Family Emergency - Need Advice ASAP!!!

Ok - here is the situation..... well two of them.

I have been babysitting one of my nieces three children for the last year (ages: 5 - 2 - 1) and while I have enjoyed it all some of the responsibilities of the ten hour days have been hard on my physical body due to my health problems - but never the less - I hung in there for I will always be here to help the ones I love.

A few of my doctors have just recently told me that I need to take a little R&R from the strains placed upon my life which is putting strain upon my physical body, therefore, flaring up all my medical conditions... and this moment of rest was to take place come this June 2007 - after the year of babysitting services I offered my niece to get back on her feet (free of charge) when the father left her and their children with out any extra support / high and dry.....that year was to be over with on May 30, 2007 (and) I was looking forward to the rest that waits me.

NOW!!! - the BIG problem....

I just got a call from one of my other nieces (distraught & in tears) asking me to take her two year old daughter and keep her - the father and her will sign rights over to me.... for DCF is at their house and refuses to leave until they have both the child and the father's grandfather, for some one who was angry with them called DCF and said that my niece and the child father abuse these two people and that they keep the house dirty and rarely ever have food in the house.
I personally have NEVER seen any of this!!!! And the child does not look to be missing any meals - TRUST ME.

If I do NOT take my great-niece she will be placed in a foster home.... some thing I would rather not have. And yet I am not sure if I can continue to care for younger children due to my own health problems and need for rest & sleep when my body demands it - the last year of babysitting has been rough on me and the lack of sleep I don't get.
But - what to do - I do NOT want a precious child to have to go to foster care until DCF gets their act together, for when does one complaint warrant taking a child from her home? - a home were both parents work and do the best they can for their family and for a sickly older family member they love.

SIGH!! HELP!! SIGH!! HELP!! CRY!! SIGH!! HELP!!


P.S.
Their lawyer is on his way to their house were the DCF workers waits..... for daddy & lawyer to arrive.

I don't think you can help this time, Rhapsody, and I can't see that child services or whoever are going to just let you take (hide?) the child? I imagine if the whole thing is a lie it will all get sorted or and/or child services will contact you (rather than a foster home necessarily, they have some trouble finding them and they cost money) when/if they're looking. I think your niece and her men will have to work at sorting this out themselves?

We can't do everything, even seemingly necessary things all the time. If you get sick(er) it will be a worse situation than it now is? You must think of yourself here so you can help sometime in the future if still necessary. This is a painful situation for all concerned but not an "impossible"/necessarily horrible one; special services isn't going to eat your grand-niece :-) at least not today?

(((((((((( Rhap )))))))))

I'm so sorry for all of this. Only you and your Drs can decide if you are going to be physically able to care of this child.

The one thing that came to mind is perhaps you could put the child in daycare so you can rest during the day. Also do you have any other family who can help you for and hour or two each day?

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I'll try.

Hugs,

Jan

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Perna said:
I don't think you can help this time, Rhapsody, and I can't see that child services or whoever are going to just let you take (hide?) the child? I imagine if the whole thing is a lie it will all get sorted or and/or child services will contact you (rather than a foster home necessarily, they have some trouble finding them and they cost money) when/if they're looking.

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Yeah I know that no one can hide the child or the grandfather (and we don't want to do that)....... it just happened that both of them were gone out of the house when the DCF worker came over - no one knew she was coming.

And NO - I do not believe the DCF will let the child stay until they get things worked out - sorted out - for they stated up front "WE will NOT leave until WE have THEM BOTH to go with us" - Foster Care - until this matter is taken care of.
SIGH - all of this based on one stupid accusation....

..... some times the SYSTEM does in deed SUCK!! - IMO.

* * * * * * * *

My husband just stopped by the house to get some thing to eat and he said - we can take her today if needed so she does not have to go into foster care - but that we will have to talk more about it before we can make a longer commitment past a week.

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January said:
The one thing that came to mind is perhaps you could put the child in daycare so you can rest during the day. Also do you have any other family who can help you for and hour or two each day?

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That is true..... I could place her in day care a couple days a week if needed - parents make the payments.

And NO - there is not any one else that could care for her during the day - they all work..... I am the only stay at home mom (lucky me - lol).

i am sorry your family are put under this strain, i hope when they make there investigation and find nothing wrong your neice will have that in writing, these things can put a lot of strain on a family, your necies are lucky to have you

(((((((((((((((Rhapsody and necies and there familes)))))))))))

Wow. Either Florida is extreme in regards to child protection, or you don't have the whole story. I only say this out of my own experience. Do you know that when I called the cops on my ex-husband(I found out he was physically abusing my daughters-punched in the stomach, kicked them-bad!). The cops came, and called me back. The officer said he was calling social services on him. He said the whole house was filthy, and he was drunk. Said my daughter hit him, not the other way around. Of course he's going to say that!

Guess what? I got a call from the social service worker, who said they were closing the case. Why? Because he wouldn't return their calls and they couldn't get a hold of him. Real NICE system, works great. My girls are now with me, permanently. They don't even want to visit their dad.

Now, I had a friend who's child was taken from her. Her 18 month old daughter showed up with a broken leg, from falling in the bathtub. They kept her daughterfrom her for a few months, then returned her. Turns out(I found out much later) that her husband punched this poor child in the knee, and broke her leg.(No longer a friend, btw).

So, just maybe there's something going on that you don't know about? Just a thought...

If it was me, I would take the child, but make the parents pay for daycare. You need to think about yourself-a two year old is a lot of work. But, I don't have physical problems. If it's too much for you physically, don't do it. I was the only stay at home mom, and friends and family just couldn't understand when I said NO *sometimes* to babysitting. It's like they were in shock-you actually have something to do?

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tokidoki said:
Wow. Either Florida is extreme in regards to child protection, or you don't have the whole story. I only say this out of my own experience.

So, just maybe there's something going on that you don't know about? Just a thought...

If it was me, I would take the child, but make the parents pay for daycare. You need to think about yourself-a two year old is a lot of work. But, I don't have physical problems. If it's too much for you physically, don't do it.

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Yeah - I know there is always two side to every story - some times even three....

but what I do know is that the people that called DCF on my niece and her b/f have caused trouble for them in the past (they even had to go to court one time - but the case was dismissed when the other person did not show).
All I can say right now is that it is a very angry female creating trouble for others for she is totally upset with the relationship (or lack of one) between the two b/f - their relationship went down hill after it was no longer is needed or wanted by my nieces b/f - he is trying his best to turn his life around (for him and his family) and with that one must let go of some friends.

Florida rights for children and how harsh they are (or are not) some times depends on the case worker you are assigned to - some times they give leave way as they check things out and others times they come right into your house and take the child away until the case is sorted out - One NEVER knows which it will be until it happens to them, unless there is physical proof of abuse on the child's body or lack of food in the house..... which in this case there is not.

I personally will take my great-niece if they do not allow her to stay in the home.... for I had some going on's with HRS when I was a child and they did me (the victim) wrong, therefore, my trust in them is very - very very very low.

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January said: I'm so sorry for all of this. Only you and your Drs can decide if you are going to be physically able to care of this child.

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I agree with January...

*hugs* I'm sorry! Maybe you can agree to take her on a temporary basis, until things get sorted out and an alternative caregiver can be provided. Make sure you give a timeline though! Good luck

Long Story Made Short.......

False Report Made Out of Revenge - Crazy Rambo Type DCF Worker Sent Out First - New DCF Worker Sent Out Later - All Checked Out Fine - Child Stays with Parents... Case will be closed in 1 week.

Charges being brought against the two people that made the false report.... by DCF.

* * * * * *

BTW - see I told you all that in Florida is all depends upon the case worker you get - and this proves it.

im so glad that everything as turned out good

((((((((((((Rhapsody and necies famlies))))))))))))))

(((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))

What a horrible thing to have to go through. Since I work in human services and have been a CASA/GAL in the past, I know all too well how DHS operates. They have their good points and bad. Unfortunately it is not a perfect world there.

You are such a loving and caring individual to want to help with your nieces child. I'm so glad you do not have to take her in now. You need to take care of yourself hon.

The emotional upheavel of going through this is exhausting for everyone. Take some time to relax and recover.

Hugssssss
J

Thank good for that!!!!

(((((((( Rhap )))))))

I'm so glad things turned out fine. I also want to tell you that I'm so glad you have such a beautiful, loving heart.

Hugs,

Jan

Yeah!! That is awsome the way it's turning out!! I hope they really nail it to the ones who made false reports. That is just SO wrong in every way imaginable for what those two did to your family. Thank God it turned out right!!! Once again, YEAH!!!

Thank you all for caring so much and for praying..... and While I am so so sooooooo angry at the two people that did this out of nothing more than evil hateful revenge I am more relieved that all worked out for a precious innocent child of just two years old.... she does not need her safety and nor her security screwed up over two adults that do not know how to act like the adults their age says they are.

and - THANKS for all the lovely words on my behalf.... what can I say except that I am grateful that God was kind enough to bless me with such a caring and merciful heart - He is Good!!