[lv99atheist]

Long story short: I've been living here for about 7 years, but I have never had problems like this before! I currently now have no less than four different apartment neighbors who are out to get me. Two families have children they do not supervise; in fact, one of them leaves the kids home with a young teenage babysitter while he runs off to buy beer, and does nothing to discourage his 8 year-old from using "sailor talk," if you know what I mean. I've had a next-door neighbor verbally attack me because she got tired of me opening my front door a little to see what's going on. I really don't care what they're talking about, but I do have a right to see what was going on, and I wasn't spying on them, I was trying to find out who was stomping in the walkway. And a fourth "family man" has decided to take all his kids to a spot right outside my open window and just hang out there with them. When I asked them to move away (they're not supposed to be loitering there in the first place,) he got attitude with me, basically telling me that since he has kids and since he pays rent there, he has a "right" to do whatever he wants... never mind that I also pay rent here and that this is my apartment, too! Finally, we've got some bum who does drugs all the time who moved in last year. He's supposedly being evicted, but in the meantime, he's in self-destruct mode... bringing friends - and enemies - over at all hours, including a stunt pulled by one of his motorcycle buddies who raced up and down the road, revving his engine so loud that sitting in my bathroom with the doors closed, my ears were ringing!

Last night, my partner and I were trying to celebrate our anniversary when, about 8 p.m., nearly ALL the neighbors began to gang up on me. They brought their kids up here and just hovered around my locked front door, stomping, yelling. While I'm still trying to come down from that, about 2 a.m. this morning that fourth neighbor had his bimbo approach the fence and started yelling for him to come out and see her... I know they have cellphones!

I have HAD IT. I don't normally go out because I suffer from agoraphobia. But it seems even staying at home isn't an option anymore because there isn't even peace here! I don't think I'm being unusually sensitive or strict; we've never in seven years had THIS much of a problem with kids running around, loud parties being thrown, and outright criminals climbing over the fence bathing in our swimming pool! There hasn't been a change in management recently or change on policy that I'm aware of, and the on-site manager has always done a pretty good job about making the place as accommodating to quiet, restful living as possible. (And, no, she hasn't gone senile since she doesn't have final say in who moves in. Everybody is treated fairly.)

Basically all this stress is killing me. I'm not being too dramatic; I've been living with chronic stress for many years, but it's getting intolerable. It's taking me longer to come down from a fright, my adrenaline skyrockets at the slightest provocation, I shake all the time, I jump at shadows, it takes an inordinate amount of time for me to settle down enough to sleep because I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I dread getting out of bed each day because I'm just waiting for the next insult. I don't think I'm overly sensitive and I'm pretty forgiving and tolerant, but a person can tolerate only so much before he goes crazy. Moving isn't an option for several reasons: 1.) I can't guarantee that the next place will be better, 2.) I'm poor, 3.) I live with chronic illness that makes simple tasks like walking a pain... shopping for groceries is like running a marathon, so moving would be like biting and clawing your way to the moon. Besides, I don't want to HAVE to move, just because a bunch of self-centered fools have decided to bully me.

Thanks for reading this novel-length rant and I'd appreciate any advice given... before I completely lose it and go on a rampage. (Sad when a bookish, introverted pacifist feels the need to go on a rampage in order to simply carve out a quiet spot where he can be left alone, huh?)

If you can't move, try doing some research on sound proofing. That will put you in control, whatever your neighbours are like. Not just ear plugs or a sleep mask, but other things. What could you find or fix to deaden noise? Thicker curtains or a rug? Adhesive film to put on the windows? I don't know what there is but I do know people have sound proofed their teenager's bedroom because they play drums or loud music, so I know it can be done. And if you discover it costs money, then perhaps you could think of a cheaper, more creative alternative? Sorry if it's a wacky solution but it's the best I could think of! Hope you find peace

[lv99atheist]

Originally Posted by Little Cat

If you can't move, try doing some research on sound proofing. That will put you in control, whatever your neighbours are like. Not just ear plugs or a sleep mask, but other things. What could you find or fix to deaden noise? Thicker curtains or a rug? Adhesive film to put on the windows? I don't know what there is but I do know people have sound proofed their teenager's bedroom because they play drums or loud music, so I know it can be done. And if you discover it costs money, then perhaps you could think of a cheaper, more creative alternative? Sorry if it's a wacky solution but it's the best I could think of! Hope you find peace

Not wacky at all. Since I'm stuck here, I was thinking of trying to soundproof the bedroom. However, if sound was the only problem, it would be a reasonably simple fix. Trouble is that the way the building was made, it transmits vibration. I'm guessing it's partly because we live in a seismically active part of the world? Besides, the reason we have the windows open is that we also don't do air conditioning. The building doesn't have central A/C. Closing the windows is asking to get nuked by the heat. I was able to hear the neighbor's visitor at 2 a.m. even though I was in the bedroom with the door shut and the windows closed. I've soundproofed it as much as I can on a limited budget. Maybe we can do more, but I'm uncertain. I have pretty severe allergies to dust mites, and hanging comforters on the walls seems to me like I'm just asking for constant allergy problems. Well, people tend to settle down a bit once it starts raining again. I hope I can hold out til it does, though there are no guarantees. Thanks for the idea anyway. It really does help quite a bit to know that people care... especially when I seem to be surrounded by neighbors who only care about their own version of "fun."

You're welcome. I know how annoying it can be, although thankfully I'm no longer in that situation. If vibration is a problem, then you might try damping. Solutions are structural and expensive, but according to this article (near the end), you can also get the same effect with strategically placed heavy items.
Minimal but disturbing, building vibration can be dampened - Facilities Management Facilities Management Feature
Good luck!

[*Laurie*]

I wish I had solutions for you, but I have only empathy. I am a very considerate neighbor, very quiet and polite and it seems that wherever I live I am surrounded by loud, intrusive, rude neighbors who like to light up their property at night with flood-lights that totally ruin the peacefulness of the night for me. At this time I also live in an apartment complex and (thankfully) my neighbors are all very friendly and polite, BUT they make noise! Like, dude...do you HAVE TO STOMP when you walk past so that the entire building shakes? Other person, do you HAVE TO yak on your cell phone right in front of my open window? Guy across the way: Hey, I understand wanting to protect your home and yard but that BLINDINGLY BRIGHT outdoor lighting really is not necessary! Do you accept the fact that you have neighbors whose bedroom windows face your house? Do you even care, or are you just a jerk? DO YOU SLEEP - I assume you do, so don't your lights disturb you? ACK!!!!!

I did have some neighbors who decide to break into party mode at 1:15a.m. the other night (waking me from a sound sleep)...I was furious & called the cops to make a noise complaint. Cops did respond quickly and the noise stopped and hasn't happened since.

You have received some good suggestions on this thread. I wish you luck with your problem...you have my most profound compassion.