[shatteredexistence]

I'm going to make a long story short. I became very good friends with a female coworker about a year ago, almost like brother and sister. Recently she moved quite a distance away, and when she left I fell into a very bad place. Some inappropriate texts were exchanged and my wife ended up finding them. We are working on our marriage and things are going good.

However, I still can't stop thinking about my friend. It seems like I'm constantly wondering how she is doing, what she's up to, etc. I'm constantly fighting the urge to email her. How can I get these feelings to stop? I love my wife and I don't want to leave, but I still care about my friend. Will it pass with time? I'm incredibly confused right now.

Sounds like the coworker was your "work wife". People use that term jokingly, but it's a very real thing and there's often a lot of emotional intimacy in the relationship.

If the "work spouse" relationship is done correctly, there's no cheating on either party's spouse, either sexual or emotional. I suppose the closeness happens because you see that person so often and you work together closely.

It makes sense to me that you would miss your friend tremendously. I'd guess that your workplace might seem a little empty without her being there.

Do you see a therapist? I'm guessing that if you do, you've already discussed this with them.

When I did a seach for "work wife" just now, I got hits on several articles. This is a very common kind of relationship. Some relationships are fairly superficial, but some are very close.

The question seems to be more one of how you deal with your feelings now. I would vote for distraction and trying to do more things with your coworkers.

[shatteredexistence]

I don't see a therapist at this time. My work schedule doesn't really allow for it right now.

I'd just like to know why she has this "spell" over me.

[shatteredexistence]

I also wonder why I go through phases. Yesterday I was really down and wanted to talk to her so badly. Today I could care less if I ever talk to her again.