[indigo1015]

If I met you in a deserted alley, I would kick you in the face and shove you against a brick wall until you bled. Then I would throw you down the stairs and beat the living **** out of you. Then I'll leave you in a garbage dumpster in pain and pure anguish. You are useless and pathetic-- you have made a horrible impression at your school, you have no job, you starve yourself and exercise all the time and yet you will never be thin and pretty like you should be. You don't even look anorexic. You say you want to stand up to your eating disorder, but you never will because you are a piece of **** who can't stand up to anyone. You fail at everything you undertake. Nobody likes you and no one ever will. I hate you. You are almost 30 and yet you have no chance of ever being in a relationship because you can't stand other people, which actually is fine because they can't stand you either. Your body is disgusting. Nothing you do will ever be enough. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART and will never forgive you for all the time and space you have wasted on this planet

[CANDC]

Sorry to hear you are suffering from low self esteem. I was mentally and emotionally abused as a child and suffer from low self esteem too. My perfectionist parents expected me to be perfect all the time. Your letter sounds like you had some rough times as a child.

I would like to offer you a new view of you because I know there is a treasure inside you and me both. There is something beyond the false expectations. I just kept waiting for someone to give me permission to be who I am behind the anger, frustration and pain. You are not that bad person. You are suffering from unrealistic expectations and the conditioning of chlldhood. You and me can both be who we are under the pain.

Some people choose talk therapy with a therapist that specializes in self esteem or eating disorders if that applies.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[indigo1015]

Thank you for your response, sorry it took awhile for me to respond :-) Not sure if you are aware or not, but I have been a member on here for a few years, during which time I have responded to other peoples' posts, although I admit probably not as much as I could/should. I find it hard to empathize with people because frankly, I don't like people. Most people are incredibly stupid, selfish, and hurtful to others. It was nice to see that someone cared enough to comment, it seems I've had a lot of viewers but hardly any comments.

Thank you again for your thoughtful reply :-)