[Butterfly_Faerie]

<font color=blue>Believing in Myself - Meditations for Healing & Self-Esteem</font color=blue>

<font color=purple>Confidence </font color=purple>

My God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end … but I will not fear, for you are ever with me.
—Thomas Merton

If self-esteem means confidence & confidence means being sure about what’s going to happen, then we’re all out of luck in the self-esteem department. None of us knows the answers to the biggest, most important questions in life. If that fact makes us terribly insecure, we’re going to be in for a whole lot of fear, worry & anxiety.

The truly confident person knows that life is much more of a process & a journey than a matter of answers & destinations. It is one thing not to know where the road leads—but quite another to be paralyzed because we don’t know. If the open road makes us too frightened & insecure, we will probably miss all the lovely scenery along the way. And we won’t learn the lessons of the journey.

Confidence arises from self, not circumstances. Just because the road is uncertain doesn’t mean that we are. If we have a Higher Power walking just ahead of us, we have all the security we need.

Confidence in God turns my insecurity into trust.

<font color=purple>Money</font color=purple>

When money speaks, the truth keeps silent.
—Russian Proverb

Money talks to all of us. Whether we admit it or not, a lot of our self-esteem is based on the amount of money we’re able to earn, hoard, or spend. How could it be otherwise? The siren song of success calls out to us daily from advertisements, television shows & newspapers: “You must have more or you are a failure.” Because we hear the message loud & clear & because we don’t want to be failures, it’s hard not to buy into the idea.

But self has to do with being, not with having. These are totally different realities. Self-esteem is an art in itself, not a work of art that can be bought or sold. To have self-esteem is to know how much is enough. It is to value friendship over things & to have the ability to relax more, worry less & find plenty to laugh about.

Certainly everybody needs enough money to live on. Poverty can kill a spirit as quickly as riches can. But even great wealth can’t buy what isn’t for sale. Truly happy people know that their real riches reside within.

I will avoid the trap of outward trappings.

<font color=purple>Affirmations </font color=purple>

Our unconscious is like a vast subterranean factory with intricate machinery that is never idle, where work goes on day & night from the time we are born until the moment of our death.
—James Harvey Robinson

Not only do we all talk to ourselves, but we do it all the time. On a deeper level of consciousness than “Where did I put my glasses?” we ask & answer questions, weigh information & test different opinions. Our self-talk reinforces our reality to the extent that our entire self-concept & the esteem, or lack thereof, that flows from that concept is continuously re-created.

Affirmations are simply statements of positive truth. When we "do" affirmations, we take charge of that critical inner dialogue. By telling ourselves, "I am worthy even when I make a mistake," we legitimize that valid opinion whether or not we "feel" worthy at that moment. If we face ourselves in the mirror & say, "I am a lovable, competent person" we might hear an inner voice saying, "Who are you kidding?" But just the verbal expression of the positive self-definition enters an authoritative new voice into the inner dialogue.

Someone has said that affirmations are the quickest, least-bloody form of "brain surgery" ever devised. Of all the tools for self-rescue, what could be simpler or easier to use than affirmations?

I will use affirmations to reinforce realities that I know but don’t yet feel.

<font color=purple>Depression</font color=purple>

Tough Counts.
—Dorothy Reznichek

There is an obvious connection between depression & self-esteem. The more depression we experience, the more difficulty we usually have in retaining a positive sense of self. Depression is flattening. It could actually be called a spiritual steamroller.

Many excellent books have been written on the causes & cures of depression in all of its many faces & degrees. In spite of their various approaches, all of them agree that courage is necessary in dealing with depression. It takes toughness to win. When all the strategizing is done, all the information gained, what is left is simply the call for stamina & grit. Even when “going on” is the last thing in the world we may want or feel able to do.

It takes enormous courage to make a simple affirmation when we feel the world is coming down around our ears. To get out to a meeting when all we want to do is sleep or cry is sheer bravery & nothing else. To reach out when all we want to do is isolate may take the heroism of a medal-of-honor winner.

When all is said & done, toughness may be my best weapon.

<font color=purple>Decisions</font color=purple>

Nothing is more difficult & therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.
—Napoléon I

There are psychological as well as dollars-&-cents reasons for using experts to advise us before we enter new ground. Scouts who have been there before help us minimize our risk. Consultants can help us decide whether we should get involved in the first place.

Yet in personal endeavors, like the quest for self-esteem, outside input has limited value. Ultimately, the build-up or tear-down decisions are ours & ours alone. Suppose, for example, that someone puts us down & somebody else compliments us for the very same quality. Who do we believe? Or say that we have to make a decision that will have a considerable impact on our self-esteem. We consult several wise people & get different advice from each one. Again, who do we believe?

Of course we’d rather share the responsibility & have someone else bear part of the load. Perhaps we’d even like someone else to decide for us. But then we would never know the joyful confidence that comes from learning to trust our own judgment.

I can use outside input to validate my reasoning, but I must decide for myself.

<font color=purple>[b]Listening[b]</font color=purple>

The first duty of love is to listen.
—Paul Tillich

Dan & his daughter Sissy had been clashing for years. He found her unconventional lifestyle just as outrageous & unacceptable as she found his righteous criticism. Round after round of angry insults, like buckshot, had riddles the self-esteem of both father & daughter.

Then they went in to counseling. In the presence of a third person, each of them had a chance to talk without interruption. In that safe environment, swords were sheathed, shields were lowered, wounds were allowed to get some healing air. Amazingly, they began to talk to each other without shouting or accusing. By listening, each began to see, if not agree with, the other’s point of view.

Dan had sincerely believed that Sissy’s manner & dress were simply defiant of his authority. He learned that her style had nothing to do with him. It was merely her way to fit in, to be part of the group. Sissy learned that Dan didn’t really want his own way so much as he wanted her safety from harm. He saw her far-out clothing & haircut as abnormal & dangerous. Slowly, as each came to understand the other a little better, they came to accept each other as human beings, with different opinions, rather than as enemies locked in fatal combat. By listening & learning, they were able to call off the war & both be winners.

Understanding is a healing balm.

<font color=purple>Procrastinating</font color=purple>

The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.
—Baltasar Gracián y Morales

As embarrassing as it may be to have to line up with the “fools,” most of us have more than a little expertise at procrastinating. Of course, we know better. We know that avoiding something that we have to do makes us die a thousand times before we finally act & get relief. And we also know how ashamed we feel when we repeatedly cut & run.

Now that we’re working on our self-esteem, we need to take a serious look at behaviors that shame us. The next time a major decision comes up–should I leave or stay? Speak up or stuff it again? Start a recovery program or put it off one more time?–we need to remember what not deciding does to our self-esteem.

The issue that demands decision will not let us rest in peace until we act on it. The shame that squashes our self-esteem will keep building up, layer upon layer, until we finally do what we have to do. How much better to summon the courage we need today, not six months from now & simply get it over with. We’ve surely spent enough time hanging out with the fools.

The sooner the better is the only way for recovering procrastinators.

<font color=purple>Progress</font color=purple>

What is this self inside us, this silent observer, severe & speechless critic, who can terrorize us?
—T. S. Elliot

Shame is a powerful barrier to positive self-esteem. However undeserved, it is shame that constantly scolds that we are not doing enough or well enough. It is shame that says we are not as far along as we should be. And when our hearts & souls are harassed by shame, we find it difficult to make any progress on the spiritual walk that building self-esteem is. Or at least we have a hard time recognizing that we are making any progress.

This negative inner talk is all subjective, of course. That’s why it helps to set absolute, objective measuring points against which we can measure success. There is no arguing with objective goals; they’re either met or they’re not met. Are we having more positive days than before? Have we given our significant other more hugs, of both the verbal & physical kind? Are we in fact trying new things? Have we in fact resisted some compulsion or said that word we found so hard to say? If so, we are on our way.

All of these & dozens of similar behaviors are objective measuring points against which progress can be verified. Acknowledging progress points not only feels good but it’s good for us. In the face of documented success, shame tends to back off.

Undeserved shame flies from the light of objectivity.


<A target="_blank" HREF=http://open-mind.org/Daily/Reading/43.htm>http://open-mind.org/Daily/Reading/43.htm</A>






<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[SeptemberMorn]

Hot dang!! Even more good stuff!

Thanks again!!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[SunshineGold03]

This is GREAT! Thanks!

Jenn

[(JD)]

good stuff.

I recently had a person anxiously contact me about something that wasn't going right for them, and asking me to fix it...

I informed the person that procrastination upon her part did not constitute an emergency upon my part.

Her reply? Oh I didn't procrastinate, I always wait to do it the night before!!!

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[dexter]

>> Oh I didn't procrastinate, I always wait to do it the night before!!!

That's a Dilbert-ism if I ever heard one.

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--http://www.idexter.com