[Killian Hook]

Hello all!

Over the course of the last year, with the help of my therapist, I have begun to explore the "committee inside my head." These are the many different aspects of my personality that prattle on in my brain all day long while I try to get thru my day, shipmates with me on my very own Jolly Roger. The first one I identified was the voice of Anxiety. I finally had to embrace it and asked what her what she wanted from me (yes, she is female), and it turned out that she wasn't the enemy I thought she was. This left my shame, which feels like an inner critic trying to make my life hell. However, I embraced him a couple nights ago, and I realized the inner critic is trying to make my life better. He tries to steer my actions like a conscience would, but has a bit of a broken compass. I felt like this was a pretty big breakthrough for me, and wanted to share it.

Both of these voices have goals which are not all that bad. It is just that when things don't go their way, they produce some very uncomfortable feelings. Now, the next voice I have identified is an approval addiction. I am not ready to embrace this one yet (I can only hug so many of my crew members at once, lol). The only problem is that the "voice" I don't understand has way too much importance in my thinking.

So, without any further ado, allow me to introduce some of the many mates aboard the Jolly Roger.

ME: Captain Killian "Hook" Jones

FIRST MATE: Lt Commander "Approval Addict"

**Not sure of the motivations of this one yet**

Expresses himself thru: Outsourcing self esteem to others.

Expressing dissatisfaction thru: Depression, loneliness

MASTER AT ARMS: Mistress Anxiety

Goals: To protect me from harm

Expresses herself with: Fight or flight, anger, feelings of dread

Expresses dissatisfaction thru: Explosive rage

HELMSMAN: Boatswain "Inner Critic"

Goals: To make things better, experience more joy and success

Expresses himself with: Contradictory suggestions
(For instance, "You've earned it; go ahead and have a drink tonight," but then will criticize me for it the next day)

Expresses dissatisfaction thru: Shame

Let me know what you think about this! I would like to hear from you. I will be taking this to my therapist when next I see her.

[gayleggg]

It sounds like you have done a lot of good work. Maybe I could use some help in this area. Sounds like you have a very perceptive therapist.