Invalidation

A friend sent me this URL, and I thought I'd share it with you. I found I relate to it a lot, and a lot of people have treated me this way (and I've learned the same habits myself, sometimes).

http://eqi.org/invalid.htm

Great site, I think invalidation is abuse.

Thanks Maven, that sure gives me a lot to think about.

Dee

i was wondering if you could be put a trigger icon on it? I hope im not being a wet blanket....im sorry...

Sheesh...is it possible to invalidate yourself? I tell myself those things a lot.

I actually sent this link, or one similar, to someone who was treating me with invalidation. It makes one feel they are greatly flawed to be invalidated.
Patty

Thanks Maven...

I can see these things can be invalidating however, what if a person is a drama queen/king & so emotional that they let that control their lives.

Sometimes these things are an indication that a person has a problem that they need to address. I know if I was constantly being told this & I would look into myself introspectively. If I found that they were all true.....they I would need to make some serious changes in my behavior.

If someone just says those things to hurt me & when I look internally & see they aren't true, then I am being invalidated.

They are good points to use to look at outselves because if we really are all those things, they we have a lot of work to do to become a functional person.

Sometimes when they apply to what a person is doing, they can be said to make the person realize what they are really doing. It is if we use them to hurt someone that is very wrong.

Just something to think about,
Debbie

Inny, sorry, it won't let me edit the post now, to put a trigger icon on. I didn't think it warranted one, to tell you the truth.

Debbie, I agree, we should evaluate ourselves from time to time, but there are better ways for people to tell us we should be doing that than to be cruel or hurtful.

That said, I sometimes have spoken this way to others, I admit. I learned it from how I've been spoken to. I get frustrated with people, like they do with me.

Rio, it most certainly is possible to invalidate yourself...we usually learn to do it when others do it to us first. I put myself down a lot. It's so hard not to...it doesn't feel "right" when I tell myself positive things sometimes, because it's "comfortable" to put myself down.