[bpfriend321]

I have an adult friend who I’m worried about and would be grateful for any feedback and advice for her .


She engages in compulsive behaviors – detailed planning for her future (she HAS to have the next 5,10,15 years planned), taking photos when she’s away from home (she takes WAY too many, and wishes she didn’t have to). She compulsively counts things, even when she knows how many of them there are. Counting stairs on the way up (not down).
Acting on her compulsions calms her down, she says.

She experiences periods – days or a week – of mania when she has lots of energy and can stay up for 20 hours a day. Usually she is sort of middle of the road, but sometimes she gets depressed. She’s able to drag herself to work when she is depressed though. She gets a week off work at a time and will sometimes stay in bed for several days and watch TV shows repeatedly to escape her anxious and self-critical thoughts. She says she can’t stop watching the shows when she’s in the midst of that and hates herself for it.

She dealt with a lot of social anxiety and nervousness as a younger person which was debilitating, but she has mostly overcome that.
The thing that worries me most is she falls in love based on nothing (“for no reason at all” she says) and then loses herself. “I cannot and do not control what happens after that.” She describes herself as being powerless to deny them anything they want. “I cannot say, OK, goodbye, you treated me badly. There is no way I could do that, if they did treat me badly. I’m completely at the mercy of that person.” She often chooses men who are unattainable. Luckily she hasn’t fallen for any abusive men, yet.

She does not have suicidal thoughts and doesn’t abuse any substances. She lives in a country where there is not a good mental health support system.

I have read this description to her and she’s OK with the post and also grateful for anyone who can give any advice. She will be monitoring the responses. Thank you!

[Skeezyks]

Hello bpfriend: I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer in terms of advice here. But I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So I thought I would say to PsychCentral.

From what you wrote, it sounds as though your friend needs professional mental health services. But I know you wrote she lives in a country without a good mental health support system. Hopefully other members may have some useful suggestions.

Well I am sorry to hear about this friend. It sounds anguishing as I recognise it from my own mental health history.

Remember though that first and foremost we cannot diagnose here. That is for a professional. And that is what I encourage. Even seeing a family doctor is a start and better than nothing. This friend clearly needs to do this. Ignoring this may invite worse to come.

In the meantime, your friend seems self-aware. That is indicative that what she is experiencing isn't full-blown mania. How is her irritability level? Does she flit between one thing and another? Unable to concentrate on one thing while multitasking? Is she spending a great deal of money with little control? And would you say she is engaging in high risk behaviour including hypersexuality? These are the hallmarks of mania. The depression or depths of despair tend to be just as extreme. What she, or you, might want to do is write all of this down. Arm her with as much information as possible for that appointment with her doctor.

Address the issues of healthcare problems as they arise. Encourage her to still see her family doctor and not let fear of no help being available to prevent her from at least seeking out what is.

What a terrific friend you are.

[avlady]

just a friend 306 answered your questions very well, you should answer the questions to find out why.