[VernonJenkins]

They provided me a sense of comfort in knowing what was expected of me. If I wasn't good enough for them, they let me know... Whereas others would sugarcoat things and have obvious pity for my weaknesses, they didn't... I knew that they would tell me the truth in that department. If I was weak, they would tell me I was weak instead of lying to me... I hate being lied to. I want to know how people really feel about me and they gave me that comfort, even though keeping them satisfied was so draining... I wanted my own feelings of inadequacy to be validated, because all I saw in myself was weakness and things to critique. The positives were never good enough, so whereas relationships with normal people would leave me feeling doubtful and stressed, relationships with narcissistic people would make me feel comfortable in a sick way because my self-image was being validated: a weak, pathetic loser.

Can anyone relate?

[shezbut]

That makes some sense to me, Vernon.

While it wasn't healthy ~ neither were your other relationships to "normal" people. I can understand that.

I've been f'd up for years....I'll have to talk with an impartial to see if my ex falls into that category. But, that makes a lot of sense to me.

[Iscariot]

It may also have to do with expectations, there is a certain rest in this - if neither of you hold any faith in you, you have no good opinion to uphold and there is no risk of disappointment.

[subtle lights]

Well in my experience, after being in a short but painful relationship with one, he was not telling really the truth, he was trying to make me feel worthless with painful comments. He was not really validating what I thought I believed about myself but I guess he was touching in on what I really believed deep inside - that's why I was attracting him and wanted to be with him.
I'm sorry that you went through these experiences though

[VernonJenkins]

Originally Posted by Iscariot

It may also have to do with expectations, there is a certain rest in this - if neither of you hold any faith in you, you have no good opinion to uphold and there is no risk of disappointment.

This is true.