How to annoy an introvert

I didn't post this in one of the other forums because I don't think that my particular situation deals with any sort of social anxiety, or that it is a relationship issue. This particular issue has to do with being an introvert, and how extroverts tend to react to us.

For all of the things that are "wrong" with me, I don't feel as though being introverted is one of them. I am just a reserved person that needs my alone time. I am cordial to people, but I am not trying to be everyone's best friend.

The other day, my next-door neighbor said she wanted to talk to me because she was done "feeling awkward around me". I heard her out, but I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation as to how I live my life. If it were an issue of playing music too loud or something that is disruptive to others in the neighborhood, I can understand that. I keep to myself, and I didn't realize that was such an issue.

I told her that it's nothing personal, but that is just the way I am, and in the midst of my explaining this, she interrupted me. What exactly was the point of this conversation if I cannot finish my sentence without being interrupted?

There's another instance that happened, not to me, but a coworker of mine. I overheard two of my other coworkers talking about her (and they were of the chatty type) and they thought she was "weird" because they didn't know anything about her. I got along with the woman just fine.

Why can't extroverts understand that not everyone is going to engage them in small talk or tell them our life's story? I'm not, and I never will be, the life of the party, and I am OK with that. Why can't other people understand that?

I feel the same way as you except I do consider myself an introvert. To me, it's not a bad thing, it just means that I need at least an hour more than others to relax. Extroverts are the opposite, so the more they talk the more energy they have. I guess it is hard to understand opposites...

i am also an introvert but i will admit sometimes i'm not. i usually am but have days where i wish i could have someone to talk to. im in a country like setting and have few neighbors as they all moved and i wish there were some people to talk to. if you are introverted i do understand we need our alone time more than others it seems. good luck

It's true, sometimes extroverts seem not to understand us. Probably it's difficult...like sometimes it's difficult for me to understand why they like big parties and similar things
Though I have to admit that I'm not always ok with my being so introvert...sometimes it's a problem in social situations that you can't avoid, where it's required to stay with many people that you don't know well.

Extroverts get their emotional energy from other people. Such as when other people get excited, they get excited as well. Introverts emotional energy comes from within so how other people feel doesn't really affect them. When the two meet, the extrovert essentially sucks the emotional energy out of the introvert leaving them tired and annoyed. As has been noted above, introverts need time alone to recharge while the extrovert needs people to recharge.

Then you have me. An introvert with some schizoid tendencies ... not only do I need alone time to recharge, but frankly I don't want to be around people at all anyway.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm definitely an introvert, but what I would like people to know that I do like people. It's just an energy thing. I simply don't need to be around people as much as others do, but I do like people.

Here's another part of it: It takes me a while to feel comfortable enough with someone to tell them certain things. Some of the extroverts are "an open book" to where it's almost inapproprate. When I first moved into my house, my new neighbor from across the street was telling me and my friend about each and every one of the neighbors on the block. There was one in particular that she didn't like, and she referred to him as a slur that people use to describe homosexuals. Now, for all she knew, my friend could have been my partner. Not only is it inappropriate, but now I've got to wonder what in the world she would say about me if my back was turned.

I know a few extroverts like that, with no filter whatsoever. I usually tell them NOTHING at all as they are just too ignorant and arrogant to know what is appropriate or not. Those kind I stay far away from, but most are not like that (around here anyway). To me they are just immature, childish, and have extreme emotions. Honestly, I do consider myself an introvert, but there are many extroverts around me, so I end up having to act much more extroverted than I like. I've learn how to manage though, but I still just don't get how they find talking to strangers and going to parties/crowded loud areas recharging. It's just mind boggling! :P

I need time to feel comfortable too.

I completely understand and there is nothing wrong on your side.I am an Introvert as well,i have seen some over reacting extroverts myself and i have taught lesson to few of them.

Of course if you are a reserved person then you need your alone time,the same as i need sometimes. Oh yes,that is not something new to hear that some extroverts will find Introverts and lonely people as "weird". There are also some good extroverts who understand about different people and don't interfere in others business but more than 60 % extroverts will be annoying.

I live where even extraverts are disciplined into being reserved! Love it! LOL.

I'd go crazy if more chit chat and talking for talking was asked of me. Something that bothers me about these people is that as much as they like talking, they don't fricken listen! They can ask something ten times and I get sooo tired repeating myself. Like If you want to talk, try to remember some of the convo? That too much to ask?

At my last work place everyone gossiped about everyone. I hated it.

I am an introvert myself. I was married to an introvert and we are recently divorced but I started dating an extrovert. OMG!! It can be trying for me because I am not used to being around someone who speaks their mind without thinking. I process everything through my filter before speaking and I hardly say much at all.

Well I am an introvert and have chronic social anxiety. And I stay pretty distant from people because of those 2 things. But for short durations I am very good at acting like an extrovert and being a social butterfly so that keeps people off my back and from asking questions I do not want to be asked

I always just thought I was a loner until I heard the word "Introvert". Explains a lot! I was recently told that "I'd be much happier if I surrounded myself with friends and went out with other people more" when discussing my depression. What many do not understand is that I like to be around my friends..just not all the time. I'm the same way about calling people. You are probably on my mind, I just hate to pick up the phone and call people.

The neighbor Prob interrupted u becuz she wasn't interested in why u keep to urself. She sounds like she wants to talk regardless of UR perfectly ok staying to urself. She sounds bothersome

Kathi

I consider myself and introvert even though personality tests show I'm really close to the line between introvert and extrovert. It's kind of funny because I'm a therapist so I work with people all day. At night when I get home from work I'm happy as a clam not to have to interact with people until the next day. I have friends I do things with. I chat with friends on the phone. I go to dinner with friends a few times a month, so I'm not a hermit. But I do need my alone time to recharge.

Just remember today, about the woman that I worked with mostly kept to herself. Her desk was next to mine, and these same women were chatting it up. The woman said to me "Don't they ever shut up? LOL

I am both introvert and extrovert. I talk to those I trust about things but not to those I don't trust. I used to be so introverted I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything. Going to group meetings changed me to talk more about personal things. But outside of a group I don't talk about much personal. But I have not gone to group meetings much in the past years so I am more introverted again. Give me some alcohol, though, and I may talk more. I'm trying not to rely on alcohol though and really think being introverted is quite okay. You never know anymore who you can trust.

I'm sort of both.....I think needing my time alone comes from being an only child...lots of stuff going on all around me creates a serious anxiety level that I totally hate. I look forward to my 10 acre farm out in the country where I can relax.

While at the same time, it seems like when I go shopping or something (happens a lot more in this small town I'm now living in) there is always someone who I end up connecting with & end up talking to & totally enjoy the conversation (someone who I have never seen before & don't know). It's not like we get into everyone's detailed personal life....it's just about light things. I seem to be aware of the people around me at times & do have times when I connect with them at a very high level. Honestly, I rather enjoy it because I have met & talked with some very interesting & nice people....it's not like we exchange information or anything like wow, be my friend....it's just connect for the moment & then go on with our lives. I have learned a lot from other people & have shared interesting information with them that they have enjoyed learning.

Funny thing is that my H was a total introvert & we had NO friends when married to him & I wasn't comfortable with that life either.....but I have been a very quiet person all my life....it's only since I broke out of the area I lived & out of the marriage that I was trapped in......but in reality, I'm a combination of the two....I have my times when I enjoy talking with & enjoying learning about them...but other times when I seriously need my OWN QUIET TIME.

I'm an I N F J

I've read that this type often gets perceived as extroverts - but that we're still introverts because our empowerment and rejuvenation comes from being alone.

I want to be nice to everyone and talk to people who initiate conversations, even initiate some conversations myself, but I defiantly have a limit. Some days a lot of conversation gets very exhausting, and when I do try to avoid furthering interaction later, I feel people get a little upset with me - or worse, think that they upset me- but they didn't upset me - I just need some space

If anyone is interested in joining the Introverts social group: http://forums.psychcentral.com/groups/introverts.html

Susan Cain has published a book called "The Power of Introverts." She has given a Ted Talk here about the subject of Introversion versus Extroversion here: .

There's also a one hour long Q&A session recording that she gave at Google if you still want to hear more of what she has to say on the topic after watching the Ted Talk. You can find it on YouTube.

That is a wonderful YouTube presentation. TedX is always great. So true that everyone needs their introvert quiet times to put their thoughts together....that's where creativity comes from....it can be put together in groups but it originates in the quiet alone times.