[lark265]

I don't know about you, but in my family growing in the 1950's and 1960's it was NOT OK to have "emotional problems." It was OK to fall down and skin your knee, OK to brake your arm rollerskating, ok to have measles, etc, but there will be absolutely zero mental illness in this family. It we suspect it, we will cover it up so not only will it not be visible to anyone outside the family but it will also not be visible to your immediate family. What might life have been like if it had been OK to be mentally ill and to have emotional struggles from an early age? I can never know. I think about my kids.....I know for a fact I would break my back to get them help if needed. Screw the stigma......this is serious stuff.

[Skeezyks]

Hello lark265: Yes... I recall once saying, in a support group I attended, my parents would have better understood me going to prison than onto a hospital psychiatric ward. I have had SO MANY emotional struggles all of my life. I learned very early on that I must keep them all to myself at all cost. And so I did. In fact I kept them hidden until they finally came spilling out like vomit around the age of 50. I've been slowly sliding downhill ever since. You are correct... this is serious stuff. I celebrate your willingness to do whatever it would take to get your kids the help they might need, should the need arise...

[neverending]

But you also have to remember that at that time period they didn't have, the professionals, I mean, the meds and treatment options we have today. Or even diagnostic recognitions we have now and even now diagnoses can be hard. I had ect in 1970 because it was a standard treatment then. And if you were diagnosed and hospitalized in the 50s and 60s hospitalizations could be very long. Looking back I am glad I hid my illness during the 60s. I think my life would have had a lot worse outcome had I begun hospitalization in the 60s which would have happened had I not hid as much as I did. Also until prozac came out NOTHING helped my depression. But yes it did seem as though the mentality was keep family problems within the family. Don't tell anyone.

[BlueEyedMama]

My family is still that way for the most part. Physical illness they understand and are very supportive but mental issues not so much. Two of my four step kids (they are adults now) have severe mental illness and my family never wants to hear about them. They ask about their other nephews and nieces but not our children. My parents did their best and consider them their grandchildren but there really is no contact anymore. This hurts because I always thought that we were a close family and just assumed that my step children would be accepted. My husband's family is the same way they never ask about the kids. Now that they are adults I know that there will never be a relationship formed between them and either set of grandparents but it would be nice if they asked us how they are doing from time to time. Just sayin'.

[estrella]

I was never around in the 60's, let alone the 50's. But I do know the struggle with the stigma today, especially facing it personally, with people who don't understand--and not to sound like the stigmatized, stereotypical teenager. Some people still don't get it. It's real. And if I ever have a child who has issues, I, too, will bend over backwards and try out contortion until my child gets the help I was once denied and that they deserve. I don't understand the whole 'just because you can't see it' thing people use to cover things up with. I'm sorry to anyone who has to hide at the cost of family or just protecting themselves.

[avlady]

i think the stigma in the earlier days was worse than it is now. people are beginning to realise that these diagnosis do exist and are a real part of everyday life for some people. i was in the phych wards in the 80's and the 2000's and boy there is even a significant change in the way the staff treat the patients too.

Certainly the stigma regarding mental illness has decreased significantly over the last 50 years, but it's still there.

Whether you want to tell someone you have a mental illness or not is a personal choice, but if you do want to tell someone, but are afraid of a negative reaction, then it's problematic. It's problematic because it causes you to be fearful, and that causes a fight-or-flight syndrome to take place. Your hypothalamus will send cortisol and adrenaline coursing through your veins, and that's a good thing if you're being chased by a Wholly Mammoth for 5 minutes, but it's a bad thing to be chronically in this state. It will have a negative effect on every part of your body.

Thus if you want to tell someone you have a mental illness, but are afraid of a negative reaction, having that hard conversation may be in your best interest.

Usually those hard conversations end up being the easiest hard conversations you ever have.

[avlady]

you are right, it is still hard to talk about our illness, and i myself know some people left me because of it, which i am happy about because i got to see who my true friends really are. i am still fearful telling someone, but they don't have to know unless i want or need them to.

[crystalstar92]

Good for you! It takes a strong person to change things they grew up with. Every little bit of the good things you teach your children will be passed on to their friends and everyone that are around. By making this parenting change you have started the ball rolling on making this world a better place. I hope you continue to learn from you past and passing the lessons you have learned to your kids and others, please stay strong and keep up the hard work

[Fuzzybear]

[marmaduke]

You see this is what annoys me so much when people are very anti med and go on about 'big pharma'
Yeah big pharma wants to make money but so does every business. Supermarkets are out to make money, the shoe shop down the road wants to make money unfortunately that how the world works.
I hope that will change one day when we become truly cilvilsed.
Years ago there was little help or understanding. 'Mad' people were ridiculed, put in a straight jacket, locked in a padded cell.
Some left in an asylum for years.
Meds have changed that sometimes enabling people to live a (almost) normal life.
Meds are a not perfect l know, but better than how it used to be!
My father suffered with depression no SSRIS then, his mother spent time in an asylum.
Times have changed for the better.
Still a long way too go, but, one day there will be a cure!


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[Shaly78]

I disagree, Therapist ruined my life and I'd be darn if I let them involved in my children life!! They should have thought about that!! My experience is totally different than most this is my personal experience.....

For most cases though, I don't think covering up is the best thing to do.....

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by marmaduke

You see this is what annoys me so much when people are very anti med and go on about 'big pharma'
Yeah big pharma wants to make money but so does every business. Supermarkets are out to make money, the shoe shop down the road wants to make money unfortunately that how the world works.
I hope that will change one day when we become truly cilvilsed.
Years ago there was little help or understanding. 'Mad' people were ridiculed, put in a straight jacket, locked in a padded cell.
Some left in an asylum for years.
Meds have changed that sometimes enabling people to live a (almost) normal life.
Meds are a not perfect l know, but better than how it used to be!
My father suffered with depression no SSRIS then, his mother spent time in an asylum.
Times have changed for the better.
Still a long way too go, but, one day there will be a cure!


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I agree with you things are much better and the stigma is getting less. We still have a long way to go but we will get there.

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[passionfruit3]

Things are getting better?do you not hear a few years ago about the news reports in Los Angeles were people were being dropped off on the streets after coming from the mental hospital. and doctors are still overmedicating the mentally ill not to mention there is abuse it's just psychological. So we do have a long way to go and weve made small steps but its not enough

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