[Rio_]

I started university last week, and today was my first classes. I also had to register for a doctor and ask about lunchtime language classes, on top of finding my way around the place (I turned up five minutes late to my afternoon lab, luckily they didn't seem to mind!)... The final straw came this evening, though. My violin teacher suggested I join a chamber orchestra in the city, but because it's nothing to do with the university it's a bus ride away. I hate the buses here! It was half an hour late, which meant I got to my stop exactly when the rehearsal was due to start, and I was so busy trying not to be late that I left my bag on the bus! (Ok, so that bit was my fault.) Luckily, because it was a bus station that it had stopped at, the bus was still there so I could get my bag back, but I still ended up being almost 20 minutes late to rehearsal. I was very lucky they hadn't started playing yet!

The people there seem nice, but the standard of playing is much higher than what I'm used to - I've only played in school orchestras before. I had trouble keeping up, even though I was only playing second violin. And it didn't end until 10, which meant I didn't get back home until half past (luckily the bus on the way back was a lot less eventful )...I don't think I can keep this up! I said I'd turn up next week, but today has really worn me out.

I just feel like crying now.

[eskielover]

Rio,

Your day really does sound like it was not only long, but hectic. However, the chamber group sounds like a wonderful experience. I play flute & love playing in chamber groups. I love the small groups much better than the huge orchestra. I am glad you are getting a chance to do this. I know when I first started playing in the small groups, I felt completely lost.....they would be playing several measures ahead of me & I knew I wasn't right, but couldn't end up finding my place in the music.

I am sorry that your bus ride was so horrible....you must be exhausted....sit back & have a nice hot cup of tea with your feet up.....a few tears won't hurt....it cleanses the frustration....& you will be as good as new by tomorrow.

Debbie

[smiley1984]

I thought I was the only one to do stupid things and have bad first days!!
I get so stressed starting anything new, finding my way around, meeting new people, trying to sound OK when you are really freaking out about it all.
I started somewhere today and got lost in the building for a while and then got stuck in an elevator and ended up being quite late.

But if the first day was so horrible, the rest of the semester can only get better.
second days are always soooooo much better. I hope yours is.
And don't over extend yourself. If you can manage orchestra and enjoy it - go for it. But if it is causing your studies to suffer, maybe not so great. But since today was just the first, busy day, I'd give it a week or 2 and then decide.

PS the buses over here are bad to. they are always late, that is if they even turn up

[Rio_]

Thanks for replying, eskielover. I'm sure it would be a good experience, but I don't think I'd be able to face making that trip every week! There's actually an orchestra with the university starting up soon, and I signed up for auditions today - I think I'll go along there instead assuming I get in, because it'd be a lot easier. Plus, the people there would more likely be closer to my own age - most of the ones at last night's group were much older than me.

That's great you love playing in chamber groups! I've never played in one before now, just my school orchestra.

Thanks. It was pretty horrible - I'm not used to buses, I've only ever got one by myself once before. I had a drunk guy shouting stuff after me when I was walking to the bus station on the way back as well...nothing too crude, but it was still really embarrassing. I am feeling better today, though - I think sleep helped! That's another thing about that group - it means I don't get home until almost 11 at night, and I have a 9am lecture the following day.

[Rio_]

Thanks for replying, smiley1984. No, you're not! Sorry you find it so hard, though. I keep getting lost at university as well - it's huge! 20000 people, compared to 800 at my high school.

Thanks, I hope you're right. Luckily I've made a few friends who are doing my course, so I've just been following them to lectures. And today was better than yesterday. I've got this afternoon off, which is nice!

To be honest, I'm not sure the orchestra is worth the hassle. It was quite good, but there's nobody my age so it was quite awkward during the break, and I was really struggling with the music. Hopefully the university orchestra will go better.

[eskielover]

Rio,

I know I would be very afraid to be on the bus like you were that night. There are too many strange people like the drunk....I wouldn't want to take any chances that some stranger would start following me or something very scarry.

I used to go places all the time at night. Night classes at college, going to the store, ....but in my own car where I felt under control.....that is until one night on the way home from packing up my Mothers house to get it ready to sell....this wierd guy started to follow us (my husband was driving at the time). He was waving his hands & getting in front of us then in back.....he followed us for over 40 miles...all the way to the off ramp we take to get to our home. There was quite a distance at that time & my husband thought the guy had left us alone.....then as we were driving farther along the street, there he was following us again. I told my husband to go to the sherrif station but he went to the guard company he was working for at the time. We pulled into the parking lot & the guy followed....parked & got out of the car & walked up & down the sidewalk. My husband called the dispatch & they sent several guards to help us. When confronted, the guy said he thought I was a friend & wanted to make sure I got home ok. What didn't make sense was that when he saw I wasn't her, why didn't he just leave.....He still wouldn't leave & got into a fight with one of the guards & they sprayed him with pepper spray. Finally the sherriff came & found some drug stuff in his car....found out he had just gotten out of jail 2 days before & is listening to him, he sounded like he possibly was mentally ill. & probably on drugs too. Telling the sherriff that the Viet Nam war was because of him & all kinds of strange dilusional statements....bizzar.

After that, I wouldn't go out of the house at night for several years...until I finally started getting a bit braver....but I'm still don't feel safe out at night alone....don't think I ever will again.

Sounds like joining the orchestra at the university is the best idea....getting to know other musicians at your school would be a wonderful thing too. The university I went to had all kinds of music groups to join including chamber groups....that was were I first got involved in chamber music. Then later, I found a flute orchestra in the city where I lived in California . That was fun....we played at the local music center & then for Christmas tree lightings & at the mall. I am hoping to find a group to play my flute with in Kentucky. They have a wonderful music program at the college in the town next to where I live. I have already talked with them, but will get in touch seriously when I get settled. I have always played at churches & with choirs. I only got my AA in music....then I decided to major in something that I could earn a living with....but I continued music as my hoby for the rest of my life. Music is a wonderful way to express yourself....I find it very relaxing...more now that I'm not forcing myself to practice 8 hours a day.

Hope your audition goes well.
Debbie

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Rio ))))))))))))))))

[Rio_]

I was actually more scared before getting on the bus - the bus itself was well-lit, and I was sitting just behind the driver - but I still can't say I enjoyed it. I very rarely went out at night back at home, so I'm really not used to making trips like this.

That sounds very scary, I'm sorry. At least you managed to find the sheriff, though.

I don't feel very safe at night by myself either, but I come from a small town and as far as I know it was always fairly safe there at night - my parents let me walk back from work by myself in the dark, anyway, as long as I promised to stick to the main road. But where I'm living now is a big city, so I know it's not going to be the same.

That's a good point! I haven't really met any other musicians here, other than a couple of people who play guitar. As far as I can tell, there's only the orchestra here in the way of music groups - I tried looking for a ceilidh band, but couldn't find one. That does sound like fun, and hope you manage to find another group you can play in nearby! I'm not doing a music degree - I never took music at school, so I doubt they'd let me in even though I got my grade 8 in March - but other than not being able to use the practice rooms here not being part of the music department hasn't bothered me so far.

Thanks!

[Rio_]

((((((Fuzzybear)))))) Thanks.

[Perna]

I think beginnings are always hard and more stressful especially when some of our anxieties (being late, I have a hard time with that too) show up to "slow us down".

I think you're extremely brave to try the "real" chamber group, I wouldn't have the nerve. Can you talk to your teacher about it and maybe practice some of the pieces during your time there at your lesson so you're more comfortable with them, faster?

I guess I'd give myself a certain length of time to try it out and see if I could get it to work. I volunteered to be part of a panel this summer and give a talk about myself and, sure enough, in the beginning when I was starting off I forgot what I was saying and came to a screeching halt within 3 sentences. But I recovered! and everything came out okay and I didn't die :-) and I feel the better for having done it.

[silver_queen]

((((((((((( Rio ))))))))))))

Congrats on starting at university! Are you still living in scotland? (I guess you are since you mentioned a ceilidh band, I can't imagine many of those in England!) I think the first week is the worst, when you're trying to orientate yourself and work out which classes to go to and where they are and how to get there, as well as trying to make new friends. Big universities can be rather overwhelming - there are 40,000 students here, and it's easy to just feel like you're nobody, and you have to make sure you won't be overlooked if you need help! I know you have 20,000 but still your personal tutor might not notice if you need any help.

What subject are you doing? You could join one of the student societies in your subject, or maybe in something that interests you.

I suppose you have a student newspaper, it will give local news in there and you should be able to get some idea from it which places aren't safe to walk alone, or where students should avoid. You could also try asking at your student union, they might be able to tell you.

Don't worry too much about being late in your first week! I'm taking a first-year class for some of my credits (I'm in the second year) and in that class loads of people kept coming in late. The latest person came in 20 minutes after class had started. Even if you arrive late you're going to benefit from the class, it's better than not going at all.

I imagine you'll get used to buses, I did not like them when I first started using them on my own, but since they're a part of life now I have to accept them...

(((((((((( Rio )))))))))

[Rio_]

Thanks for replying, Perna. That's true.

Thanks! If I'd known what was going to happen, though, I doubt I would have gone. My teacher is actually on holiday at the moment, unfortunately, and even after she gets back I still won't be able to see her until around Christmas, I live too far away now to go back every week for a lesson.

I'd normally do that, but even if I can get the journey to go more smoothly, it would still take up an entire evening one week, and once the work really starts I doubt I'll have time. Plus, there's a group I signed up to during freshers' week (a dance one, not a music one) that meets that night anyway, and I'd like to try it. That certainly sounds like a challenge, but that's great you managed it!

[Rio_]

((((((silver_queen)))))) Thanks! I am still living in Scotland - about an hour away from where I was before. (I doubt there'd be too many ceilidh bands in England either. ) It has been pretty confusing, especially since one of the lecture theatres we'll normally be in is being refurbished, so one of our lectures has been in two different buildings. At least it means we get to see more of the university, though, I guess! And I've managed to find some people doing my course, so we generally stick together during the day. Wow, I thought 20000 was big enough - your university is huge!

I'm doing an engineering course, and at the moment my lectures take place with the entire mechanical engineering department, although one day a week it's just my course doing a lab for the entire day, so that'll be nice. (Hasn't happened yet, though - it starts next week.) I'm not sure there is a student society for my course - I did join the IMechE (Institute of Mechanical Engineers), but I don't think there's actually any meetings for that. I did join a Scottish Country Dance club, though - nothing to do with my course, but it should be fun anyway.

Thanks! I've noticed that as well - no matter how late I've been (and it hasn't been more than about 5 minutes so far, luckily), I'm never the last one. That's true!

Hopefully I won't have to use the buses a lot - I much prefer the trains, I'm more used to them. Thanks, though.

[silver_queen]

You can always set up your own engineering society, or maybe instead join the knitting society or something - there are some very strange societies around!