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Taonuviel
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Default May 14, 2004 at 09:27 PM
  #1
Uuuh... I could puke, wish I would since I ate today, but it's not going anywhere. Haven't had a job for a few months, and I've wanted one so badly up until now, but had given up, now that I've been hired I'm irrationally afraid of it. I've just been so severely depressed recently, and it feels like so much effort, especially since I've been feeling really withdrawn and socially anxious again... happens at lowest points. Almost didn't go to the interview, but I need a job badly... definately not going to get any better sitting around my house all the time as all I've had to do for months. Just generally anxious about the whole idea.
But it's kinda good to put in words, anyway.


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nightdream
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Default May 14, 2004 at 09:37 PM
  #2
I'm not good at giving advices, specially on this subjet as I'm scare to death of going to work, which I have to do soon, but I want to wish you good luck!

They say a good night sleep may help. I hope everything will go alright for you. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Good luck!
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Taonuviel
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Default May 15, 2004 at 10:09 PM
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Well, thanks for your reply. Didn't work until 5, so didn't really have to worry about getting enough sleep.
I guess it went ok. Just kinda afraid I'll sabotage myself in it. Doesn't help my self-image's so low right now. It's going to kill my back again, though, apparently... old injury was killing me after a couple hours. Eh... I just hate living.


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Starbuck
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Default May 16, 2004 at 05:39 AM
  #4
I hope everything works fine four you, Tao.

Keep us updated, ok ?

Sincerely,

Starbuck

Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad.


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SeptemberMorn
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Default May 16, 2004 at 10:29 AM
  #5
Think positive, Tao. You're breaking the cycle you've been in so it's going to be uncomfortable for a while, but tell yourself how good this is for you; no more sitting around vegitating. Ahhhh... starting job tomorrow... freaking out

Don't know what kind of work you are doing but I was wondering if a back brace might help you. Just a thought.



Ahhhh... starting job tomorrow... freaking out

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

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Default May 16, 2004 at 12:31 PM
  #6
Tao,

We have something in common, I start a new job tomorrow too. I don't think what you're going thru is irrational. it's what we feel. But these people wouldn't have hired us if they didn't think we could do the job, and we should feel good about that. You're going to be OK, and so am I.

Please post about this and let us know how your first day went. What kind of work are you doing? I't'll take awhile, but what you're feeling now will just be a distant memory. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, and wishing you nothing but the best of luck!

Greg

Ahhhh... starting job tomorrow... freaking out

"Beauty is truth, truth is beauty - that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know"

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Default May 16, 2004 at 04:52 PM
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best of luck to both of you.....gregg, tao...........please keep us updated.....

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willoughby
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Default May 16, 2004 at 07:29 PM
  #8
Hi Tao
Good luck with the job. BPtoo is right. Your anxiety will be a distant memory. Keep yourself occupied so you dont have time to think to much about it. When you go to work, it will fly by. (I find the first few days do) Keep remembering you said you needed this job. The paycheck will be great. Keep us posted.

"you only have one chance to make a first impression"

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Default May 18, 2004 at 09:12 PM
  #9
Well... I've worked 3 days now. It's concession stands for a baseball park. I can't decide if the erratic schedule is good or bad... I guess it's bad any way it's put, like life. I've been out so much the last few days, but I feel really empty anyway, and tired. No more games for 2 weeks, so no chances to work in that time. But I don't know that I care. It's all so pointless, and suicide's basically constantly on my mind, I've been carrying this disturbing death instrument around in my backpack for a couple weeks now, but it's probably more disturbing that I don't find it disturbing. I want to give in, and take action. What's crazy is things are kinda better right now. I got a job, and I've been having the chance to hang out with people lately. Nobody would understand. But it's still so pointless, and I feel so trapped, boxed-in to this useless existence.


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