[Pflaumenkeks]

Hi!

[CN abuse, ED, depression, thoughts of suicide, sex]

I really would like to write in one of all these cathegories but the problem is, I don't know in which.
I am diagnosed with ED and depression, at the moment I am in therapie because my anger (I'm not always angry, but sometimes it slams me with a hammer and for apparently no reason)

Thing is: Before I went to seek professional help bc my depression told me to kill myself I had a quite different time. And that's where my "problem" begins.

I had a very long period of being productiv. Very productive. In a way that was distructive. And I couldn't help. I had to do it. I worked way to much but I didn't care, I had lots of sex that I didn't wanted but initiated - I had the urge to sleep with people allthough I hated it. I slept about 4 hours a night, was very restless. Did reckless things and couldn't stop. I just had to go on and DO stuff. And I spent waaay to much money. Nearly ruined me.
In short it was alike the thing you read on the internet about (hypo)manie (I did research but it didn't gave me all answers I was looking for that's why I decided to write here)

Now the thing is: I was anorexic at that time (the kind of that nearly would have let me commited suicide in a long run) and I had left a history of abuse from my ex-partners - which I realised 4 years later after this episode

So now I'm confused - could my symptoms of (hypo)manie be in reality just be my ED? Or me (not) dealing with abuse?

The episode was about 5 years ago . since then I have struggled with depression and really weird times of being sad and restless. And so damn angry. and then again I am the most patient parent you could ever imagine. (Yes I have looked into BPD but there are also a lot of questions open for now)

At least my ED got better since I found out that I am genderfluid (it seems that not trying to be someone you're not is a good therapy)

I don't expect to be diagnosed but what are your experiences with this topics? Or do you have an idea what to look for when figuring this out?

Thanks anyway

PS: my therapist is a therapist in traing an quite lovely but inexperienced

[kkrrhh]

I went to check and am surprised to see there's not an actual forum for comorbid disorders, which I was gonna suggest.
Your ED could definitely interact with or worsen anything else that's going on and vice versa, but especially with the barely sleeping part it sounds like it could be some time of bipolar.
Have you ever read about dysphoric hypomania and mixed states in bipolar? It could explain having the depression and restlessness at the same time, as well as the anger. Not a diagnosis of course, just might be worth looking into to see if you can relate to it. Though some of the anger and other emotions, and even self destructive type things could absolutely be emotions from your past experiences that need worked through, and a good therapist could help.

I'm so glad to hear that your ED is better, and that you were able to discover your gender identity.

If it's not too nosy to ask, would you be able to see a psychiatrist or someone for diagnosis any time soon?

[Pflaumenkeks]

Originally Posted by kkrrhh

I went to check and am surprised to see there's not an actual forum for comorbid disorders, which I was gonna suggest.

Yeah me too, looking around I would guess it's more common to have more than one

Originally Posted by kkrrhh

Your ED could definitely interact with or worsen anything else that's going on and vice versa, but especially with the barely sleeping part it sounds like it could be some time of bipolar.
Have you ever read about dysphoric hypomania and mixed states in bipolar? It could explain having the depression and restlessness at the same time, as well as the anger.

I just searched for it and it sounds very much alike an bigger episode I had 3 years ago. But then again, it sounds like every time my ED is getting worse. Like when I get anorexic again. (I also binge eat sometimes but thats a very different emotional state) It lasts about a week and is exactly this. Crux is, I believe this moments are triggered and from my barely knowledge from hypomania this seems to be an counterindicator.

Originally Posted by kkrrhh

Not a diagnosis of course, just might be worth looking into to see if you can relate to it. Though some of the anger and other emotions, and even self destructive type things could absolutely be emotions from your past experiences that need worked through, and a good therapist could help.

Maybe thats what I am dealing with now? My actual state seems to be more like "sudden outbursts" (but as I understand it I don't have to be in a constant up and down, there are normal times between, too?)

Originally Posted by kkrrhh

I'm so glad to hear that your ED is better, and that you were able to discover your gender identity.

If it's not too nosy to ask, would you be able to see a psychiatrist or someone for diagnosis any time soon?

Thank you so much! I will talk to my therapist about this, I just wanted to have more informations (I like to be informed) and be able to justify why I may need further help (or if? Because besides medication she's doing a really good job, that's part of because why I am here).

Thanks again for taking the time for your good answer