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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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Jul 08, 2007 at 03:34 PM
#1
To constantly try to please others and /or be "perfect".
Or to be controlled without even realising it .  I am thinking of one of my aunts.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2007
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Jul 08, 2007 at 03:38 PM
#2
Sounds like a break-down waiting to happen. I don't realize just what exhausted me until after it's floored me. Hope it doesn't come to that, yet sometimes it's the only way change happens. (Speaking of myself.)
(((aunt))) __________________ W.Rose   ~~~~~ “The individual who is always adjusted is one who does not develop himself...” (Dabrowski, Kawczak, & Piechowski, 1970) “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holms, Sr.) |
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Jul 08, 2007 at 03:47 PM
#3
I think you are right dear fuzzy...it must be exhausting
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Jul 08, 2007 at 03:48 PM
#4
Good and insightful post, thanks!!
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Jul 08, 2007 at 03:49 PM
#5
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
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Jul 09, 2007 at 11:17 AM
#6
It is! Take it from me... that's why I've stopped trying to please people except those that I love dearly... and then, I have limits to how much I do or try to do.
As far as being controlled, I have a built-in radar that sounds the alarm when someone is trying to control me. Instead of saying "Alarm" it says "REBEL!!!!"  I feel for your aunt, Fuzzy. Some people never wake up to the fact that they are being victimized.
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
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Jul 09, 2007 at 11:52 AM
#7
I tend to do this in my marriage - it is very exhausting!!
(((Fuzzy))) __________________  Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Jul 09, 2007 at 12:03 PM
#8
((((((((((((((( Tomi )))))))))))))) I thought you'd understand...... 
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Jul 09, 2007 at 12:05 PM
#9
((((((((((((((( Sabrina )))))))))))))) Awareness and insight (not distorted by those who want to control) is more than half the battle, I think?
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Jul 09, 2007 at 12:27 PM
#10
Yes, I think so too. And that I am aware of this, even though I may not have much insight into it - does help. How very fortunate I am that this is just who I am and that my husband isn't really controlling!
Now, having said that - I probably do allow myself to be controlled. Against my will! Nice thread Fuzzy! __________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Jul 09, 2007 at 12:31 PM
#11
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Grand Poohbah
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Jul 09, 2007 at 02:20 PM
#12
well..i am so sorry that i just FEEL I HAVE TO post the link to this wonderful article AGAIN ( i know you may get sick of me talking about that article. but it made me feel SO MCUH BETTER)
http://www.youmeworks.com/self_reliance_translated.html BUT REALLY dear Fuzzy. YOU ARE NOT HERE TO PLEASE THE WORLD YOU ARE HERE TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there are certain things that it`s o.k to say " i will do as they wish and get rid of it" BUT it doesn`t have to effect you in any way!! YOU matter frost only THEN your aunt. don`t you know that-the world is not made this way. every one has to care for HIMSELF first....that`s the only way it can work. that`s why you feel exhauseted by it. if you feel somehting is wrong then you should stop it. EVEN if it can make her feel uncomfortabel it`s better than keep doing it. you are the only one who can change your life, you know it right? |
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