Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel

Hello everyone finally got something positive to post. So not to long ago i had what i think i can only describe as the worst anxiety episode ive ever had. It came on very suddenly but basically all of my fears especially my fear of death drove me into a completely existential crisis. I couldnt find meaning or a purpose to my existence and my suffering, my mind basically fell apart and I just got sucked into a tornado of fear and horror, it was the most horrific experience i ever had but in that mayhem i had what i can only describe as a revelation (and Im not even religious). It was bizarre because it was like my mind needed to show me something and what it showed me was what my future could be like and most importantly becoming a father someday. I know its weird at 20 years old to feel so paternal but it was so weird the thought of having a child someday was so unbelievably warming and joyous that i couldnt help but smile, so much so that it practically sucked me right out of my crisis. And here I am now feeling like Im walking with purpose for once in my life, but not only do I want to be a dad someday but I want to be a good one, which means I have to change and strive to become a better person if I want a beautiful future. What better way to justify my life and eventually my death then to have a beautiful family.I know its gonna be brutally hard and it'll take alot of work but I think that this is the meaning I've been looking for to justify my existence. Ever since that moment I've notably grown more positive in my thinking because I finally have a goal that I can drive towards. I've already been eating better and now I plan to start working out aswell and it has already had a big change in my mood. For the first time in a long time I actually feel comfortable with my mortality and in my future. Do I know it will work out? No nobody can know that but Im finally willing to try. Thanks for reading and I hope if you feel the same way, that you have been able to take something positive from this

I wish you luck!

((((hugs)))))

You are taking the first steps by learning more about what you want. Thank you for sharing positivity.

Congrats on your breakthrough from such a dark place, and for your newfound revelation! That's exciting!

Wish right now I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't.

Fantastic!