[smartiesparty]

I'm always scared that my boyfriend, who sometimes has bad days, will turn very violent for no reason. He has never turned violent, he is the type that mopes for a while and is okay then. Sometimes I'm so scared that I think he will kill me. I've had this problem since forever, also with previous boyfriend. I repeat that he really is a lovely guy, supportive etc.

Same goes for my father. Sometimes I'm scared he'll be very violent to me and try to harm me. I always try to be invisible when I'm with him.

Same goes for my brother.

What can I do ? I don't want to keep on living this way...

[Septembersrain]

Have you ever been abused? Have you felt extreme physical terror from another person? Sometimes emotional abuse can trigger your fight or flight response so it can make you feel like you are in a physically dangerous situation.

If this is stemming from something subconscious, I advise therapy to perhaps pull out that fear into plain view. It won't go away by itself because something inside is triggering you.

I fully understand and know how it feels to be scared. I have trust issues and I always feel like I'm going to be deserted.

I'm currently seeking help myself.

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[truthnlove]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

I'm always scared that my boyfriend, who sometimes has bad days, will turn very violent for no reason. He has never turned violent, he is the type that mopes for a while and is okay then. Sometimes I'm so scared that I think he will kill me. I've had this problem since forever, also with previous boyfriend. I repeat that he really is a lovely guy, supportive etc.

Same goes for my father. Sometimes I'm scared he'll be very violent to me and try to harm me. I always try to be invisible when I'm with him.

Same goes for my brother.

What can I do ? I don't want to keep on living this way...

Aw, honey. I hear you. Not trying to get too personal, but do you mind if I ask, have you ever known anyone (especially during your childhood) who had a problem with anger or was violent at all? Especially men?

[smartiesparty]

Yes I have received physical punishment, and have experienced severe emotional abuse as far as I can remember.

I am so tired of having this awful fear feeling in my throat, of being unable to do anything except thinking about that fear. I want it to go away, I am so exhausted by it.

[Septembersrain]

Sweetheart, you have to seek help to overcome it. Even if you can't afford a therapist, perhaps join support groups.

You can't keep it inside forever, it'll keep wearing you out until you can't bare it (If you're not already there).

Talk with people here, you might have PTSD and need to vent. I'm always for getting a therapist but it's your decision, both mentally and financially.

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