I guess. Life is full of gangstas,Gods. Etc..
How they get washed is by playing tricks on the mentally 'I'll. Also how they make money. I'm no gangsta. I often have said to myself about suicide "Dude have a heart. They were just getting clean." I have a sense of humour about the degradation and intelligence/power based attacks on my person. My advice to you about suicide. Have a heart. But if you have means of power,ie a nin ken. Go for it. Gangstas and Gods want to see a good show. They'll never admit they have power but. From the knowledge of a nin ken from a whelps point of view its obvious they have it.

[Takeshi]

I don't know what's going on in your life right now, but please have a heart and keep nurturing it, day by day, little by little.

My thought about suicide, being conscious in this world, there's this only one task while being surrounded by these stimulus and possible responses, which is to change our mind about it when it comes knocking our doors. And probably it's best to ask ourselves why we live, how we live, this doable and the only challenge here is the change of our attitude, for life, and hopefully it'll be a self-sustaining attitude of a person.

You wrote that you had a sense of humor, so let me tell you this, assisting suicide, if we did that in person, that'd most likely be a felony, plus we can't speculate too much about what's on another person's mind. Whether we like it or not, the society and its people decides this sort of things, they have rules, and I'm not so fond of the society but I try to listen.

Thanks for the update by the way, I came across your previous updates the other day, it's good to find you here like this. This is one way for you to hang in there, what comes after this for you or for me next year is unknown. You can have more knowledge if you live, then the knowledge provide us with mental power for good, it's just my theory. Please keep in mind being good is relative though, life includes a lot of mistakes and bunch of Q&As, try not to get tired of it.

If you could provide us with more updates, hearing about the origin of your username would be spectacular.