[DechanDawa]

I had one freak out on the phone with a relative this week. I have a lot of stress in my life and the holidays seem to add to it even though I like much about the holidays. Any suggestions on how to just enjoy the holidays because, after all, they are meant to bring "good cheer" and I think it could even reduce my stress if I got into the right mind set. What I am going to do after Thanksgiving is prepare a special Christmas package to send to my best friend. She is going through so much stress she refuses to decorate for Christmas or celebrate it at all. This is a person who is normally Mrs. Christmas and who has over 40 boxes of Christmas stuff! Any other suggestions? PS I think I need a knitting project, too. It calms me.

Note: Changed my avatar to something more calming.

[Quarter life]

Hi DechanDawa.

Christmas can mean different things to many people. I was a Christmas avoider for many years. But these days, I celebrate by honouring my years achievments, taking stock of what I'm grateful for, spoil myself with festive food and hang twinke lights in my garden. I live alone with my 2 dogs and rarely have visitors...but if someone drops around over the holidays I try to put my happy face on. If nothing else....Christmas is a yearly marker that says I made it through another year.

[Skeezyks]

Hi DechanDawa: Well... this is a bit out of my league, I'm afraid. Christmas is just another day to me. (Likewise all other holidays. The Skeezyks simply does not do holidays.) However, my thought with regard to holiday stress would be to try to figure out what it is about the holidays that is stress producing, & then to try to think of ways to modify, or avoid, those things. For example, I simply cannot tolerate crowds, nor do I have any interest in being where there are crowds. So I avoid going anywhere there are likely to be crowds during the holiday season. I guess I pretty-much do this all year around. I just simply feel like I don't need, or want, to put myself into situations that are going to cause me discomfort. A certain amount of anxiety is, I suppose "character-building". But, if it rises to the level of genuine discomfort, then I just choose to avoid it.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hi DechanDawa: Well... this is a bit out of my league, I'm afraid. Christmas is just another day to me. (Likewise all other holidays. The Skeezyks simply does not do holidays.) However, my thought with regard to holiday stress would be to try to figure out what it is about the holidays that is stress producing, & then to try to think of ways to modify, or avoid, those things. For example, I simply cannot tolerate crowds, nor do I have any interest in being where there are crowds. So I avoid going anywhere there are likely to be crowds during the holiday season. I guess I pretty-much do this all year around. I just simply feel like I don't need, or want, to put myself into situations that are going to cause me discomfort. A certain amount of anxiety is, I suppose "character-building". But, if it rises to the level of genuine discomfort, then I just choose to avoid it.

I don't think of Christmas as a day, but more as a season. I like the twinkly lights, and I live in a very quaint mountain town, and around this season the town is just so darn cute. I should add that this town is getting to be more on the wealthy side while I am on the opposite slippery slope, and I have to move in the new year because I can't afford to live here after being here for many years. This is also the season I think of how many people in the world suffer from the lack of resources. I'm already stressed and maybe being out in traffic and crowds around rush hour is something I could avoid. Your comments helped. I am probably neurotically stressing myself out more than I need to. Over what? I don't know. I need to give it more thought. Meantime, I will do some knitting.

I think that the key is to have something to look forward to.

Me, I enjoy the time off work with my wife, putting up the Christmas tree and all that stuff, and the food...

Also I enjoy the Christmas lights on the neighbourhood... to see what people come up with every year... there is a neighbour down the road who always goes overboard with his Christmas decor, I call his house "The Local Vegas"

Well, I come from a family who never did celebrate Christmas or anything for that matter... I guess I'm making up for lost time and doing things I didn't have the chance to as a kid.

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

This is a person who is normally Mrs. Christmas and who has over 40 boxes of Christmas stuff!

There ain't such a thing as too many Christmas decorations

[FireIsland123]

I believe what you are doing for your friend who is going through tough times is fabulous! The added stress of all this commercialism is just horrible. For alot of people, the best gift you can give them is time - time to listen, share a cup of coffee or help with a task that they just can't do alone. Good for you!

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by FireIsland123

I believe what you are doing for your friend who is going through tough times is fabulous! The added stress of all this commercialism is just horrible. For alot of people, the best gift you can give them is time - time to listen, share a cup of coffee or help with a task that they just can't do alone. Good for you!

Well, when we were tiny kids my friend was astounded by my home because it was my Mom who was the original Mrs. Christmas. So then as adults my friend was inspired and adopted my Mom's over-the-top Christmas spirit, while I am more Xmas Zen. But it makes me sad that my friend isn't decorating. How can she not even open one box when she has over 40? She's depressed. Well, I'm depressed, too, but that's okay. I have PC. And my friend has her adorable dog. We will survive.

[Seraphine]

You sound like a wonderful friend, you should be proud of that
Personally, to avoid the the stress, i buy early in the season, or online so i don't have to be around crowds. Making some decorations helps too, little things for the tree, or your friends tree, hand sewn, i think it always feels amazing
What else, i like to plan and make lists, of what to buy or make and when, so it's less to rush up on me in the last fortnight

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Seraphine

You sound like a wonderful friend, you should be proud of that
Personally, to avoid the the stress, i buy early in the season, or online so i don't have to be around crowds. Making some decorations helps too, little things for the tree, or your friends tree, hand sewn, i think it always feels amazing
What else, i like to plan and make lists, of what to buy or make and when, so it's less to rush up on me in the last fortnight

Thank you. You provided sage advice, and I am going to follow it. I love the handmade decoration idea. Something I use to do but forgot about. It is a very cheerful idea. And fun. Handicrafts calm!

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by BuildABridge

I think that the key is to have something to look forward to.

Me, I enjoy the time off work with my wife, putting up the Christmas tree and all that stuff, and the food...

Also I enjoy the Christmas lights on the neighbourhood... to see what people come up with every year... there is a neighbour down the road who always goes overboard with his Christmas decor, I call his house "The Local Vegas"

Well, I come from a family who never did celebrate Christmas or anything for that matter... I guess I'm making up for lost time and doing things I didn't have the chance to as a kid.




There ain't such a thing as too many Christmas decorations

My friend would adore you for saying 40 boxes of decorations aren't too many. Her family has ridiculed her over the years because of this, but she created a magical Christmas for her family, so why all the bah humbug? Hopefully by next year she will want to once again celebrate full-force. You also reminded me to drive around my town and look at everyone's outdoor Christmas decorations. That's always fun!

[Cat_Lover_58]

Great ideas to focus on, they're all inspiring to me! I'm trying to look @ the positive things this year. I've had to resign from my job (just a few days ago) and so, this year, I'll have the time to do my thing...go to the Lighting Festival this year, do much walking since the car is forever out of commission, and do some smallish, meaningful things for a few neighbors!

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Cat_Lover_58

Great ideas to focus on, they're all inspiring to me! I'm trying to look @ the positive things this year. I've had to resign from my job (just a few days ago) and so, this year, I'll have the time to do my thing...go to the Lighting Festival this year, do much walking since the car is forever out of commission, and do some smallish, meaningful things for a few neighbors!

Wow! You're attitude is great. Thank you! And take care of yourself.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Seraphine

You sound like a wonderful friend, you should be proud of that
Personally, to avoid the the stress, i buy early in the season, or online so i don't have to be around crowds. Making some decorations helps too, little things for the tree, or your friends tree, hand sewn, i think it always feels amazing
What else, i like to plan and make lists, of what to buy or make and when, so it's less to rush up on me in the last fortnight

I have been following your advice and it really and truly helps. Thank you.

[TimTheEnchanter]

I am trying medication (20mg citalopram) because I am the same way (actually my father was like that) so that is sadly hereditary. I am also working more (this is the busy season) for us. Today, I called in sick as citalopram gives me occasional diarrhea. Next year I may just get a medical leave (I am turning 60 in Dec 2017) So you are not alone. I don't know what else to say except [hugs]
Unfortunately, my anti anxiety pills are not doing any miracles. Let's see maybe Jan will get better.

[DechanDawa]

Well, another freaky freak out. I sent my friend the Christmas package and she called me to say she liked it. But when we got to talking every time I had a little holiday cheer she crapped on it with her bah humbug attitude. We finally got into a fight, hung up, and have been exchanging crappy emails. Hers have made me cry and also it caused me to drink three beers mid-week! And I'm a rare drinker. Stupid. I had been carefully cultivating holiday cheer and had my little mental fire burning bright and my friend just came and poured beer on it. No, I poured the beer on it. It is going to take me a couple of days to detox. Why must people be so negative, especially around the holidays??? This one was kind of an ambush. (I guess they all are.) One thing I have found out this holiday season...the secret of the holiday is holiday cheer. I find the lights cheerful and just the all around festivities cheerful, and I swear this is the last person who is going to ruin my cheer. Some people just want to be in the Bah Humbug Party. I'm not going there.