[Caelix3]

How do I know if I love my girlfriend?

I say I love you when she says I love you to me. But it feels like something I have to say.

I feel pretty numb and unsure how I feel.

We have almost everything in common. From our interests to the things we dislike.

I've tried imagining my life without her. But I remember she said if it didn't work out, she would still want to be friends. So technically I can't imagine my life without her. Because even if we break up, we would still be friends.

I don't know what to do.

She is so accepting and nice and in love with me. While I'm unsure how I feel.

Any advice please?

1. Does being with this person enrich your life?
2. Do you feel the urge to include this person in all aspects of your life?
3. Do you feel comfortable being honest with your partner about your life?
4. Do you feel the need to share the wins and losses in your life.
5. Do you appreciate your partner doing all the above?
6. Does a balance between 'give' and 'take' happen automatically in the relationsip.
7. Do you have an overpowering need to protect your girlfriend from harm and would you stand in harm's way to do so?
etc

[eskielover]

First off if you are unsure about the feeling of LOVE don't say it.
Love grows in a relation. It grows out of an emotional connection & yes, all the things you have in common like you have explained.

From personal experience, I grew up in a home with parents who had problems that made them impossible to REALLY emotionally connect with anyone even people around them let alone really in their marriage but they made their marriage work. Did they love each other....probably but there was never a real emotional connection I ever felt to exist.

I always wondered what was missing but thought what I was experiencing was NORMAL. I didn't understand about the emotional connection lacking until just a few years ago after I left my own 33 year marriage for many reasons with lack of emotional connection being one of the many issues. At the end I realized my H had just done things all along because he knew it was the right thing to do, not because he had any real recalling in doing them. If there hadn't been so many other issues, I might have been able to tolerate that.

It wasn't until I moved far away that I learned what emotionally connecting with people felt like. I didn't really know how to emotionally connect because I had never lived around that feeling...just thought something was always missing & thought it was me that had the problem until I found out I could connect.

The commitment to love someone in a relationship should never be taken lightly & really meant before just saying it. Maybe you just need time to soul search your REAL feelings & what is going on inside of you that is making you question this.