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