[Nosebleed]

Is there anyone here who was very unsuccessful (academically and professionally) when they were in their teens and early 20s but made a come back later on in life?

Or is one pretty much screwed for life if he/she has some major disorder(s)?

[Perna]

I'm 56 and just got my second BA. I graduated in 1972 after nearly flunking out (breakdown when I was 20) and only had a GPA of 2.000000027 or something :-) This time I had a 4.0 in my major and spent time the last 5 years on the Dean's List.

I believe now (didn't in my 20s and 30s :-) that it is possible to do well and that all things will be well eventually. I didn't get married until I was 39 and that's another thing I didn't think would happen in my 20s and early 30s, a loving relationship.

I'm a whole lot better now at "waiting" and continuing to work toward what I want, hopeful that it will all come out well for me. After getting together with my T a second time from a 9 year break, I believe just about anything (good) can happen "around the corner" so I don't despair quite so quickly anymore but keep working forward toward what I hope for and want.

There's a book I love, The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle and the hero character reminds the others that "the happy ending can't come in the middle of the story" so I ask myself now, "Are you happy?" and if the answer is "No" then I know it is still the middle of that story and I keep working.

[seeker1950]

Hi, Nosebleed...
I was pretty dysfuntional in my late teens, early 20's. I did manage to graduate from college on time, but with lots of emotional trauma, and wonder how I managed to get thru it now....I'm age 56 also, and have struggled throughout this time, with many mistakes and ups and downs. I have always driven myself to work hard, go to school even when I don't want to, and be financially self-sufficient. I didn't have the training as a child to prepare me for life's challenges, and it has been an uphill battle. Battling lifelong depression since childhood has been a constant, though in my 40's I was finally diagnosed and given antidepressant medication. This helped with making choices and surviving on my own.
I hope you succeed!
Patty

[tranquility]

Hi Nosebleed -

I never did well scholastically through high school - tried some college classes and did not do well. Was hospitalized numerous times in my early 20's.

Fortunately my second boss at my current job (health insurance company) realized my intelligience and strengths and did base her judgements on a piece of paper from a college. In 10 years I was promoted 6 times - I went from a file clerk to a manager within those promotions.

Things can turn around!

Tranquility

[Rapunzel]

I gave up on college the first time around, when I didn't get accepted to graduate school (because of my inadequate social skills). I've been underemployed, and I've been fired from jobs (kind-of - it was technically mutual decision that it wasn't working out). I have had depression my whole life, as well as social anxiety and various personality disorders. I was failing at being a homemaker too, and depression got worse, and I literally wanted to die. That became my turning point. I realized that I was not where I needed to be in life, and went back to school, and work. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I have a good job and I'm in graduate school, and I have my family too. I'm on my way, I guess. Still hoping that it will all work out, but there really is no reason that it shouldn't. As an undergraduate, I was asked to withdraw from an honors program because my grades were falling. Now I have a 3.98 GPA. Sometimes it takes a crisis (and finding your way out of the crisis) to get things turned around.

[lenjan]

I didn't do that well academically in high school or in my first shot at college. Dealt with unrecognized and untreated depression from age 13 forward (my parents thought it was typical teen angst). Quit college a semester before graduation, essentially ran away from home (long story), had a traumatic relationship/event happen that haunts me to this day, moved home with parents I hadn't spoken to for a year. Had a series of crappy jobs from 23 (I only lived at home for 6 weeks, btw) to 30, when it occurred to me that I might be single the rest of my life and would need to support myself.

Went back to college full time while working full time, graduated with a 3.9 GPA, got a free ride to grad school and now have a master's, which I finished in the midst of my dad's death and a major depressive episode. Finally got myself into mental health treatment, spent most of a decade in therapy, worked out what I needed to work out, and apart from time off recovering from a near-fatal physical illness, have been gainfully employed since age 22 (I'm 42 now) -- the last several years specifically in my field. (Other jobs were tangentially related to my degrees, but not directly.)

I've won awards for my writing (I'm a journalist) and have taught, quite successfully, at the university level. I have a number of students who have kept in touch after leaving my class, and several of them wrote me recommendations when I moved to a new area and was looking for a teaching job. I take that to mean my social skills have improved -- kind of a problem for me in HS and college the first time.

So yes, I'd consider myself successful after a "bad" start. I've done all this while dealing with several severe depressive episodes leading to hospitalization and one hugely manic one that should have. Unlike some, I don't believe in using it as an excuse -- it's another challenge to be overcome.

Candy