Trying to make sense of something that I do

I'm trying to make sense of my behavior and thought process when it comes to signing up for activities I'm interested in. I tend to go back and forth with stuff a lot. I quit things, and then I want to go back.

One good example is guitar lessons. I have taken a guitar lesson here and there. But had never really had a teacher I felt comfortable with. I finally found someone though, who I like, and am comfortable with. I quit after 1 lesson, then I went back, and quit after 2 lessons. :-/

I do know that not everything about playing guitar is fun. Maybe I have distorted expectations about it. I sometimes felt claustrophobic about practicing. Like it impacted my mood. But that's me. A lot of things feel the need to do organically, when I feel like it, or I feel badly. I don't know how to explain it or how to understand it. I just want to know what this is, and that I'm not crazy.

This happens with other things too. For a long time, I had anxiety about taking classes, and going out and doing things. i'm really trying though. And I do feel like I'm being hard on myself. But I want to understand what's going on.

I am taking guitar lessons again.

Perhaps this is a discipline issue. Or commitment and focus issue. I have a lot of interests. I just would really like to commit to things I say I'm going to do, and continue with them. I have heard of the scanner personality, aka, the renaissance soul. People with tons of interests and passions. But It is really bothering me that I do not follow through with the things I commit to.

There's nothing wrong with trying new things, then deciding it isn't for you. I have done that with quite a few things. lol, decided I really wanted to learn guitar once because a friend played it so beautifully, and it was so wonderful to listen to.

Bought a guitar, and within a couple of weeks, hung the guitar on the wall because I had lost interest. (it's actually still there, so who knows, maybe I'll be interested again one day)

Maybe you just wernt as interested in it as you thought. You should definitely keep trying new things and don't worry about quitting. Eventually you will find something you love enough to keep up with.

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I'm not sure what 'things' you are talking about. Is it possible that there be 'trial' classes for 'things' you may be interested in?

I have a closet full of expensive and unused art supplies from classes I singed up for which either ended disasterously or I just plain lost interest in. However, I knew that art was something I needed to persue. I ended up finding a 'survey' course which covered a different medium each class. I ended up finally discovering what I was meant to do.

I say then, keep at it. Maybe you just haven't found the right thing yet. Perhaps too being restless ang eager to perform well at something works against us.

If you can't find such introductory or trial classes, consider talking to the facilitators about the possibility of trying something before commiting to it?

There could be a lot of reasons. Maybe you are a bit of a perfectionist and if you have to struggle to learn something you give up easily.

I think it's great you are trying lots of varied new things, and I do think you're being hard on yourself.

I have done the same too, when you click with something you will want to keep at it, but it seems sensible not to plug away at things which are not inspiring you - life is too short IMO. Just my take.

When you think about going to guitar lessons, what makes you not want to go?

I have a stop & start mentality with things too. I've realized that for myself, I'll commit to things when I'm manic & then when it comes time to step up to the plate, if I'm depressed or my anxiety kicks in I'll end up backing out 9 times out of 10. If it's a more personal thing (learning a new language, writing, etc), sometimes the idea of how daunting it is to just start makes me freeze. Instead of seeing the task as 1 thing: learn to play guitar, I'll see it as a list of things that seems insurmountable: shower & get out of the house, lug guitar into music store, sit in front of instructor and get anxiety about if he'll notice the zit on my forehead, curl clumsy hand into G-chord, struggle to read tablature, practice what I've learned, get anxiety about progress, etc... This is something I'm still learning how to overcome, but just thought I'd throw it out there because I think sometimes it's not a lack of motivation but a thought process that can cause action (or lack thereof).

If lessons are difficult to commit to now for you, there are some great YouTube videos on basics/how to read tablature & a lot of free music available online- that could be a way to start without the commitment? Good luck with the path you choose!

Are you a gemini? JK...

KeepingPace- are you talking about me or the OP? Because I definitely am

Thanks everyone. I feel less weird now. And more heard. Not sure what else to say about it. Don't really have the energy to go back over it because it's not something I'm thinking about right now, and i'm doing this thing, where i try not to ruminate. Anyways, thank you.

Ahhhh, ruminating and procrastination, two of my enemies.

Look into that idea about trying something out before you commit to it.