My head nearly exploded today (rant!)

A huge part of my job right now is promoting an upcoming fundraiser for the university where I work.

There is a volunteer committee involved in the process. The two co-chairs are the most HORRENDOUS people I have ever met in my life. Many of the volunteers have quit because of them. They are snobs and elitists and have an air of entitlement about everything. They are acting as if this event is THEIR party to show THEIR friends how fabulous THEY are.

Part of my job is writing press releases. Two weeks ago, I sent out a press release about the event. The co-chairs don't understand PR and they decided we needed a 2ND press release focusing on some of the mundane details of the event. My boss decided we should agree to do it just to shut them up. As I was working on the second press release two days ago, I received a press release that one of the co-chairs had written. Then, the next day I received one that the other co-chair (her husband) had written. They were both poorly written. I went to my boss about it and she told me to just write my own press release because I write for the university; they don't. The co-chairs wanted something in particular mentioned in the press release and my boss said NO WAY and e-mailed to let them know her decision, so I did not put that particular thing in the press release.

The information the co-chairs provided me with was contradictory, poorly researched, sloppy and inaccurate. I spent all yesterday afternoon and all this morning trying to sort it out -- fact-checking, researching, correcting the spread sheets of information they had provided me with... basically fixing all of their mistakes. All they do is complicate things and waste everyone's time and then have tantrums when they don't get what they want when they want it. I was finally able to write an ACCURATE press release this afternoon. I e-mailed it to my boss and the two co-chairs.

A few moments later I received a rather lengthy, snarky response from one of the co-chairs and it included the following:

"I'm disappointed that the reference to *** was dropped. It seems so ungracious.

At this stage I no longer care about what is written. The event is 2 weeks away and there was no need for this to take so long. We were told we would have it last evening."

When I read her e-mail, I felt like my head was going to explode and I was shaking. Our entire department is being run ragged trying to get everything done and we are subjected to verbal abuse from this woman and her husband. Two of my colleagues and I have already filed reports with the HR department about this... that was the day that one of the co-chairs spent an hour shrieking and yelling at my boss in her office. It's SO unacceptable. This has been going on for a month and a 1/2... plus we have loads of other work to do. We're understaffed. My boss will not stand up to them. I think it's because she's on her way out. She's leaving in June.

I e-mailed my boss and told her that I couldn't respond to the e-mail I had received because I was too angry. I told her that I work for HER, not the volunteer co-chairs. I also told her that I don't tolerate being spoken to in a disrespectful manner in my personal life and I certainly will not tolerate it in a professional environment. I'm not putting up with it anymore. These people are rude, condescending, and act as if we're at odds with them. They act like we're they're party planners. This is SUPPOSED to be a fundraiser for our university and I am the person in charge of the public message the university sends out. These people are representing the university when they interact with the public... and they're not sending a positive message to anyone. They are going to create a public relations nightmare with their behaviour. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to throw a hissy-fit at one of them the next time one of them says something disrespectful to me or one of my co-workers. I don't have the authority to put them in their place, though. Only my boss does, and she won't do it. I am just SO fed up and ANGRY and IRRITATED. Am I over-reacting? I have to deal with these people for two more weeks and I don't know how I'm going to do it without losing my temper.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Juliana))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You poor thing!! You're not overreacting AT ALL; this is a HORRIBLE situation to find yourself in!! I relate, if only because my mother has had to deal with so many similar situations in her jobs, so I hear about this kind of thing a lot.

I'm so sorry that I can't give you any real advice, but I'm sending waves of calm, patience, and resilience your way!!! You DEFINITELY need to be nice to YOU for the next two weeks... and hey, here's an idea--I was once in a play with a guy I absolutely couldn't stand, so whenever he went up to do his part I'd convolute whatever he was saying into something totally idiotic in my head. Basically, try to find the humor in the situation you're in, when you can. I know that 90-99% of the time that can be totally impossible, but it's a thought.

PM me whenever, even if it's just to rant!! I'll be happy to listen.
luck&love,
~muse

Hi Julianna,
No, I don't think you're over reacting. I don't know what to tell you because I would have bitten their heads off by now so I think you're doing great.
((((((Julianna)))))))
Hang in there.

She took the words out of my mouth
just..... ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
PM me any time!

(((((((((((((((( Juliana )))))))))))))))))

Thanks so much reading and responding... all of you. It means a lot. This has been going on for weeks and weeks and weeks and my boss and my colleagues have commented to me that they envy my ability to remain calm and always have a sense of humour. I think I've just been repressing my rage, though... and it came to a head this afternoon. That e-mail was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just keep telling myself... two more weeks... two more weeks...

Grrrrrrrrrr.... rude people who think they're entitled to whatever they want just because they're rich really get under my skin.

I KNOW!! I'm just glad my parents raised me right... I live in a really wealthy area, so I could have become a younger, preppier, equally snotty version of your two bestest buddies instead of who I am today... SCARY THOUGHT!! ^.^

Hang in there, girl!! Jax said it really well. We're here for ya.

If I may ...???

When it comes to YOUR emotional health, yes, you are overreacting imo. This is affecting you so negatively. To me, that fact means that you have taken this far too personally. If you can step back away and realize this really isn't about you...though you are involved... you will get through these next two weeks much easier. The reactions you are experiencing aren't worth your health.

(((hugs)))

While I am a "career" volunteer, and know that it takes a special "hand" to work with volunteers, it hardly excuses any bad behavior upon any volunteer's part. But with that said, it is part of understanding the mindset of the average volunteer. It [i]shouldn't[/it] have to be the way it is; ppl should treat each other with courtesy and appreciation no matter whether paid or not. I'm sorry you have come toe to toe with some poorer representations of the volunteer force.

In reading, I wasn't quite sure WHO is over these volunteers. If this is a joint effort, then the heads of each group needs to deal with the problem, not you. If there is a coordinator over the volunteers, then that is who should be advised of the problems at hand. If they happen to be the head of the volunteer force, then the relationship needs to be discussed and possibly reevaluated by the university? As I said, the care and feeding of a volunteer work force takes special understanding, and as you may have found out, patience.

I'm sorry that you have been treated badly. At this point why not jot down the tasks to be finished (if you haven't already ) and think about what alterations might occur and how far of an adjustment is possible. That way if they throw you any more curve balls, you'll be ready. Instead of having to cowtow to their misunderstandings, you will then be able to stay professional and also regain your patience and understanding.

Breathe. Nothing they do or say diminishes you in any way.

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE

I am sorry you are going through this. I like Sky's idea of trying to plan ahead and anticipate any possible problems they may throw your way.

I don't know if you can get by with this or not, but there have been a couple times in my career when I've had to flat out tell someone, "I don't get paid enough to take this kind of abuse."

Hugs,

Jan

Thanks for the responses. These people are impossible to predict... because they're irrational. I have a clear Communication Plan mapped out with defined deadlines and all I can do is meet those deadlines. I'm tired of them changing horses in mid-stream and coming up with ridiculous, unreasonable ideas. I have so many other obligations apart from this one event. I ghost-write everything for the President and his work must come first. I'm also in the process of interviewing designers for an upcoming project as well as writing and editing a magazine and being on call to speak to the media on behalf of the university. I don't have time for unnecessary, ridiculous interruptions.

I told my boss that I will not tolerate that kind of abuse. I told her that I will take my orders from HER; not from THEM. My colleague and I also told the HR Director the same thing and she agreed with us. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about it other than create a file about it and offer sympathy. The university has an anti-bullying policy regarding staff and faculty, but nothing on the books regarding volunteers. She is working on getting new policy written and enacted because of this situation. She has apologized to me that I have been thrown into such an unacceptable situation so early in my new job.

Officially, my boss has final say on everything regarding the event. The event is by and for the university and the volunteers are supposed to be working FOR the university; not giving orders to university staff. They are supposed to be contributors, not managers. For some reason my boss often has chosen not to exercise her authority. She will tell me or one of my colleagues to do one thing, we'll do it, and then one of the co-chairs will decide we should have done something else and my boss will agree with them. She is letting them treat her like a doormat and I have let her know that they don't have permission to treat me that way. She actually allowed one of the co-chairs to scream and yell at her for an hour one day in the office. Everyone in my department (including me) got up and left the building because we didn't want to listen to it. It's an outrageous situation. Some of the things they have done are jeopardizing our fundraising potential. If they're allowed to continue in this manner, we could end up LOSING money on this event... and it's our major fundraiser for the year.

At least it's only two more weeks...

I agree with Sky. This isn't about YOU although they're trying to make it seem so. By "they" I mean the two problem volunteers and your boss by default, because she won't deal with them properly.

You're doing your job right. Stand firm in that and let the fallout roll off you. It's difficult, I know, but not impossible.

Hang tight!

I might have some useful advice (or not): When these idiots ask you for information, give it to them in short, curt answers. Straight to the point. Don't repeat it. If they ask again later, simply smile and say, "I answered that earlier." Nothing else needs to be said. If they say that answer wasn't acceptable, or "I told you why we don't want that!" even if they're yelling, just smile, "You didn't like my answer. That's ok." And go on about your business.

If they continue squawking, be like a bird, and enjoy the show! Some bird owners make the mistake of getting frustrated with their birds' behavior by going to them and yelling and raising a fuss. Birds don't see this as being yelled at. They see it as entertainment: Wow! When I screech, I get attention! Look how my owner comes over to me and waves his arms and gets noisy, too! What fun!

Just try to remain calm, force a smile (if it doesn't come naturally because your mind hasn't left the frustration to focus on the humor of the situation), and just look at them, or go about your business if you have work to do.

(((((((Juliana))))))))