[Gareth Monkton]

Hello

For 46 years I was known within the community in which I live and work as a being a compasionate, generous person with high principles and moral values.

In 2010 I became very unwell - severe depression, paranoia, psychotic periods. In the years that followed I became irrational and often reacted on impulse with little or no thought as to the consequences.

My behavior and thoughts at times since 2010 have been totally out of character.

I often ask the question :-

Is it the illness that caused what appears to be a different personality to that of the previous 46 years ?

Is the real me the person I was before becoming ill or the person afterwards ?

[Perna]

Hi, Gareth. I don't know who the "real" you might be but I suspect it is both people. Yes, illness, especially psychosis, causes us to be out of "our" head but that's not personality. A fever can do the same thing.

Illness can change how we respond but it does not change who we are I don't think. However, one could not become well again, become sicker, in which case for that period one might be said to have a personality change but it does not negate who you were when you were compassionate and generous! All the things you were you still were. I think of it kind of like if you were to lose an arm or a leg you once had or your sight or hearing? You could talk about walking or sights/sounds, you "know" them and they were part of you but the characteristics you like about who you were, you don't have available at the moment.

[avlady]

i agree with perna.