[selfy]

say u knew a friend of yours was in trouble, with someone else, and he was mistreating them. say this person was in a different country so you could not call the authorities. they have told u not to tell any1 else about it. but it is dangerous for them. what would u do?
would u not talk to any 1 but them about it? would u tell one person who knows them to call the authorities? would u just leave it and be there 4 them when he does it again? what if u cannot persuade them to go to the authorities?
what happens then?.... ppl in a similar place have developed DID, PTSD, depression, and many other problems, say this was happening to a friend and you didnt want this to get that far, what would u do? i am open to any suggestions ty 4 ya time

How wonderful for you to consider the needs of your friends....

I think this sounds like a relationship where someone is possibly being abused.. Thats really sad to me.

As far as contacting the authorities on the matter, even if they are in another country you should still have some way of bringing this to light... may I ask what country they hail from?

[sabby]

There are a couple of different ways you can help your friend. Most of all, be there for her to talk to. You can help her plan a gettaway from this abusive person. That's providing that she is not in danger of having her life taken away. If that is the case, then contacting the authorities in her country is the best thing to do IMO.

I have to tell you though, to be aware that she may become angry with you for doing that. She may not be ready to leave the situation and cannot think clearly about her situation and the danger there. Talking from experience, when one is in the situation of being abused, the abused feels unworthy, feels responsible for the abuse. She may love this person who is abusing her, even if it is a distructive love. Be prepared for the fallout.

You are wonderful to care so much for your friend and want to help her. Go with your gut instinct and how dangerous you feel this situation is. I wish you much strength and luck in dealing with this situation.

I lost a dear cousin to domestic abuse. I wish so much that she had reached out to someone and told them what was going on so we could have helped her get away safely.

Hugssssss
J

[Wants2Fly]

You mention a third person who is in the same country as your friend who could notify the authorities. Is the other person willing to do that? Can the two of you work together to create an intervention for your friend?

You are so nice to care.

[selfy]

they r from US. i hsave been trying to fight between concience and reality. i dont want bad thingsto happen to them, but i promised i wouldnt tell any1 about it like who it was, what was happening specifically. all i want is for them to b safe. i would tell the third person, but i yet again am confronted with my concience. as telling her may alsoreveal something else.
v confused
self

[nothemama8]

if it is potentail (sp) hazard to another person, you need to tell authorities, can this be done anonomusly?

[selfy]

idk,,, what do u mean,,, i would, but i actualy ant report it till i knowwhere exactly the prob is, i knowwhich state they r in but..... feeling totally useless

[January]

Safety of your friend(s) must always come first, Self. Please consider that. You must also remember that you can't help a person who really doesn't want help unless a child is involved.

Hugs,

Jan

[Rapunzel]

A promise to keep a secret, weighed against the need to keep someone safe, is a difficult dilemma. I'd just like to emphasize that when someone is in danger, keeping them safe comes before keeping a secret. Which matters more in the long run? But then you need to have enough information so that someone can help. Another option is to try to get your friend to tell someone in a position to help, but that isn't always easy. I hope you can find a way to get your friend connected with the help they need somehow.

[AlteredState01]

This is exactly why I hate secrets. They most often involve hiding pain and betrayals and such, and wreaking so much havoc in peoples' lives.

(Sorry, a tad off topic)

Tough decision. I hope you find the courage to do what you think is best for the one who stands to be hurt the most, especially if they are innocent and are in no position to defend themselves from the possible consequences.

Altered State