[Lantern]

I seem to yo-yo between feeling like the smartest guy in the room to periods of self loathing for my actions. Why do we do it? why do I do it. I love my wife, I am sure of it, yet her love doesn't seem enough for me. I don't want those other women, yet there I am with them. How do i stop?

[jelly-bean]

I guess you just stop! If you have a T you should discuss the problem the next time you have an appt. If you don't have a T you might want to get one. There may be underlying reasons for you actions and a T could help with that.

[Lantern]

I am in the process of locating one. My wife will leave me if I don't seek help. I am a wretch and I do not know if i deserve any grace

It's eerie how similar what you're saying is to what I heard a friend of mine say about ten years ago. He ended up in treatment for sex addiction and then went to AA. His marriage survived. He is doing eons better today.

I think grace can only be a gift and can never be earned. I was offered some a couple of months ago. I accepted and am working on dealing with my feelings of unworthiness.

The mood on your icon and the word "grace" made me think of the poem Love(III) by George Herbert.