[Anonymous37919]

Do befriending services match you up with people who have flexible hours, and can act like an accomplice, despite being paid (like a support worker) to be in this role?

The reason I'm asking, is because I have not been able to secure decent support from anywhere else, like care/disability agencies. My sister told me about befriending.

Last year, I briefly had support from a few men, for 6 hours. My social worker claims I had more hours in the past because I had supported accommodation as well, although this is not true. However, I think these guys were just getting utilized as stool pigeons for my court appointed supervisor, because something did not add up about them. Apart from that, they had inflexible hours. There is a reason for that, but I'll come to that soon. But anyway, I dropped them after like only a month, but I felt I had a right to because they were useless.

My social worker claims he is trying to obtain new support workers. The thing is, I think he is telling the agencies he comes across (because he has to) about my previous issues with Autism Initiatives, so while I cannot prove it is the case, I think they're all running a mile. If I was truly going to gain new support, I reckon it should have happened by now. In the span of like 2 years, he only found Blackwood.

I'd never heard from him for ages. Too long, in fact. Then I randomly contacted him last week to chase him up because I'm anxious about gaining support soon, and that is how I knew he was trying to find support. When I contacted his boss months ago, he never got back to me after promising me flexible support. All I got sent was financial assessment forms. But recently, I learned he had left.

Another problem is that they won't provide female aides any more either. That explains why finding flexible support hours from male workers is so awkward, but hey, it ain't my fault they are being this way. They can do that too, due to my convictions.

Basically, I got accused of stalking and harassing 2 women that I had become infatuated with who supported me and then said they wanted to be removed from my case. Their bosses dropped them and lied in some flawed attempt to spare my feelings. Persistent apologies, outbursts and nagging only landed me in jail, and with supervision from an obnoxious watchdog. He is not my actual social worker, but they obviously will keep in touch.

I am very keen to be a film extra. Extras are people who appear in movies. They usually show up in crowd scenes. But due to having anxiety, I wanted somebody to go with me. But nobody I know is interested, and the social services complain that they aren't willing to pay a person £16 an hour to sit about, but I think that is rubbish. I'm just being kept at arm's length, it seems. To be honest, I would not call this paranoia or me being in any way ungrateful. I'm just aware that they will be that way because of what's gone on before.

However, I feel stuck. I'm more and more convinced that the help ain't coming. They also cast up crap regarding the funding, and a whole load of other stuff. I'm also trying to get a flat, but you have to bid on properties you don't even like.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Peter A

Do befriending services match you up with people who have flexible hours, and can act like an accomplice, despite being paid (like a support worker) to be in this role?

The reason I'm asking, is because I have not been able to secure decent support from anywhere else, like care/disability agencies. My sister told me about befriending.

Last year, I briefly had support from a few men, for 6 hours. My social worker claims I had more hours in the past because I had supported accommodation as well, although this is not true. However, I think these guys were just getting utilized as stool pigeons for my court appointed supervisor, because something did not add up about them. Apart from that, they had inflexible hours. There is a reason for that, but I'll come to that soon. But anyway, I dropped them after like only a month, but I felt I had a right to because they were useless.

My social worker claims he is trying to obtain new support workers. The thing is, I think he is telling the agencies he comes across (because he has to) about my previous issues with Autism Initiatives, so while I cannot prove it is the case, I think they're all running a mile. If I was truly going to gain new support, I reckon it should have happened by now. In the span of like 2 years, he only found Blackwood.

I'd never heard from him for ages. Too long, in fact. Then I randomly contacted him last week to chase him up because I'm anxious about gaining support soon, and that is how I knew he was trying to find support. When I contacted his boss months ago, he never got back to me after promising me flexible support. All I got sent was financial assessment forms. But recently, I learned he had left.

Another problem is that they won't provide female aides any more either. That explains why finding flexible support hours from male workers is so awkward, but hey, it ain't my fault they are being this way. They can do that too, due to my convictions.

Basically, I got accused of stalking and harassing 2 women that I had become infatuated with who supported me and then said they wanted to be removed from my case. Their bosses dropped them and lied in some flawed attempt to spare my feelings. Persistent apologies, outbursts and nagging only landed me in jail, and with supervision from an obnoxious watchdog. He is not my actual social worker, but they obviously will keep in touch.

I am very keen to be a film extra. Extras are people who appear in movies. They usually show up in crowd scenes. But due to having anxiety, I wanted somebody to go with me. But nobody I know is interested, and the social services complain that they aren't willing to pay a person £16 an hour to sit about, but I think that is rubbish. I'm just being kept at arm's length, it seems. To be honest, I would not call this paranoia or me being in any way ungrateful. I'm just aware that they will be that way because of what's gone on before.

However, I feel stuck. I'm more and more convinced that the help ain't coming. They also cast up crap regarding the funding, and a whole load of other stuff. I'm also trying to get a flat, but you have to bid on properties you don't even like.

admitting I didnt read your whole post....just going on your title of the post ...
in every members profile there is an option that says (for example when i go to your profile I see a link saying --- befriend Peter A --)

that link is like if you use facebook and you add friends and family to your friends list...

members can send you a friendship request and you can send them a friendship request. you get to approve (accept their friendship request ) or deny their friendship request. and when they get any requests that you send them, they can approve or deny you for their friendship list.

its not something where anyone here provides any services or female aids and such. its not a dating service or anything like that. and its not like going to a doctor or therapist. its just a way of making new friends, some may have the same problems as you and others may not, some may have the same views on things, some may not. short version is just like facebook friends list or twitters friends list.

[Anonymous37919]

Well, I was referring to real support workers, and the first post was intended to explain how difficult it has been for myself the past while.

Hi Peter, firstly I don't have experience of befriending within mental health or autism field.

However I do have a couple of friends who are volunteer befrienders with older peoples charities. What they do is go out into the community with the people they befriend and keep them company and help them with tasks they may find difficult - this helps those people maintain their independence. Both my friends enjoy their befriending roles, they aren't paid but do get expenses (for example travel costs) reimbursed, the people they befriend seem happy with the arrangement too. They are limited in the support they can provide though, it is a few hours a week and usually an activity and a chat kind of thing.

[Anonymous37919]

Well, I called up Health in Mind today to look into their befriending options. I'm sure they'll be able to help me, hopefully.