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jbug
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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 04:42 PM
  #1
Tomorrow is a big family thing I have to go to. I am getting ready to make my pie and have dyed my eggs. I am trying to get myself in the family mood though. My family is very interested in my eating habits. Before my surgery it was Jan you eat too much..now its Jan you don't eat enough have some more. I tell them no I'm full and they don't get the concept. Then we don't do anything when we get together. The men in one room watching T.V. and sleeping and the women in the other room gossiping. The little kids running around with my Grandma telling them not to run. I don't want to go but if I don't they will be talking about me in the gossip session so don't want to do that. I am thinking about taking one of my textbooks to study for my test I have on Tuesday but then I know I won't do that cuz I will be told I'm being rude because I'm not talking. I just can't do anything to please my family and it stresses me out. I have a feeling that I will be leaving my T a voice mail message when I get home tomorrow. I would drive myself and then leave when I want to but dad told me I can't do that. I can't win for losing.

Jbug

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EJ711
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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 05:19 PM
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Jbug,

It is a no-win situation.

((((Jbug))))

I'm sorry you have to go.

EJ
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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 05:36 PM
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Jbug,

I was just thinking about your post some more, and realized you should be allowed to go for a little while, and then leave.

Since these people are gossips, they will talk about you no matter what. You should be allowed to leave and study. It's the perfect excuse.

Gosh, Jbug, otherwise you are like one of the British Sailors, being held hostage by the Iranians -- LOL!!!

Love,

EJ
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WinterRose
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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 06:24 PM
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EJ711 is right - sounds like it doesn't matter what you do, they will do what they will do - so do what feels right for you. You deserve to have a nice holiday too. It won't mean you don't care or don't love them if you take care of yourself. Though I'm not sure you're worried about that.

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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 06:34 PM
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I agree with the above.

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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 06:44 PM
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Default Apr 07, 2007 at 06:46 PM
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Wait ---- your dad still has rule over you? Of course you can drive yourself and leave when you need to!!!! That's only good self-care IMO. You have permission to do that... you can give yourself permission to do that! Family gathering

If you can't find the strength to leave early, then do take the book, and politely excuse yourself saying, I have a test I simply must study for... so I'll be in the xxx room reading and studying if that's ok???? And go read. Anyone who doesn't understand...well, they won't understand even if you draw them pictures I think Family gathering

Go have some fun and leave. You are your own person. Family gathering

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Default Apr 09, 2007 at 08:42 AM
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The family thing wasn't as bad as I thought. There was a few comments on my eating habits but I think I handled them ok. The lady that the thing was at is looking to have lapband surgery so I gave her a couple of websites to go to.

I brought the catalog of things my school is selling and I made a few sales so that's a good thing. Almost all the women there bought something. Good for my student organization.

We left around 5 so I was able to come home and do some studying. We hunted eggs a few times but I only went outside once for it cuz it was too cold. Dad was in a wierd mood about the camera. I didn't figure out how to use their camera too well so we are getting pictures from others there.

I get so stressed out about these things and then it ends up to not be so bad.

Jbug

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Default Apr 09, 2007 at 09:40 AM
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((((((((((((( Jannie )))))))))))))

I thought about you yesteday and sent up a prayer for you. I'm so glad things were better than expected.

Hugs,

Jan

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Default Apr 09, 2007 at 10:17 AM
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jannie hon you are an adult. you have your own apartment! your dad can't rule you all your life! start standing up for yourself honey. glad things weren't so bad though

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Default Apr 09, 2007 at 05:17 PM
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(((((((((Jbug))))))))))))

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Family stuff always seems really stressful.

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Default Apr 09, 2007 at 10:01 PM
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((((((((((((((((((((Jbug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so glad that things went better than you thought.

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