[Onward2wards]

When I and others talk about "the Heart", I see it as basically an "innocent abroad". It is simply an expression of totally natural desires we want to have met: excitement; safety; self-expression; love (given and received); a balance between fitting in and being true to ones' self; etc.

"The Head" as I see it, is there to help the Heart get it's needs definitively met, in a way which is practical, logical, effective, and doesn't cause needless drama or harm for one's self or others.

So why does it seem like our references to "Head based thinking" often point to an inner pessimist, critic and all-round jerk who says "nah, can't be done, shouldn't be done, I have a bad feeling about this, sucks to be you, too bad really" (!!!) How does this mental function go so horribly, depressingly wrong? Does it stumble into a mere acknowledgement of old failures, future worries, limited thinking, a "voice of reason" based only on our subconscious worst fears? And if so, how to get it to do it's proper job? You had ONE job, Head, ONE JOB!

My questions for you are:

What are The Heart and The Head from your point of view?
How do you experience them personally?
How do we get them in the same place at the same time, getting along well, and not bickering endlessly?

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

When I and others talk about "the Heart", I see it as basically an "innocent abroad". It is simply an expression of totally natural desires we want to have met: excitement; safety; self-expression; love (given and received); a balance between fitting in and being true to ones' self; etc.

"The Head" as I see it, is there to help the Heart get it's needs definitively met, in a way which is practical, logical, effective, and doesn't cause needless drama or harm for one's self or others.

So why does it seem like our references to "Head based thinking" often point to an inner pessimist, critic and all-round jerk who says "nah, can't be done, shouldn't be done, I have a bad feeling about this, sucks to be you, too bad really" (!!!) How does this mental function go so horribly, depressingly wrong? Does it stumble into a mere acknowledgement of old failures, future worries, limited thinking, a "voice of reason" based only on our subconscious worst fears? And if so, how to get it to do it's proper job? You had ONE job, Head, ONE JOB!

My questions for you are:

What are The Heart and The Head from your point of view?
How do you experience them personally?
How do we get them in the same place at the same time, getting along well, and not bickering endlessly?

For me they are one and the same.

For example, if you have a negative feeling about yourself you can engage in cognitive restructuring. You can think about what was the situation/trigger? What were you feeling? What were your thoughts? Were there any cognitive distortions (catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, disqualifying the positive, etc.)?What evidence supports the thought? What evidence does not support the thought? Conclude if the evidence supports the thought. Decide which thought you choose to believe. How will you act on the thought that you chose to believe?

This is how I avoid conflict between my head and heart.

[Gaar]

M. Scott Peck, M.D., in The Road Less Traveled, states:

The feeling of being valuable-"I am a valuable
person"-is essential to mental health and is a
cornerstone of self-discipline. It is a direct product of
parental love. Such a conviction must be gained in
childhood; it is extremely difficult to acquire it during
adulthood. Conversely, when children have learned
through the love of their parents to feel valuable, it is
almost impossible for the vicissitudes of adulthood to
destroy their spirit. p.24

For me, the negativity and pessimism is the product of my genes and upbringing. Over the last decades, many professionals have tried to inculcate value into my life with little success.

I just ended another bout of therapy. The idea was to use cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness to help me get past the then to the now. Unfortunately, I remain a humpty dumpty, unable to be put back together again.

I think the heart is the gut feelings which are generated by the limbic and primitive parts of the brain, and the head is the logical part of the brain. So, it is really that the different parts of the brain the contradict each others. The logical part, which we use for math and physics, requires more effort and energy, that is why most people are guided by their lower parts of the brain. Who is telling you that you cannot do it is the limbic system, but this is because your limbic system wasn't evolved to get you through the modern world. It was molded by natural selection to keep you alive in the wild in Africa between predators, which was a hostile environment. So, negativity was an advantage. Now it is not.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

The head is superior to the heart, always. Emotions and feelings make you worthless, only logic and reason deserve any respect.

The head is intelligence and competence; the heart is useless. The heart wants things and cares about things - it's weak and stupid, like most people who are dominated by it; the head knows that everything is pointless and there's always ugliness underneath, only a few people are blessed enough with this evolution. The head creates while the heart either languishes or destroys.

The head is negative because the reality is negative, and the head is always connected to reality, unlike the heart which projects and longs after fantasy. Look up depressive realism.

I say this as an indelibly heart-driven person.

Interesting post. The heart is honest and true but it isn't always right. The heart is the center of joy but also the center of pain. It's subjective, like love. The head, in theory should be objective. It should protect the heart. The heart says what we like and love. The head, in as much is possible, tells us why. They both make mistakes
The hardest part of life is knowing which to trust in a given situation. My head is telling me I am rambling... I think I'll trust it