[moooo2u]

I was at the gym this morning and there are are group of people working out together - they seem to pull people in - and I thought to myself that if they tried to bring me into their group, it would be just to make fun of me. it would be trick of some sort.
how messed up is that? what happened to me earlier in my life that would make me feel this way?
I know i'm often surprised when people talk to me because I don't understand why they would.
I like and value myself so little that this is how I work.
that's what I really need to do - learn to value and like myself - the trick is how do I do that.
I try to look back over the past 40 or more years and try to figure out what happened but I can't really remember a time when I was not quiet and shy - but I did manage to have a few friends.
I need to do things that allow me to become a person I value. The doing is the hard part because there's so much I have to do for others and for work. At least I'm going to the gym now and walking/running a lot and making some progress there. That's for me.

[shezbut]

((((moo002u))))

I, too, avoid most people. While I have been hurt in the past, by several key people, it has been many years. And logic tells me that not all people instantly hate or hold me in disregard. Yet, I don't have the power to allow myself to make new relationships.

I go to the gym, restaurants, and parks regularly. Yet, I won't speak with anyone while I'm there. I am a loner. It is hard for me, but I am going to therapy weekly. What more can I do?

I can sympathize with you. I avoid people socially because i often question their intentions. I don't want to be pulled in to other people's drama and baggage. Just take it as it comes. If they compliment you, say thank you. If they talk about recipes you can share some of what you like. Just listen and agree where you can. The people that are meant to be in your life will be there for you. It just happens. As far as self worth, you are a unique person with talents that other people do not have. You have a lot to contribute to others. Just be kind to yourself and go with the flow. Good things will come your way. Come here and express yourself, this is a wonderful support system that i cannot say enough about. Blessings.