[Fuzzybear]

"Smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone"
Do you agree with the sentiments of this song and how do you think it relates to depression or anxiety?

I have to say that my mother-in-law was what I would call a "whiner" and quite possibly the most negative and "miserable" person I have ever known (apart from my stepmother ...) and she refused to even try to get any help for her ? depression ? and in the end I avoided her for my own sanity ... I am not "proud" of that, but my relationship with my SO was suffering too, as we couldn't agree on how to handle her ... We both ended up literally banging our heads on the floor after one of our visits to her ... I suggested she saw her doctor or saw a counselor about her issues (?) but she refused to

My question turned into quite a vent huh

Take care,
Fuzzy

[SeptemberMorn]

Seems it turned out to be true for your MIL, didn't it? I think that saying is true for the most part but there are exceptions to everything. If your problems or lets say "our illness" doesn't over ride the "normal" part of us, we can affort to smile at the world. But I think most of us with depression have to be careful how many frowns we try to turn upside down.





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[LookingForMe]

I agree with the sentiments of this song completely. I have always tended to be an 'upbeat' person until depression hit. People like the 'upbeat' me and that is who they are used to seeing. They haven't a clue how to respond if I'm not. It makes them uncomfortable and I can see that they just don't want the 'image' to change.

However, I am responsible. I created that person. I never showed anyone anything else.

And what many consider to be negative emotion (I am learning that all can be healthy and necessary) aren't particularily attractive...so I guess that's why when we frown, we frown alone.

<font color=green>Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.</font color=green> --Alan Keightley

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for your replies! I feel bad about this thread now, I probably sound like a "horrible person" saying those things about my MIL

[LookingForMe]

I don't think you should feel bad Fuzzybear. And I didn't think you sounded horrible at all. There are some people out there who are just plain miserable (and not necessarily depressed! *grin*) and no matter what you do or say, no matter if you sit and listen, no matter how loving or wonderful you are.....they will continue to be miserable and its very difficult to be around that kind of person for any length of time without being negatively affected by it yourself.

<font color=green>Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.</font color=green> --Alan Keightley

[dexter]

I also think there is no reason to feel bad, fuzzy. Our thoughts are our thoughts and in the real world we do have an obligation to be kind and watch what we say. But here is just the right place to let go of those pent up feelings, a safe place, private, and with people that understand you are venting your feelings, not intentionally being rude to the person in question.

{{{{{{{{fuzzybear}}}}}}}}

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--http://www.idexter.com

[darkeyes]

Gee, sounds like my mom

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON