[hemorow]

Hello, I am really grateful you are taking the time to go through this. I will try my best to simplify and stay focused on a single issue, although I have always wished I could sit face-to-face with a psychiatrist since teenage! It is like one feels when they need external aid in understanding one's self or overcoming shortcomings that are far beyond one's ability to.

My concern can be mostly, if not entirely, related to positive euphoria or peak experiences. I have actually taken the time to go through psychology literature and read about Maslow's interpretation of peak experiences. I have even gone as far as exploring the topic of self transcendence. However nothing seems to describe my case accurately.

First it has nothing to do with religion. It is an intense feeling that mostly, but not entirely, occurs while listening to a relevant type of music, regardless the genre. If I perceive any absorbing part of a soundtrack that triggers certain emotional chords, I start going through the known cycle of spine chills. However I usually connect so solidly to music in a way that every single favorite soundtrack does relate to a past memory or make me nostalgic. It is too deep that I might experience flow as well, which I have also read about. I would recall an incident or an experience, good or bad. But that is not it. The problem is that it is too deep that I almost relive the feeling the soundtrack enticed. It is like I experience part of the feeling, that I previously had in the past, which is recurring to me while listening to that soundtrack!

Moreover naturally this should most likely trigger euphoria or a merry peak experience, however sometimes it is the opposite. I actually do REGRET having missed such memories or having not lived those moments while fully conscious in the past. I have always been anxious and worried about the smallest things through my life, so I probably have rarely enjoyed a moment to its maximum extent. Just assuming, though.

So the memories that are related to the soundtrack come around and I either enjoy reliving them in my mind or regret their passage and that I cannot resurrect them and make them real and lively again! I have always tried to repeat certain past experiences but it was never possible no matter how accurate I bring all variables together such as the right place, right time, right people, and so on. We do change as we grow and our perceptions of experiences do as well as I have observed. The same experience that I had in my memories and wished to relive would not be as good as it was before when it happened.

Finally on the conjuration of such memories, I might sometimes feel physical effects like goosebumps or the feeling of startled, like someone has startled you somehow. I honestly feel that sometimes I subconsciously make up such a feeling and that it does not really happen. But in other times of recurring memories with music or connection to NATURE, I do feel the vividness and substantiveness of the physical element.

[Skeezyks]

Hello hemorow: I see this is your first post... so... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Originally Posted by hemorow

Hello, I am really grateful you are taking the time to go through this. I will try my best to simplify and stay focused on a single issue, although I have always wished I could sit face-to-face with a psychiatrist since teenage! It is like one feels when they need external aid in understanding one's self or overcoming shortcomings that are far beyond one's ability to.

My concern can be mostly, if not entirely, related to positive euphoria or peak experiences. I have actually taken the time to go through psychology literature and read about Maslow's interpretation of peak experiences. I have even gone as far as exploring the topic of self transcendence. However nothing seems to describe my case accurately.

First it has nothing to do with religion. It is an intense feeling that mostly, but not entirely, occurs while listening to a relevant type of music, regardless the genre. If I perceive any absorbing part of a soundtrack that triggers certain emotional chords, I start going through the known cycle of spine chills. However I usually connect so solidly to music in a way that every single favorite soundtrack does relate to a past memory or make me nostalgic. It is too deep that I might experience flow as well, which I have also read about. I would recall an incident or an experience, good or bad. But that is not it. The problem is that it is too deep that I almost relive the feeling the soundtrack enticed. It is like I experience part of the feeling, that I previously had in the past, which is recurring to me while listening to that soundtrack!

Moreover naturally this should most likely trigger euphoria or a merry peak experience, however sometimes it is the opposite. I actually do REGRET having missed such memories or having not lived those moments while fully conscious in the past. I have always been anxious and worried about the smallest things through my life, so I probably have rarely enjoyed a moment to its maximum extent. Just assuming, though.

So the memories that are related to the soundtrack come around and I either enjoy reliving them in my mind or regret their passage and that I cannot resurrect them and make them real and lively again! I have always tried to repeat certain past experiences but it was never possible no matter how accurate I bring all variables together such as the right place, right time, right people, and so on. We do change as we grow and our perceptions of experiences do as well as I have observed. The same experience that I had in my memories and wished to relive would not be as good as it was before when it happened.

Finally on the conjuration of such memories, I might sometimes feel physical effects like goosebumps or the feeling of startled, like someone has startled you somehow. I honestly feel that sometimes I subconsciously make up such a feeling and that it does not really happen. But in other times of recurring memories with music or connection to NATURE, I do feel the vividness and substantiveness of the physical element.

I think this world has a lot of rules and expectations, so many of us try to "fit in." We even develop defense mechanisms.

Maybe you're simply honest with yourself that you're sensitive. Life is an experience to you, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Be yourself.