your opinions please!

Hello all!
I'm not new to psychcentral, but this is one of my 1st posts. Want opinions on what i might 'have'

my symptoms
-forget blocks of time, not often now, but several times in childhood.
-get in very happy moods. I can approach c complete stranger and start a conv.
-once in a blue moon, I get to crying-sobbing loudly, trouble breathing (the way someone who's traumatized would) for no apparent reason. it could be listening to an instrumental song that sounds sooo beautiful. (accompanied by hopeless feeling, and low self esteem)
-untrusting of diagnosis (i fit bits and pieces of just about every disorder- so which one, if any, is correct?)
I just HATE being labeled, and when someone else gets labeled.
-racing thoughts- great ideas for business opportunities, all that make the world (or someone's life) better.
-I'll start a task full steam ahead, and never finish it. ie, I took home about 20 different small plants from a plant swap with full intentions of 'becoming a gardener' -it's been a week and I still haven't planted them. I think I will tomorrow, but, still- I haven't yet.

-I have a very hard time with patience. I hate being in the right lane as a passenger, behind someone driving a bit slower, when no one's in the left lane. Even if we don't have to be somewhere in a hurry.
-I have to pace around the house when I'm on the phone.

-pet peeve when someone talks too slow when speaking to me.
-yesterday, i looked at clock it was 7:55 am..... in what felt like 2 minutes, I looked and it was 8:23 am... my daughter was late for school, and worse off, I can't even account for those 20 some minutes.
-I'm quite creative (if I don't say so myself ;-) and don't want to lose my eccentric side. I just want to function better, and stop getting what I think are weird looks.
-Could it be that I'm just weird, don't deserve therapy because nothing is really wrong with me?
-I trance out alot (about once a day-for a few minutes), my eyes don't focus, I'm perfectly still. like zoned out. like a mental break/vacation. I saw myself in a 'trance' once on home video, and it looked really creepy. I was awake talking to husband, and just went into a trance. (sometimes it's hard to get out of, like getting out of a warm bed on a cold & early morning.
-I almost always describe something with an analogy (i think that's what it is. ie "my mind is like a speeding train with no destination." like that. I like how i do this. I think it's sorta cool.

***** From the beginning, I've always felt different. Not like the 'everyone's unique' different, but like i think differently.

-I think I'm highly intuitive... I empathize so much and well, it's really cool.

-I have a very short fuse, temper.

-I'm extremely sensitive to noise. I could be playing dance music on radio real loud and dancing with my children having a crazy good time, & when commercial comes on I tense up, get extremely irritated, feels like BP goes up, turn down radio and tell my children, in a not so nice way, to be quiet for mommy. I don't yell at them, but I'm sure my reaction looks crazy to them)

-I'm skeptical.

*** My first diagnosis was ADHD. My sanity test mentions dissociative disorder. Can it be? Wouldn't I be aware of other 'egos' or 'personalities'? because I don't know of any.

What do you all think?

- Please listen, I never wanted to be that person that posts a long drawn out message. It's like I'm a nuisance (and I always try to avoid that). I don't ask for help often but I feel like I REALLY need it now. I'd pay you all to respond if I could if I had the $. Please let me know what you think. Please?

thanks to you all
Tracy from NJ

None of us here can make a diagnosis, but from what I understand, you can be DID and not have any alters.

Are you in therapy now? Have you brought up these things to your T? That would be your best bet for a Dx and for help getting things "fixed" that give you problems. You at least owe it to your children.

Good luck!

Thanks for replying, SeptemberMorn.

I'm seeing a T and just started a group therapy at a mental hosp. close by. I'm not there overnight, just weekdays.

They think it's BP, not ADHD-(another Dr. previously diagnosed me with ADHD & some OCD- I ruminate often, and have rituals. Also have 'black or white' thinking... no gray areas). Dr. said symptoms are VERY similar between the 2, but I don't know, I'm just not satisfied. How do I know which Dr. misdiagnosed me? I just want to get better for my family. To feel more normal.

I'm sorry if I put you on the spot for a diagnosis. I thought people could just give opinions of what they think might be it. Thank you again for responding, it lifted my spirits a bit

Wishing Health and Happiness for You today! In NJ it looks like it might be the last warm day (for Autumn weather)- I'm planning on enjoying it after group.

Thanks again
Tracy from NJ

Hi Tracy,

You can have DID without having different personalities. Also, you can have traits of a disorder without actually having the disorder--just have some of the symptoms. Think about it, everybody has symptoms of depression sometime in their life, but that does not mean they have clinical depression.

I have a few different "labels" but I don't let it get to me. Its just words used to describe some of my behavior and feelings. I am not a diagnosis--I am a person.

Some of your post describes my ADHD tendencies.

Maybe it is a good idea for you to see a pdoc to help you sort some of this out.

LOL You didn't put me on the spot. It was pretty much a disclaimer... plus a reminder.

It's good that you're getting yourself some kind of help. If I were you, though, if I remember right from being hospitalized, the hosp. will assigne you a psychiatrist. Nowadays, all they do is listen to what you have to say about your symptoms and MAYBE you'll get a straight Dx. They usually just prescribe your meds for you.

You know, if labels bother you, don't worry about your Dx. Something else I've picked up along the way is to NOT say "I suffer with..." because most of the time I don't allow myself to "suffer"... but I DO "live with..." The illness doesn't define me, it's only a small part of me.

Something else... if you know you have Black or White thinking, in the Psychology forum (I think it's called) there is a sticky by _Sky about Cognitive mistakes. One of them addresses just that. You might want to look at it.