[NikoleS]

It seems like everyone around me like to talk about people like "so and so did that" and I get sucked into their gossip. I hate to be apart of it and I'm too quiet to tell them to stop. I start wondering if they talk about me too like this to others.

My friend like to do it and I feel bad when she does. Also, I've been feeling distant to her. Sometimes she doesn't understand me and I try to explain things to her and she still doesn't get it. She's been needy and gets upset when I don't text her back, but I can't all the time because I have to do things. I've been trying to respond to her as much as I can, but I can't because I would be ignoring people around me. I think she's still stuck on being in a high school phase. I don't know how to explain it. She tells me things about people from high school I never even talked to even when I was in school.

I hate this. It seems like people are obsessing over other people's lives. If we didn't have social media, no one would even know what these people are doing. She tells me she saw so and so in public and I think "oh cool did y'all talk?" and she is like "no i just saw them".

I try to stay off Facebook because every time I try to delete it people get upset because it's like their only means of communicating even though they have my number.

But it seems that's all that people do now is look at what people are doing on Facebook and talk about it.

However, it is useful to communicate with people throughout the world but I don't think there needs to be an obsession like it's the only way to communicate.

I'm sorry for ranting.
Also, I'm sorry if this sounds weird I've been speaking a different language all day and now I'm writing in English haha

[Open Eyes]

Hi Nikole,

A lot of people spend their time wandering and all they learn to do is spend time talking about others and never engage in "doing" themselves. I have found that I tended to be too busy engaging and doing so I could not say who was up to what unless they were directly involved with what I was engaged in.

It sounds like you have been "busy" engaging in life and you don't want to be distracted by individuals who are not engaging and spend more time critiquing others. You are not a constant spectator, you are a doer. Nothing wrong with that.

[NikoleS]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Hi Nikole,

A lot of people spend their time wandering and all they learn to do is spend time talking about others and never engage in "doing" themselves. I have found that I tended to be too busy engaging and doing so I could not say who was up to what unless they were directly involved with what I was engaged in.

It sounds like you have been "busy" engaging in life and you don't want to be distracted by individuals who are not engaging and spend more time critiquing others. You are not a constant spectator, you are a doer. Nothing wrong with that.

When you give into the negative energy it's bad.
Earlier today she was self conscious about her weight but I tell her to don't worry and gave her tips on what to do when she's thinking negative and I got a "blah blah" :c

[eyesclosed]

I'm with you Nicole, it's the new normal and if you don't conform they will toss you out so now they got another thing to gossip about. It's hard to do something you don't believe in. This says a lot about you, you have good values. Don't you like it when the person they were talking about shows up and they are all nice to them. it doesn't get any better with age. The job I had for 18 yrs was a assembly plant with a line of people almost elbow to elbow and there was no escape from it 10 hrs a day and then come home and when my ex- to be wife came home. Thats all I heard phone call after phone call so and so at work Blah,Blah hello U have a husband here well not anymore.

[NikoleS]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

I'm with you Nicole, it's the new normal and if you don't conform they will toss you out so now they got another thing to gossip about. It's hard to do something you don't believe in. This says a lot about you, you have good values. Don't you like it when the person they were talking about shows up and they are all nice to them. it doesn't get any better with age. The job I had for 18 yrs was a assembly plant with a line of people almost elbow to elbow and there was no escape from it 10 hrs a day and then come home and when my ex- to be wife came home. Thats all I heard phone call after phone call so and so at work Blah,Blah hello U have a husband here well not anymore.

I feel fooled when someone is talks bad about a person but then I see them hanging out like what's going on?

[Fuzzybear]

[Hairball]

I think if u practiced some boundaries with the people that communicate with you it would go a long ways. People have been gossiping for eons, it is what you chose to do with it that counts.

Originally Posted by NikoleS

I feel fooled when someone is talks bad about a person but then I see them hanging out like what's going on?

Yes and I always think if they can be like that about others they can be like that about me to behind my back. I don't like gossip and I don't trust gossipers either.

[eyesclosed]

I Know the feeling and there is no trust with these people. Like you said you wonder what they say behind your back. It's almost like peer pressure to go along with it to get along. I didn't have a lot of friends at work because I never joined in. I signed a lot of job postings and found no matter where I was except forklift in shipping gossip was the entertainment. I thought I was too judgmental about it until I would see them outside of work with there family they would say hi and were totally different people.

If they talk about others like that to me how the hell do they talk to them about me.

I think it fair when a friend confides in me they are having a great deal of difficulty with another and want my opinion on what to do. But, when it is simply ranting or gossiping that crosses the line.

(I realise I rant here but their is I believe a different context in what is said here than what is said to an acquaintance.)

[Montezumadiz]

Engaging into that sort of conversations is never good. Same as most of yall, don't really like to talk about that with others. In my way I think even if you talk good about someone, they can also think the contrary, and go on.

[avlady]

i hate gossip too. it only leaves a bad taste in my mouth so to say. i think it is foolish and disrespectful, especially when the person and people spreading are the ones who should be talked about.

[JosephRico.]

Originally Posted by NikoleS

I feel fooled when someone is talks bad about a person but then I see them hanging out like what's going on?

Exactly!! I feel the same way